Officials say the 30 people missing following a fiery train derailment in Quebec on Sunday are presumed dead, which puts the death toll at 50. The engineer behind the crash has been suspended and is under "police control."

A groundskeeper at Sandringham House, a private residence in Norfolk where the royal family gathers every year for the most regimented Christmas fun one could ever imagine, remains in critical condition after falling off a riding lawnmower and becoming submerged in a small lake on the property on Monday.

An accidental fireworks explosion in Simi Valley, California sent 20 people to the hospital and injured eight more, leading a bomb squad to removed the leftover fireworks.

When a six-year-old boy in Alaska climbed onto the roof of his parents' van as it sat in their driveway, he probably wasn't expecting to take a ride along a highway while still atop the van. Unfortunately, for the boy and his parents, that's just what happened, and the boy fell from the van's roof after three miles.

A building inspector in Philadelphia committed suicide a week after a downtown building collapsed, just a short time after he had examined it. The accident killed six people. The inspector's body was discovered with a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his chest on Wednesday. Ronald Wagenhoffer was 52.

From the 21-year-old drinking age to the .08% blood alcohol level now recognized nationwide as evidence of being drunk, the threat of losing federal highway funds has kept America's states from straying on booze laws. So get ready for the .05% drunken driving conviction.

Guns don't kill people—no, they do. One did this past Saturday, in the 26,000-person town of Lebanon, Tennessee, when it was left loaded on a bed, within grabbing distance of a toddler.

Early Tuesday evening, a teenager celebrating his 18th birthday was hit and killed by subway train on Manhattan's Upper West Side as he and his two friends attempted to cross the tracks. One friend made it across while the other still hadn't left the other platform. According to the New York Daily News, both surviving teens saw the train hit their friend, their knees buckling at the sight.

For reasons that remain unclear, an elderly man in North Georgia decided to stand (instead of, you know, sitting) on the rim of an outdoor toilet at Carters Lake, which is managed by the U.S. Corps of Engineers. As a result, he fell inside the toilet, into a five-foot deep, shit-filled area beneath the facility.

A private jet crashed Sunday evening through three homes in a neighborhood near an airport in South Bend, Indiana. Two of the plane's four passengers reportedly died in the crash, according to an FAA spokesman.

Traffic piled up outside of Reno, Nevada early Thursday afternoon after a tractor trailer carrying over 42,000 pounds of ketchup crashed, spilling the condiment across a highway. The accident occurred after the truck swerved to avoid a car, causing it to veer into a light pole and then into the underpass of a bridge, ripping open the cargo area. There were no injuries, though; just literally tons of ketchup.

Three people were killed in a helicopter crash early Sunday morning in northern Los Angeles County. The crash occurred during filming for an untitled military-themed reality TV show set to air on the Discovery Channel.

In what would have made for a compelling multi-episode arc on season 5 of America's Next Top Model, former Top Model contestant Lisa D'Amato broke her nose in several places and shredded her forehead, lips, and chin to ribbons in what she calls "a freak accident" earlier this month. (Warning: the photos below are graphic and NSFW.)

Bobbi Kristina Brown just totaled her Camaro, but it doesn't seem that drugs or booze were a factor so that's amazing.

Has America's fleet of deadly Predator drones been infected by some sort of anti-imperialist poltergeist force? That seems to be the only logical conclusion from today's Washington Post story (the last in an excellent series on America's "Secret War") about the activities and happenings at the US drone base in Djibouti. There's this:

Proving that your worst doctor experience probably isn't so bad after all, Army veteran Michael Nash is suing the federal government for $10 million after a Veterans Administration nurse allegedly left ice packs his penis for too long, causing frostbite and, eventually, partial dick amputation.

Red Bull may give you wings, but it does not give you immunity.

Do not stick your head out of a party bus. You will not feel infinite, and you might die.

A 100-year-old driver plowed into a crowd outside an elementary school, giving other 100-year-old drivers a bad name.

Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise (is it sans the Cruise yet? Who can know?) were hit by a steaming, simmering New York City-summer pile of garbage yesterday as they were leaving Chelsea Piers after a day of more mandatory normalcy.