Join us in bowing down before the goods and services offered by this week's sponsors, which capably fill the hole in our heart where love is supposed to go. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and capture the hearts and minds of our incredible wealthy and sexy readership, see this page.

A warm round of applause for this week's advertisers, and no cat-calls, please:

Lots of drunken hookups for this week's sponsors, who don't need any special pick-up strategies to win our hearts. Want to help join our manufactured conclusions? There's info here.

Friday means saying "thank you" to the people who give us money.

Please pretend not be incredibly aroused as we apply scented oils to the tense muscles of this week's sponsors and begin a vigorous rubdown. They deserve some pampering without the prurient gawking, OK? If you'd like to have your product or services lovingly displayed on Defamer and reach the world's most fiscally promiscuous readers, see this page.

It's time to express our undying love for this week's sponsors, whom we believe are all equally deserving of recognition in the category of Best Supporting Advertisers. If you'd like to throw on a tux and join us in our weekly kudofest, see this page.

Perfect sixes for this week's sponsors, whose dedication and support helps outfit us in swan unitards named Camille. Want to join our Olympian — if not quite Olympic — team? There's info here.

Because as far as we're concerned there's no better way to celebrate the spirit of Valentine's Day than by remembering everything that makes us hate the idea of romance — and also because a sponsor is paying us to do so — we're very proud to present a Valentine's Date Worst Date Contest. Brought to you by the star-crossed folks behind Date Movie, for people who love date movies and people who hate them, the Worst Day contest wins promises a dinner at Balthazar for the Gawker reader with the very worst bad-date tale.

We love this week's sponsors and we don't care who knows it, even if our publicist thinks just being true to ourselves is career suicide. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and cause millions of people to spontaneously mail you wads of cash, see this page.

A thousand thank yous to our first-week advertiser, whose massage ad turned us on and whose golf game kept us from getting our last nightly posts in on time.

Take a moment in bask in the reflected glow of the love showered upon by this week's sponsors, who never roll over and steal or blankets, no matter how cold the February evening chill. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and join the love-in, see this page.

Once again, it's time to celebrate this week's sponsors, who make us far more aroused than any bulldozer (no matter how gleaming and ready for action) could. If you'd like to advertiser on Defamer and harness the power of Hollywood's sexiest consumers, see this page.

As the eyes of the world turn to tiny Park City to find the next independent filmmaking voices of our generation, only to have over-eager studio execs throw millions at them, instantly turning them into Hollywood asswads you want to completely avoid, the real talent has always been right here, friends, with Defamer advertisers. Take a moment to appreciate their non-flash-in-the-pan, dependably consistent status. And if you would like to join their illustrious ranks, simply go here for more information.

Free cigarettes for this week's sponsors, who help us buy loosies when we're not finding free packs on the street. Care to huddle around an ashtray with us? There's info here.

It's time once again to publicly high-five this week's sponsors, who would never callously leave us to knock up a hotter, better actress dying to have our babies. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and announce your plans for world domination through the incredible success of your products, see this page.

Join us in firmly, but gently, grasping the feet of this week's sponsors and applying soothing pressure to their barking dogs. Without them, we'd be offering sessions with our magic hands for five bucks an hour at some sleazy "spa" on Hollywood Boulevard. If you'd like to advertise on Defamer and tempt our spend-thirsty readers with your sexy products or services, see this page.

We can't smile without our sponsors, who this week keep us swimming happily in Barry Manilow lyrics. Want to join the hottest blog north of Havana? There's info here.

Stare closely for a moment at the list below. What do these seemingly random things have in common? Oh, you are so cute why yes, they are all singularly cool, fascinating, desirable and pleasant smelling. But they are also Defamer advertisers, and for that, we give them our deepest gratitude. Oooh...they make us feel brand new...If you'd like to make us feel brand new, too, everything you need to know is right here.

In the most boringest week of the year, when nearly all our old friends — readers, news, Coen and Oxfeld — abandoned us, it's nice to know that the sponsors cared enough to stick around. We do believe we love them. Want to share in our friendship? There's info here.

This holiday season, we wish each and every one of you health, happiness, and peace on earth, all of which is virtually impossible to achieve without the miracle goods and services of your Defamer sponsors. And if you are interesting in advertising your wares on Defamer, there's more information here.