Throwaway husband Kris Humphries goes into the jewelry business. Michael Bublé calls Kim Kardashian a "bitch." Leonardo DiCaprio turns 37. Kristen Stewart on her Twilight premiere dress: "Well, it's purple and it's a gown." Tuesday gossip is addicted to fame.
The Montag-Pratts formally end their divorce charade. Heidi Klum quits Victoria's Secret. Lindsay Lohan wears fancy outfits at rehab. Charlie Sheen's daughter has a Twilight-themed wedding. TGIFriday gossip.
• The feud between Al Roker and America's most despicable couple continues. After the Today show canceled an interview with Spencer and Heidi Pratt, Spencer took to Twitter to air his rage: "I thought you were out of town getting your stomache [sic] staped [sic] again... Do you always look like your [sic] about to die?" One thing that's clear here: Spencer should have paid more attention in English class. [Us]
• Brat Packer Anthony Michael Hall—who is about to kick off a guest stint on NBC's Community—has been ordered to stay away from his ex, Diana Falzone, a "relationship expert" who writes for the Huffington Post and hosts a show on Sirius. Falzone was granted a restraining order after Hall allegedly broke down her door last week and "bashed her head against a wall." [P6]
• Nicole Richie and Joel Madden secured a restraining order against two paparazzi who Richie says have been harassing her. Is it just us, or are restraining orders becoming all the rage? [TMZ]
• MTV has premiered Beyoncé's new video for "Video Phone" featuring a special guest appearance by Lady Gaga. In a surprising twist, it's Lady Gaga who looks fairly normal and Beyoncé who looks a little freaky. [MTV, NYP]
• Madonna reveals all sorts of juicy, personal stuff in an interview in the November issue of Rolling Stone. Like how she really wanted to work with Eminem, but he turned her down (ouch); how her graffiti tag name back in the '80s was "Boy Toy" (how ironic!); and how she was a total geek in high school, just like every other celeb in the universe. [P6, NYDN]
• Penelope Cruz is making a cameo in the Sex & the City sequel. Get ready to suspend belief: She'll be playing the role of a banker. [People]
• Emanuel Ungaro "creative consultant" Lindsay Lohan is blaming the epic disaster that was her recent fashion show in Paris on "coming in so late and having not that much time to do a whole collection." She also says she's still "learning" and that the negative press isn't going to stop her from returning to Paris in a few months to give it another shot. You go, girl! [People]
• Because he's a romantic at heart, Alex Rodriguez flew to Miami for a single night to take Kate Hudson to dinner. Oh, yea, and to see his kids, too. [P6]
Blow a kiss in Adriana Lima's direction. The supermodel turns 28 today. Others celebrating: Yankees star Hideki Matsui is turning 35. Deputy mayor Kevin Sheekey is turning 43. David Rockefeller is 94. Sports Marv Albert is turning 68. Real estate broker Michele Kleier is 66. Hunter College president Jennifer Raab turns 53. Kendra Wilkinson is turning 24. And George H. W. Bush celebrates his 85th birthday today. Weekend birthdays—including those of the Olsen twins and Donald Trump—after the jump.
• Despite the fact his dad says they're planning a Kabbalah commitment ceremony and he's currently shacking up at her apartment, Jesus Luz tells a Brazilian TV station that Madonna is "just a friend." Also: He really doesn't mind it if you refer to him as her "boy toy." [NYDN]
• Kiefer Sutherland has apologized to Jack McCollough for head-butting him, and charges against the actor are likely to be dropped. Not that he's learned much of a lesson: He was spotted boozing it up on the LES with his daughter in tow last week. [NYP, P6]
• The celebrity crime wave continues: Kevin Bacon had his BlackBerry stolen from him last week. And Monica Bellucci and husband Vincent Cassel had more than a quarter of a million dollars in cash and jewels taken from them while they were attending the Cannes Film Festival. [NYP, DM]
• Mel Gibson has confirmed that he and his Russian musician girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, are expecting. [People, NYDN]
• Mariah Carey spent Memorial Day in Turkey. Why Turkey? Because a hotel paid her $1.5 million to perform, that's why. [P6]
• Are Americans finally shopping again? Maybe. Retail sales were up slightly in April. [NYT]
• Gucci has filed a trademark infringement lawsuit against Guess? Inc. [BN]
• Alessandra Stanley's Times review of Bravo's Project Runway-ripoff, The Fashion Show, featuring Isaac Mizrahi, Kelly Rowland and Fern Mallis, wasn't especially favorable. [NYT]
• Agy Deyn is now pitching bottled water. [Sun]
• Leigh Lezark is the new face of Mango. [Nylon]
• Michelle Obama wore Michael Kors—not Alaïa—to the Time gala the other night. [FWD]
