Eduardo Tlatempa, a 48 year-old baggage handler who worked for United Airlines at Dulles airport, was unloading a plane last Friday when, the Washington Post reports, "he missed his step onto a scissor lift and fell 10 to 20 feet to the concrete." This was...hilarious?

Are you worried about those airport security scans of your penis and vagina making it onto the Internet? First of all, don't flatter yourself. But just in case, the Senate voted 98-0 today in favor of an amendment "that would punish anyone who misuses images from full-body security scanners at airports with a $100,000 fine or a year in prison." How hot would a person need to be to make these penalties "worth it"? A 5.5 on the 1-10 scale, or lower?

[Famous actor Brad Pitt goes through LAX security. Image via Bauer Griffin]

[Singer Janet Jackson goes through airport security at LAX. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

A JetBlue flight from JFK to Pittsburgh was grounded yesterday because the pilot lost his bag containing his TSA-issued firearm. Turns out a passenger on another flight picked it up by mistake. Steven Slater never would have done that.

On tonight's Late Show, Brian Williams stopped by to chat with David Letterman about his holiday vacation. What did we learn? Williams' junk was felt up—multiple times!—by the TSA. Also: Williams never ceases to be hilarious. Watch inside.

Both JFK and Newark airports are closed thanks to the storm. Hope your parents have cable!

As stated in his brief local news interview, this little boy has been waiting for Christmas for too long. He's a sweet kid, but none too bright when it comes to running into strollers.

[Thousands of people are camped out in European airports like London's Heathrow because of the giant snowstorm that's crippling travel in the region. Image via Getty]

Newark airport is "all clear" after a false explosives scare shut it down this morning. Happy holiday travel season!

A prankster hacked a giant television screen in a Bangladeshi airport and made it play a five-minute porn clip. "Hundreds of travellers and waiting friends and relatives at the main terminal of the Shahjalal International Airport were shocked." Very nice.

Rap duo/trio Das Racist was detained at the UK's Gatwick airport yesterday and eventually deported to Switzerland. The exact reasons for the deportation are unclear, but the group says on their website it had to do with their "political views."

Contents of a disgusting suitcase confiscated at D.C.'s Dulles airport: Elephant tails, dried chameleons, bloody sheets, chicken blood, dirt, feathers, and a dried hedgehog. The man carrying the suitcase said it was for "spiritual purposes." [Examiner]

Today we talked about drinking on planes and drinking in airports! Yay! Good times for all! Except: Bad times for all, it turns out. Yeah, so said one commenter, some sort of flying expert.

How is the airline industry's plan to save itself by showering passengers in booze coming along? Swimmingly (in booze)! Let's check in on the latest ways you can drunk at inappropriate times in airports across America.

National Opt-Out Day Is A Bust, Says TSA

In our little list about how to breeze through airport security we forgot to include one very important point: Do not punch a TSA officer in the chest, even as a joke. Damn—we're too late.

In order to reach the comforts of the friendly skies, you must first pass through America's famed airport security. Which can be quite an ordeal, at times! Below, ten tips to make your security experience as fun as possible.

The number crunchers at The Daily Beast ranked the country's 27 largest airports, and the three that serve the New York metropolitan area all ranked near the bottom of the list. The worst airport in the country: It's Newark.

Flying over Thanksgiving? Listen to the cautionary tale of blogger "Johnny Edge," who was sent home from the airport after refusing both the TSA nudie x-ray machine and the groin-grabbing "pat-down"—and was threatened with a $10,000 fine.