Sad news for Kate Moss-aholics out there: the controversially hot-or-not former supermodel is engaged to another dirty-looking rocker, Jamie Hince, guitarist for The Kills. Judging by her former paramours, like Johnny Depp, Lemonheads frontman Evan Dando and our all-time favorite kitten-loving junkie, Pete Doherty, it's no surprise that W's April cover girl has fallen for another rough-around-the-edges bad boy. But must he look like such an eerie cross-breed of Pete and Amy Winehouse's Romeo, Blake Fielder-Civil? And more importantly, why does Kate insist on slobbering all over his neck? More pictures of the two new lovebirds, and what the notoriously vicious British tabloids have deemed Kate's vampire-like behavior, after the jump.

Everybody's taking their clothes off these days, Radar notes this afternoon. There's that Hills girl Audrina, the Sex and the City priss Kristin Davis (though [NSFW] maybe not), and now Amy Winehouse. The single-toothed (gotta be by now) singer recently posed nude for a British magazine in order to raise young people's awareness about breast cancer. In the photo, she stands holding her guitar (which blocks, um, her wine house) with two pieces of gaffe tape covering her nipples. The image's effect on breast cancer awareness remains to be seen, though we can aver with some assurance that naked druggy English lady awareness will skyrocket, while other things will not be raised at all. Larger image at Radar.

Back in October, the horny boys over at Maxim decided to morph into bitchy girls and rank their picks for the top five "unsexiest" women in Hollywood. And while some of their choices are semi-understandable (no offense to our troubled Britney Spears, but we would've ranked her higher than #5), their number one pick has responded to the listing in a very teary fashion. Sarah Jessica Parker was voted #1; as the struggling lad mag's editors put it, "How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with 'sex' in the title?" But after six months of stewing in her own misery, SJP is fighting back:

• Singer Paul McCartney's ex Heather Mills was awarded $49 million after four years of marriage. The blog Knife Tricks estimates that's $43,000 per screw — way, way more than so-called-high-priced whore Ashley Dupre ever charged. Apparently Mills wanted even more.

• Britney Spears can't have nice things because men will take them from her. Yesterday her dad got permission from a judge to sell off at least some of the singer's cars, and it emerged that former hanger-on Sam Lutfi allegedly intercepted "hundreds of thousands of dollars worth" of jewelry, fur coats and other luxury items intended for Spears.

• Amy Winehouse's dad is trying to steal credit for some of his daughter's problems, but not the drug thing. Just the other ones. He was cheating on Winehouse's mom basically since the singer was born, then moved in with his mistress when she was 10, then married the mistress. Now Amy Winehouse makes songs like "What It Is About Men." [Us]

• Singer Britney Spears reunited with desperate paparazzo Adnan Ghalib, who she had ditched after finding incriminating text chats with another girl on his iPhone. Just prior to taking Ghalib back, Spears was photographed bumping her head, hard. Post hoc ergo propter hoc, as Spears surely likes to say.

What exactly is a star to do when they've run out of things to snort up their much-abused noses? The Nesquik-laced coke trend had some buzz for awhile but quickly got old. Then Keith Richards tried an even more inventive trick by blowing rails constructed from his daddy's ashes. And let's not forget Steve-O, who decided snorting wasabi would make for a grand old time. But the award for most logical next snortable substance of choice must go to Amy Winehouse (surprise!), who recently kickstarted a brand new trend in nose candy parlor games with Kelly Osbourne in London this week. Details on the rules and regulations for a fun little lethal game called Gas Chamber after the jump.

