A recent online poll asked 30,000 thousand users of social networking site Badoo (so, not Americans basically) to pick the funniest and least funny countries from a list of fifteen, and the good old Red, White & Blue came out on top.

The 2010 U.S. census figures have been released. The big picture, basically, is that men are living longer, marriage is downtrending, and the baby boom population is entering their twilight years.

The owner of the Taste of Philly Cheesesteak and Hoagie Shoppe in Crystal River, Florida (it's where the Crystal Ships are manufactured) has been told she has to stop flying six patriotic flags in front of her place because of a local ordinance limiting people to only three flags. Why does Crystal River hate America?

What does it take to be the happiest man in America? "Friendship," you might say. "Trust." Ha!. The real secret to happiness being a tall, married, business-owning Asian-American Jewish man living in Hawaii. Like Alvin Wong!

Despite having a diet that consists solely of french fries with gravy, weird bacon-ham, and moose brains, Canadians are still significantly less obese ("less obese" is where we're at these days, "skinnier" went out the window long ago) than their neighbors to the south. Namely, us. Yes, a study released today shows that 34% of Americans are obese versus 24% of Canadians. What gives?

Turns out, playing "America, Fuck Yeah!" from Team America: World Police behind the new Captain America trailer makes the world's first avenger look less like a super hero and more like a redneck.

Terry Jones, the Florida pastor who threatened to burn a Koran last 9/11, has been banned from Britain. He was trying to attend a far-right rally but was denied entry because he's awful. Can we ban him from America, too?

Not surprisingly, Snooki's biggest fans also have the worst parents in the world.

In this video, a tiny asshole who's just gotten a Wii and a bunch of other toys for Christmas freaks out when his parents dare to give him a book, a book, as well. This is why we're dumb, folks.

Today, Fox & Friends had a very special guest — a famous Bald Eagle. It's name? Challenger. You can tell they thought a lot about this segment when Steve Doocy asks, "What is it saying with all the eagle talk?"

Today we suggested that everyone just give up on this whole school idea. School will never work! Teachers are rotten! There's no money! Etc. This elicited lots of commenter feedback, with one commenter in particular issuing a simple, earnest plea.

17-year-old Luke Angel, of Bedfordshire, told Britain's Sky News that he has a lifetime ban from America for sending an email to President Obama calling him a pussy and other "abusive and threatening language", after seeing a documentary about 9/11.

War ravaged Iraq has agreed to pay $400 million to a group of Americans who say they were traumatized or tortured during Saddam Hussein's rule after the 1990 invasion of Kuwait. What's so unfair about that? Oh, right.

Despite all the paparazzi-hounding and privacy loss, one-third of surveyed Americans think that being an actor is the ultimate dream job, says a Marist poll. Presumably they mean Movie Star, not struggling regional theater actor. Second dreamiest job? Athlete, naturally.

Eighteen percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim, according to a new poll. The same number of Americans have "had a ghostly experience." America: Where every fifth person is reliably crazy. (For the record, Obama is Hindu.)

Unsatisfied with being belligerent at town hall meetings and creating racist signs, Tea Party activists are swarming on Williamsburg, Virginia this summer to ruin educational family vacations by yelling and asking costumed reenactors how to overthrow the government. Ugh.

We've long feared it, and now the national news media is confirming it. Bedbugs truly are going to be the modern-day plague that o'erwhelms us all. National infestations are growing rapidly and you know who's to blame? The children.

This is pretty amazing: researchers from Harvard and Northeastern universities took more than 300 million tweets over three years and analyzed them to create a graphic (and video) of America's mood at any given time and in any given place.

Long before FOX News and MSNBC began propagating truthiness, Woodrow Wilson created the Committee on Public Information to keep impressionable American minds from straying too far to the left, or even worse, to Kaiser Bill and the Huns.

America's birthday is just days away and in the spirit of patriotism Jimmy Kimmel allows strangers on Hollywood Boulevard to sing their interpretations of the Star Spangled Banner. Evidently, nobody in this Country actually knows the words to this song.