Did anyone else catch that bizarre noise broadcast in the middle of Kathie Lee and Hoda's show? We had to rewind the TV twice to make sure it wasn't a glitch on our end. Conspiracy theorists: please weigh in!
November 26, 1977 was the day we made contact. The voice of 'Vrillion' of 'Ashtar Galactic Command' took over British television airwaves for a full six minutes.
No indication of the moon wobbling dangerously off its axis, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No huge chunks of the moon breaking off, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No angry aliens rising out of the moon's core in their battle crafts, starting an inexorable descent towards earth. No reason to call out the Army's top secret interstellar fighting force. In contrast to this direct quote from NASA's director of nerd propaganda, yesterday:
True story: tomorrow's my second day not working in 62 days! Take a wild guess what I'll be doing tonight! Meanwhile, if any news breaks, uh, just read the comments in this thread. We'll be back on Sunday.
Edgar Mitchell is one of 12 people to have walked on the moon, so when the former NASA astronaut said in an interview with Britain's Kerrang Radio that he had "been briefed ... in certain committees and certain research programs" about aliens visiting the Earth, the story spread quickly to tabloids, conspiracy theory websites and video-sharing sites like YouTube. But now the story has spread into more legitimate media, and NASA is trying to contain it.
All those crazy-ass H.P. Lovecraft stories are true. We are fracking aliens! "Scientists from the Imperial College of London claim to have found evidence that life on our planet did not originate from Earth itself. For the first time, the scientists say, it is confirmed that an important component of early genetic material found in meteorite fragments is of extraterrestrial origin."
Federal agents secretly removed 67 bodies from a patch of New Mexico desert not terribly far from UFO crash zone Roswell. Clearly these are alien remains, but the Feds insist they are the skeletons of black Civil War soldiers, and needed protection from a crazy historian in an airplane, who is now dead. The Associated Press did not bother to dig for the Truth, which Is Out There. [AP]
Rudy Giuliani has just about proved to America that he had what it took to rid New York of its many unpleasant ethnics and poor people, as the Times explained this weekend. Did you know that everyone in New York was on welfare before Giuliani became mayor? It's true! Every last one of them, except the good people of Staten Island, which is kind of the Iowa of New York. Back in the dark days of the early 1990s, "a New Yorker couldn't walk up Third Avenue without being on the lookout for muggers, of the blocks of dirty book stores and prostitutes, of public urination and pot-smoking." Christ, it sounds heavenly! (Though the public pot-smoking thing is a little west coast for our tastes.) But if there was one man who could be counted on to rid this city of its criminals and perverts, it was that adulterous cross-dressing megalomaniac. And he's gonna do for the rest of America what he did for New York: protect it from aliens.