Forget Darfur, Iraq and figuring out that whole peace in the Middle East messiness; the UN is currently most concerned with figuring out why the kiddies love crackheads and drunks like Pete Doherty and Lindsay Lohan so damn much! According to the NY Daily News, a United Nations narcotics committee thinks that "Celebrities are often involved in illicit drug trafficking or in illicit drug use and this is glamorized." Oh the glamour of it all. After all, nothing makes us want to hit the pipe harder than seeing Pete Doherty smoke down with his kitten. And we've never wanted a drink so badly until we saw those positively French Vogue-worthy images of Lindsay double-fisting shots. We have a feeling you'll feel the "glamour" of it all racing through your soon-to-be-poisoned veins after taking a look at our gallery of the best moments in downright gorgeous coke-nosed, passed-out, nodding-off celebrity history:

Sort of! The International Narcotics Board states, in its yearly report, that celebrities should be getting harsher sentences and more appropriate prosecution in general for their myriad drug offenses. Well, duh. In addition to more far-reaching topics like painkiller shortages for the indigent and the opium fields of Afghanistan, the INCB condemns the handling of celebrity drug culture as far too lenient and dangerously misrepresenting the seriousness of druggery to the world's wide-eyed, "cult of celebrity" obsessed youth. The report doesn't actually do anything fun or exciting like name names in particular. (This is probably just because everyone is so sick of typing, seeing, reading, or thinking about defiantly anti-rehab singer Amy Winehouse's name. Sorry.)

From the Disasters Department: Amy Winehouse has impetigo, a flesh-eating disease. OK, not really. But it's very contagious and she needs to be very, very careful lest she get boils all over her body like some sort of Biblical plague. [Showbiz Spy]

• Here is a picture of English musician Pete Doherty bleeding out of one nostril during a concert this week. He blamed his cat. (My cat tries to sell me cocaine all the time, too, but you just have to learn to give a firm and consistent "no, Angel.") [Sun]

• Amy Winehouse may have lasted up to nine days clean of drugs before she called herself a "zombie," burned herself and did "cocaine, ecstasy, cannabis and booze." Of course the sensationalist Sun spins it negative and says she's "back in drug hell," typical. (Check out the sidebar from their "Bizarre Editor.") [Sun]

• Britney Spears' stupid dad took away her stupid booze and set her bedtime at stupid 11 o'clock, but he can't make her keep on her underwear, ha ha! Despite having a Vagina Of Freedom, Spears doesn't get to see her sons, even though K-Fed thinks the toddlers would be a more mature influence on the troubled singer than alleged grown men Sam Lufti and Adnan Ghalib.

[Troubled singer Amy Winehouse walking to her London home yesterday; image via Splash]

• Britney Spears is finally on the right path. Model Heidi Klum made her look a bit more sane by offering to fix all of Spears' problems for her, an offer that of course succeeded only in making Klum look as crazy as Dr. Phil and Courtney Love. Then Spears took another step down the path toward appropriateness and normalcy by going clubbing with her father. Everything was going so well that Spears decided the time was perfect to try on wedding dresses and steal a blouse. She ended up very glad about not wearing a bra.

[Singer Amy Winehouse in London yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Leave it to the ladies of The View to somehow connect the dots between Amy Winehouse, anti-Semitic poets, and something Joy has termed "Restless Arm Syndrome." Following Amy's big night at the Grammys, a spirited debate broke out regarding the age old conundrum of whether or not artists should be publicly lauded if they also happen to be drug addicts. While we are thankful that those questions never get raised about bloggers, Hot Topics such as these are tailor made to bring out the best — and by best, we mean worst — in this Hasselbeck-less stable of bittys.

The highlight of yesterday's lame music awards show: a performance by a singer who wasn't even there, Amy Winehouse, who had been denied a US visa, and was still technically in rehab. Yes, that's how far the Grammys have fallen. [Culture Vulture]

Are you so super-excited for The 50th Annual Grammy Awards tonight? Yeah, us neither really. But we're going to watch anyhow because, like the rest of the world, we are sick sick people. It's important we be able to tell our children we caught every minute of cracky Amy Winehouse's live satellite performance as it happened! We were there for Britney's slurry performance last year and we felt better about ourselves for weeks afterwards. If Winehouse pulls this whole thing off, we're probably going to have start seeing our shrink again.