Former child star Abigail Breslin, who is now 18 and still here guys!! released a music video this week insulting one of the 5 Seconds of Summer guys, angering the all-powerful Teen Twitter with her off-brand-Taylor-Swift opus.

You didn't think it possibly could be, but they've begun casting and there is some bad news. Also today: Get ready for a Coastguard adventure, a Nicole Richie wonderment, and a bachelorette party show that's sure to stun.

The blood of a thousand PR assistants runs through the streets after a frightful error leaves Wintour in the cold. Elin debates attending Tiger's press conference. Gabourey Sibide is so over Vanity Fair's all-white Young Hollywood issue. Thursday gossip ahoy!

That's right, Lifetime did the unthinkable and showed 10 of the 11 remaining designers collections in Bryant Park today. So, who is going to actually be a real finalist and who is going to win? Let's figure it out.

Sure, sure, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince raked in a gazillion dollars this weekend. But who are these people who went to Ice Age? Our guess: creationist parents who wanted their kids to watch a nature documentary.

• Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick took home their adopted twin daughters, Marion and Tabitha, last week. Now they've released a photo of the whole family. Cute! And a nice palate cleanser after all the sordid Michael Jackson news the past few days, no? [People]
• Speaking of grim details from the Jackson case, here's what you may have missed over the last day or so: The doctor at Jackson's house couldn't call 911 for more than half an hour because he couldn't find a working phone (Jackson disconnected them for "privacy reasons); drugs, insiders says, were most likely the cause of death (duh); and Jackson's last will, which dates back to 2002, provided for his kids and mom, but cut his father out completely. [TMZ]

Adrien Brody turns 36 today. Makeup queen Bobbi Brown is 52. Sarah Michelle Gellar is turning 32. Disgraced baseball great Pete Rose is 68. Everybody Loves Raymond's Brad Garrett is turning 49. Abigail Breslin is turning 13. Actress Julie Christie is 68. Anthony Michael Hall of Weird Science and Breakfast Club fame is 41. Shawntae Harris, the rapper better known as Da Brat, turns 35. And country music legend Loretta Lynn celebrates her 74th birthday today.

1) On Saturday night, Gwyneth Paltrow co-hosted "The Mane Event" to benefit Amaryllis Farm Equine Rescue with photographer Steven Klein at his West Kill Farm in Bridgehampton. Arden Wohl, Kiera Chaplin, Kelly Klein, Patrick McMullan, Sale Johnson, and Rory Tahari all made appearances, but hotly anticipated guest Madonna was a no show. [NYO/PMc]

Actors love to brag about the huge, painful physical transformations they under take to get into character. Whether it's Tom Hanks starving himself for Cast Away or Renee Zellwegger making the ultimate sacrifice of eating food to star in Bridget Jones Diary, your favorite stars will do whatever it takes to impress Oscar voters. That is, except for Abigail Breslin. The iPod touch loving, anti-Fanning first showcased her laziness when she donned a fat suit to play a chubby child beauty pageant contestant in Little Miss Sunshine. Sure, she's pre-pubescent and forcing a weight gain could have done some serious damage to her still-growing body, but a serious actress wouldn't have minded. The fact that her work was Oscar-nominee worthy must be considered a fluke. Real actors alter their bodies. All Breslin did was, ahem, act.

· Has anyone seen Abigail Breslin's iPod Touch? The fate of the dancing-around -in-front -of-the- mirror- to-David Cook future depends upon it! [Tonight Show]
· Mike Myers admitted he developed a "man-crush" on Speedo-rocking Justin Timberlake while shooting The Love Guru. We've had a lot of "man-crushes" too in our time, Mike, and we find the best way to handle them is to have "man-sex" with the object of your "man-desires." [Us Magazine]
· The only thing crazier than the fact that Prince just turned 50 is the fact that Dr. Phil scored an invitation to his birthday party. No, Prince. Just. No. [ET Online]
·Tony Romo says rumors Joe Simpson sits at the end of his bed offering subtle directing tips for making camera-friendly love to his daughter are totally "laughable.” [People]
· Remember when Juno was attacked by an Alien facesucker? Well she finally had the baby, and it's soooo cuuuuute!!! [dreadwhimsy.blogspot.com]

The universe is piling on Warner Bros. today, with the studio bracing itself for its second straight summer misfire while the output from its recently euthanized offshoots New Line and Picturehouse achieved phenomenal successes in consecutive weeks. But NL's opening windfall for Sex and the City and Picturehouse's $27K-per-screen average last weekend for Mongol — the biggest art-house launch of the year to date — might not have anything on the 'House's toy-based, girly-girl follow-up, reports The NY Times:

Unless you're a fan of both mixed martial arts and directors who employ frenetic quick cuts as a means to hide razor-thin plots, you've probably never heard of Sean Faris, the 28-year-old star of this spring's Never Back Down. Seems as if Sean is conscious of this fact and, like any other enterprising young actor trying to make a name in Hollywood, he's actively taking steps to change that. You know, get out on the town, do a little presenter work at the Young Hollywood Awards, network a little. However, all of his good intentions went astray at the end of the evening when he made the all too common mistake on hitting on one of the other presenters. Usually, this would be a "no harm / no foul" kind of situation; however, in this instance, the presenter he was hitting on was 12-year-old Abigail Breslin and the incident was captured by the all-seeing, all-knowing eye of Harvey Levin.