• If you've ever wished you could meet Adriana Lima dressed up as "a modern-day Cleopatra," you'll get your chance this Saturday. [NYM]
• Mayor Bloomberg has pronounced it "Sparkle Week" in NYC as part of an effort to give a boost to the jewelry industry. They sure could use the help: Retailers in the Diamond District report that sales have dropped by more than 50 percent over the past year. [NYM, Crain's]
• Jil Sander's new Madison Avenue store has opened its doors. [Racked]
• Lauren Hutton was injured while surfing a couple of weeks ago, but she's still hoping to make it to the Costume Institute ball. [NYM]
• Is Chloe Sevigny single-handedly trying to bring back the sandals-and-socks look, or was the combo of sun and booze at Coachella to blame? [Frisky, JJ]
• Andre Balazs and Sharon Stone were seen cuddling on a couch "all night" at the Oscar party at Guy Oseary's home on Sunday, and looked like they "couldn't have been more into each other." We're beginning to sense a pattern here, how about you? [NYDN]
• Newlyweds Tommy Hilfiger and Dee Ocleppo are expecting a baby. [P6]
• Jeremy Piven will make his case in front of an Actors' Equity panel tomorrow and offer proof it was mercury poisoning that forced him to drop out of Speed-the-Plow. Good luck with that. [NYP]
• Warren Beatty supposedly wants Lindsay Lohan to star in his new movie, but only if she moves in with him and Annette Bening during filming. [Fox411]
• Chris Brown has started taking anger management classes. He's also had to hire bodyguards because he says he now fears for his safety. [NYDN, InTouch]
• Get the welcome wagon ready: Jennifer Aniston may be moving to New York soon, both to be closer to John Mayer and because she's filming her next two movies here. [Fox 411]
• A bunch of people who attended Madonna, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher's Oscars party at Guy Oseary's house ended up leaving early and heading over to the more popular Vanity Fair bash instead. Kate Winslet screamed "Wooo!" at everyone who congratulated her (and later tripped down a small set of steps), a tipsy Natalie Portman flirted with Twilight's Robert Pattinson, and Mick Jagger chatted up every woman that came within two feet of him. [P6, NYDN, E!, Mirror]
• Madonna looked conspicuously wrinkle-free while squiring Jesus Luz around LA last weekend and eventually ran into Sean Penn on Sunday night. After congratulating him on his Oscar win, he pointed in Luz's direction and replied, "Thanks. Another kid already?" [NYDN, DS, Sun]
• Nicky Hilton placed a homeless man under "citizen's arrest" after he pushed her on to the ground outside an IHOP. Seriously. [Us]
Not that Padma Lakshmi needed any help in ensnaring her next billionaire boyfriend, but this can't hurt: Indian models are apparently the next big thing in the modeling world, an industry that is finally recognizing "their potential and versatility in selling high fashion," reports ABC News. Willowy Brazilians Gisele Bundchen and Adriana Lima? They're so five minutes ago as advertisers and editors book new faces from the subcontinent like September Harper's Bazaar cover girl Kangana Dutta and Ford model Lakshmi Menon, who's been in recent campaigns for Hermes and Givenchy.
♦ Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Karolina Kurkova were just a few of the models who took to the stage in Miami this weekend for the Victoria's Secret show where the company unveiled its latest publicity stunt at the celeb-packed event, the $5 million Black Diamond Fantasy Miracle Bra by jeweler Martin Katz. [Vogue UK, E!, ABC]
♦ Prada is gamely adapting to the economy by launching a new line of purses that are all—gasp—under $1,000. [Nylon]
♦ As if today's tiny fashion victims don't have enough to choose from, Jean Paul Gaultier has inked a licensing deal to make children's clothes. [WWD]
♦ Vanity Fair's fashion department tried to go on a $150,000 shopping spree à la Sarah Palin and discovered it's actually kind of hard to blow that kind of cash. [VF]
Adriana Lima leaving the set of CW11's Morning Show ... Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson shopping at the Chanel store in SoHo and then having lunch at Bar Pitti a few hours later ... Naomi Watts and a friend shopping with Watts' son, Alexander, in tow ... Kirsten Dunst shopping with a friend in SoHo ... British actor Simon Pegg leaving his hotel ... America's Next Top Model winner Whitney Thompson on the set of a photo shoot in the West Village ... Sheryl Crow, son Wyatt, and the nanny walking home from a shopping excursion in SoHo ... America Ferrera posing with Blake Lively at the premiere of their new movie, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 ... Mary Louise Parker and Richard Simmons leaving The Late Show set.
