Have you been searching for just the right way to commemorate the 9/11 disaster? Are kitschy figurines and patriotic truck decals and screaming eagle t-shirts just not doing it for you? The solution has arrived: genuine non-circulated Liberian currency in the shape of a $20 bill—but made out of .999 pure silver, and picturing the once-mighty Twin Towers, and bearing a "9" and and "11" on one side which cleverly add up to $20, which is also the price of this unique and patriotic (USA) item. Here is an ad for this treasure that will simply make you say "wtf." Click to watch right now.

Our Jezebel friends found this while looking for paparazzi photos. They were kind enough to share it with us! It is from Orange Country, Florida. It was, obviously, just paid for by some crazy local businessman. We appreciate how concise and polite it is. So much political debate is so strident these days, don't you think? This is a nice corrective. [Splash]

The MySpace homepage today features the same burning-building graphic used in the promotional poster for the upcoming Dark Knight sequel. It's not a new image, but by pushing the campaign online, it certainly reminds me of recent attempts to trigger epileptics by posting strobing images to epilepsy forums — since survivors of the attacks on the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001 suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder might cry "trigger." Maybe someone at Fox Interactive did it for the lulz.

Oh noes! Perez Hilton, your favorite blogossip maven and carpeted spiral staircase-haver, went under the knife yesterday. The laser knife. Yes, he's gotten LASIK eyeball surgery so he can finally see clearly without the use of irritating contact lenses and nerdy glasses. And he's recorded a goodbye video on his site, because he won't be back to blergin' until late today. Can you imagine? It'll be a whole day practically without queeny musings on Tony Romo and Britney Spears' former assistant. Kwell dommage. At least we can await a brighter future in which, with his new robotic laser-infused seein' spuds, the Microsoft Paint penises he draws on so many photos will turn into beautiful, stunningly realistic, subtly shaded and textured cocks. "Is that a Caravaggio," some creaky doyenne will cluck. "Oh noooo, madam," her foppish man servant, Brilliams, will reply. "It's a Hilton!" Dramatic goodbye video (featuring the debut of the carpeted spiral staircase!) is here.

A Brazilian newspaper is running a series of ads with the slogan "Understand the real value of money." So what's the real value of a dollar? Apparently it's terrorism, pollution, the Challenger disaster, war, and tornadoes. Oh, and weed. They didn't forget the weed. I won't pretend to be able to identify the underlying philosophy here, but I will point out that even dumb people have figured out that using 9/11 in ads is a bad idea. The takeaway: Give all your dollars to me. Below, the full ad from the Brasilmofascist menace:

Prodigy, the Mobb Deep rapper currently taking advantage of his incarceration to hone his blogging skills, is concerned about quite a few things: ritualistic murders, the 9/11 conspiracy, secret societies, missing children, and "NATURAL ENERGY LINES THAT CRISS-CROSS THE ENTIRE PLANET." How do these things all tie together? Allow Prodigy explain at length [Vibe], like a man with plenty of time to type and type and type and go crazier and crazier and crazier:

Buzzword watch: "bloody shirt." It means 9/11 and it's shameful when a Democrat brings it up. Because only Republicans are supposed to! The term, which refers to invoking martyrs to stave off criticism, dates back to the Civil War, and no one has used it since. Until Keith Olbermann tried to shame Hillary Clinton with it and she laughed and laughed and laughed. Now, in today's remarkable New York Times un-dorsement of Hillary Clinton: "On the eve of this crucial primary, Mrs. Clinton became the first Democratic candidate to wave the bloody shirt of 9/11." So: "bloody shirt." Try it out this week on a friend or co-worker!

You'd think at some point, in a creative review meeting, some advertising exec would stand up and say, "Maybe the 9-11 picture's not such a good idea." Such a simple sentence. But no! The latest example of incorporating a nationally traumatic terrorist mass murder into an ad: this spot for SABC Radio [via AdScam], with the tagline "There's More To See On Radio." Such as the Twin Towers burning. So hey, listen to the radio! Click through for a larger image, and pictures of the five worst 9-11 ads we've covered in the past:

Oh boy! Here come the 9/11 Comedies, according to Politico! Hollywood is finally catching up with the internet. And al-Qaeda. Though their "Sept. 11 comedies" are Harold and Kumar Go to Guantanamo Bay, which is not really about 9/11, and some John Cusack Halliburton satire, which is about Iraq, and Zombie Strippers, which is self-explanatory. Oh, there is one genuine 9/11 comedy coming, though. It is directed by Uwe Boll, it will basically be a travesty. The Soup Nazi plays Osama bin Laden. But every Uwe Boll film is a travesty, be it about 9/11 or vampires in the old west. Also it's been out for a year, except no one will release it. The year-old SHOCKING OPENING SCENE is after the jump, because if we can't laugh at ourselves, what have we got left?

The Executive Directory of the Port Authority—the nebulous but reliably corrupt and incompetently managed organization that owns all New York's airports and the WTC site, soon to be home of the Target Presents 9/11 Memorial Office Park and Citibank Playground at Ground Zero—resigned this morning. Anthony Shorris, appointed by hooker-lovin' ex-guv Eliot Spitzer last year, "told his staff that he has advanced every goal he tried to set for the agency—including growth at the ports, upgrades to the PATH commuter rail system and buying a fourth airport for the region." He advanced them all from "daydreams" to "fantasies." He was forced out because current adulterous New York Governor David Paterson is replacing everyone Spitzer appointed, and also because of 9/11. [NYT]

This time, this time, we've really found the craziest Internet crackpot. One minute into this slideshow of photos of the World Trade Center, images of the towers smoking on 9/11 pops up. But the smooth jazz playing over the whole video keeps going. Two hastily consulted New York Gawker writers were split on whether this terrible editing decision was horrifically-funny-awful or just plain awful-awful. And then we saw the user's second, altogether more bizarre (and thankfully disaster-photo-free) video.

Quel âne. Marion Cotillard has come under entirely predictable criticism for her moronic claim that the attacks of September 2001 might have been a conspiracy by property developers who couldn't be bothered to repair the cabling on the Twin Towers. The Oscar-winning French actress should have tried contrition, a dash of naivete, with the breathless delivery that won over the audience during last weekend's Academy Awards telecast. Instead: petulance about as charming as France's enduring resentment of those countries that liberated them twice in the last century.

One lesson that you, not being an advertising professional, might think would have sunk in by now: Don't use 9/11 as an advertising tool. Not even for a good cause, like this anti-tobacco ad. It's just skeevy. But the imagery is so powerful! Still no. [Daily Dish]

Who can forget the day two falafel balls crashed into the two cheeseburgers? Starting with the gunning down of matzoh crackers by a German sausage, this edible reconstruction of war history since World War II is sacrilicious. The clip is below.

Spanish newspaper El Pais has a sweet idea for how to influence people to read the newspaper: digitally altered pictures of the World Trade Center tragedy! See, if you read El Pais, you'd know that some details have been changed in the photo of this horrible disaster [Copyranter]. Is that really the correct model of plane about to crash into the building, leaving us all scarred for life? Subscribing to El Pais would help you answer that. It's like the terrorist version of the "Spot Five Difference In These Pictures" thing on the comics page. How many differences can YOU pick out? Good, clean, tragic fun. Larger version of the ad, and the educational changes revealed, after the jump.

So sure, Willie Nelson just told a radio station in Palm Beach Florida that he "can't go along with" the idea of airplanes taking down the World Trade Center towers on Sept. 11, 2001, and that the fall of the buildings was too "symmetrical" and looked just like this implosion he saw of a building in Las Vegas this one time when he was sober. Maybe 9/11 denial seems like a particularly insane and counterfactual conspiracy theory for a crooner like Nelson. But, hey, don't forget how the government took almost all his possessions for back taxes in 1990, and then they took his marijuana and 'shrooms 17 months ago even though he could have lost his professional musicians' license for not getting high on that stuff on his tour bus. Also, he already warned us he would turn out this way, though song lyrics, presented along with audio of Nelson's rant after the jump.

Wait, how did we miss this Sundance pick? It's called August. It's about a the wild life of a would-be Silicon Alley dot-com entrepreneur—in 2001! In August of 2001! The Times description makes it sound positively irresistible:

The people who, despite claims to the contrary, are currently not actually looking for terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden now include Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf and documentarian Morgan Spurlock. Musharraf is just sick of looking. Spurlock gave up once he had enough material to create Sundance buzz around his new movie, Where in the World Is Osama Bin Laden? Spurlock went to Pakistan to find bin Laden but turned back after reaching "a sign at the border of Pakistan's hostile tribal areas warning of the strict prohibition against foreigners in their lands." Turns out it's harder than you thought, Hamburger boy! Someone owes the president an apology. [NYT]

Brooklyn-born Jose Padilla was arrested on suspicion of terrorism-liking in May of 2002. We tortured him for three years in a South Carolina brig, without charging him with anything, until people starting getting kind of upset about that whole mess and the Government sent him to Miami to be tried for some boring old counts of conspiracy. He's been sentenced to 17 years in prison, a tad short of the life sentence the government sought for Padilla's signing his name on a piece of paper that someone wrote "al-Qaeda" on or whatever the fuck he actually did. Anyway, one liberal pet cause down, now we can all refocus on freeing Mumia from Gitmo. [AP]

Monday night on Fox's breakout hit show Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Sarah and her teenage son traveled forward through time from the late 1990s to the present day. Naturally, they had to have the events of 9/11 explained to them. By a shirtless Latino gang member. It looked like this. Treasure this gif and use it wisely. [Max Silvestri]