Little Miss Sunshine herself, Abigail Breslin, made a pledge in a ceremony yesterday afternoon that she will not become another Lindsay Lohan, nor will she write and perform weird poems like Leelee Sobieski. She also explained that she would avoid getting Gary Busey-esque caps on her teeth like Hannah Montana, and that she would do her best to avoid becoming whatever Tatum O'Neal became. Breslin then promised that she'd at least try to make the successful transition from child actor to adulthood like Jodie Foster, but was overheard admitting to close friends afterwards that there's a good chance that she could become the next Kristy McNichol.

· Enjoy Blue Reed, Abigail Breslin's cat, while you can. We have a feeling he's going to go mysteriously missing very soon, the only clue to his whereabouts a note in what seems to be Dakota Fanning's handwriting reading, "Stop!"
· Rainn Wilson's ass to steal the show at the Spirit Awards.
·Scarlett Johansson does Tom Waits.
· It was all but inevitable: Ice Road Truckers is going to be adapted into a feature, probably to star The Rock as the slip-sliding-big-rig-drivingest badass the Canadian tundra has ever seen

It may already be too late to save Little Miss Sunshine's Abigail Breslin from a regrettable Fanningization by the Hollywood machine: "'The greatest thing about Abigail is that she takes direction,' the hunky actor [Aaron Eckhart], who plays a lovable chef, told us. 'She's so smart. She understands the whole script thematically. Most child actors can't do that. They just recite lines their parents recite with them in the hotel room.'" [Rush & Molloy, 2nd item]

Positing that the public might be growing tired of the Lohan/Hilton/Spears class of troubled starlet and that the industry is ready to pump out a more wholesome, less frequently rehabbed product to capture the tween entertainment dollar, the LAT looks at the "new wave" of Hollywood good girls, including Nancy Drew's Emma "Aunt Julia Would Produce My Movies Even If We Weren't Related" Roberts, Nim's Island's Abigail Breslin, and the Charlize Theron-approved AnnaSophia Robb. The article's true focus is the impeccably pedigreed, terrifyingly ambitious Roberts, who's so precocious she's already bored with the whole imminent movie stardom thing:

· Gerard Butler, still red-hot following his career-making, washboard-ab-spotlighting turn in 300, will join Jodie Foster and Abigail "Im in Dakota's career, steelin her rolez" Breslin in the family adventure film Nim's Island, based on the popular children's book. [Variety]
· Out-of-work and aspiring comedy writers, it might finally be time to pull the ripcord and float to the safety of law school: the networks ordered precious few comedies for the new season, are terrified of the expense of still-faddish single-camera shows, and want to squeeze the life out of established sitcoms for fear of a writers strike. Get out while your LSAT scores are still valid. [THR]
· MGM is dangerously close to getting into the Rob Schneider business. [Variety]
· ABC declined to pick up their Mr & Mrs Smith adaptation, triggering a contractual option that will allow studio Regency TV to start shopping the Alphabet's sloppy pilot seconds to other networks. [THR]
· Mexican filmmaking BFFs Alfonso Cuaron, Guillermo del Toro, and Alejandro Gonzales Inarritu have signed on to do five movies with Universal and Focus Features, establishing a production company called (really) cha cha cha. [Variety]

· Former child actor Jodie Foster and current preteen It-Girl Abigail Breslin near deals to star in Nim's Island for Walden Media, where they will share touching moments on the set discussing the normal, healthy childhoods they could have had if they hadn't answered Hollywood's innocence-stealing siren call. [Variety]
· Feeling that online sweepstakes Gold Rush's trivia questions were too mentally taxing on contestants, AOL plans to just give away a million dollars to a lucky schmuck in its Million Dollar Bill program. [THR]
· Cavemen CastingWatch: Dash Mihok signs on to play the part of Geico-branded Neanderthal "Jamie"; that we couldn't pick him out of a lineup seems unimportant considering he'll be rendered unrecognizable by Cro Magnon prosthetics. [Variety]
· Susan Sarandon and John Goodman are in negotiations to play Emile Hirsch's parents in Speed Racer, the Wachowski Brothers adaptation of the classic anime series we're having a really hard time caring about. [THR]
· The LAT's parent Tribune company accepts a $8.2 billion bid by Chicago real estate mogul Sam Zell, unless Imagine superproducer Brian Grazer suddenly emerges to somehow spoil the deal. [Variety]

For those of you held captive by Sunday evening's Oscars telecast—either by having some financial stake in the proceedings or by simply feeling the inexplicable call to duty to weather every snore-inducing montage ("Here's one for America! Here's one for not-America! Here's one for NAFTA!") the ceremony had to offer—the commercials offered some creative respite. Sure, a 30-second close-up of a Marie Callender chicken pot pie wasn't going to salvage your evening, but you never knew when Wes Anderson might stroll along to confound your expectations of what an AmEx commercial could be, or one of those iPhone "Hello" ads might pop-up, which, while not necessarily groundbreaking, at least remained refreshingly Justin Long-free. According to AdWeek, not just any company willing to shell out the record prices of $1.7 mil per 30-second spot are allowed to advertise on the Oscars; the Academy has some strict guidelines about what is considered appropriate material to immediately precede Ellen DeGeneres's "vacuuming and tossing of a joint into the orchestra" bit:

One of the last things we saw before we collapsed head-first into our laptop mere moments after the final credits rolled on the Oscar telecast was this press release from Access Hollywood, concerning the virtue-protecting jinx eventual Best Supporting Actor usurper Alan Arkin put on precocious co-star Abigail Breslin: