• Did David Letterman's wife boot him out of the house because he "balked at telling her the complete truth about the female staffers he bedded"? That's what the National Enquirer has been claiming, although his spokesman says it isn't true. So maybe he's just still sleeping on the couch. [NYDN]
• Amy Winehouse is back in the hospital for the 143rd time. It was due to an "adverse reaction" she had to cold medicine. Naturally. [Mirror]
• A brawl at a club in Queens over the weekend led cops to shoot a man who once worked as a bodyguard for Jay-Z, Mariah Carey and Diddy. [NYP]
• Paris Hilton is "declaring war" on the Kardashian sisters because they're more famous than she is these days and they're earning more money, too. Paris has "hatched a plan" to return to her former perch as tabloid queen, however. It entails launching a new hair and beauty line and playing up her "more stable relationship with Doug Reinhardt." [P6]

• Renee Zellweger is going to be spending the holidays with Bradley Cooper's family in Philadelphia. Meanwhile, Bradley Cooper's ex-wife, Jennifer Esposito, is now engaged to Australian tennis player Mark Philippoussis. So everyone's happy, right? Well, except for Jennifer Aniston, that is. [NYDN, People]
• Speaking of happy couples, now that they've supposedly inked their pre-nup, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom went out and inked themselves with each other's initials, too. Marriage after just a couple months, now matching tattoos... what could possibly go wrong? [People]
• Madonna planted a tree to kick off construction of her new girls' school in Malawi. She wore heels. And she looked awkward. [AP]
• At Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner's wedding on Sunday, guests were given a gift bag containing a book in Hebrew and flip-flops with a tag that read "Ivanka and Jared—what a pair." Of course, that's a step up from the wedding invitations which contained a promotional flyer for one of Donald Trump's golf courses. [NYP]

• Brad Pitt lives. Although his motorcycle was rear-ended by a paparazzo's car on Saturday and he lost his balance, neither he nor his bike suffered any damage, although he did get to exchange a few "heated" words with the photographer before leaving the scene. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan's downward spiral continues, not surprisingly. She's been dropped by her record label, Casablanca Records, and there are reports that she isn't even getting paid for her gig as Emanuel Ungaro's "artistic adviser." And she's been on a "serious shopping spree" in recent days, which probably isn't good news. Then again, she's being followed around by camera crews, so maybe this will all be turned into a reality show at some point. [P6, NYDN]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner tied the knot in front of 500 guests yesterday in an "over the top" ceremony at the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. (On hand for the big event: Andrew Cuomo, Rudy Giuliani, Anna Wintour, Barbara Walters, Sheldon Silver, and Emmy Rossum, among others.) The couple is heading to Africa on their honeymoon. [NYP]

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter. Rosie acknowledges the two are having "issues" and says they're trying to work things out. But Carpenter may have already moved out of the home they share in Nyack, which probably isn't a good sign. [People]
• Jill Zarin has no manners. When the "Real Housewife" appeared at the opening of "Memphis" on Broadway the other night, she arrived 30 minutes late and with an entourage in tow and disrupted audience members when they moved into their seats. Then she blabbed for 15 minutes during the show. [P6]

Mitch Winehouse thinks Amy's rack was worth the rumored $56,000 cost of silicone. Salman Rushdie scores another PYT. Obama Girl is mauled by a light fixture at that one ubiquitous press junket in Jamaica. Welcome to Thursday's gossip!

Jon and Kate Gosselin completely suck at life. Michael Jackson was weird on The Simpsons. Weird! Weirdos will get off on Marge Simpson in Playboy. Carrey Mulligan? Emmy Rossum! Pervy Dr. Phil, many more. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Elizabeth Edwards may have given up on her marriage. Paris Jackson knows who killed her father. Liz Taylor once tried suicide. And Palin could be trying her hand at beauty. Good morning, sunshine! Here's your Thursday morning gossip roundup!

Yeesh! Former singer and current train wreck Amy Winehouse recently spent a screechy, ear-splitting night rapping. It's on video. And it's just awful.

• Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy got married in a quiet ceremony in France a few weeks ago. Sneaky! [Life & Style]
• Emmy Rossum's husband, music exec Justin Siegel, has filed for divorce. (Their 2008 secret marriage was only discovered when the couple was reported to have split up in August.) Naturally, Siegel is asking Rossum to pay for the divorce and he's seeking spousal support, too. [TMZ, Us]
• Yet another book is coming out alleging that Bill Clinton did inappropriate things. In her new book Government Girl: Young and Female in the White House, Stacy Parker Aab claims Clinton groped her in a hotel room in 2000 and his pal Vernon Jordan tried to kiss her twice. Good thing the poor girl got this all off her cheat a mere nine years after the fact. [NYDN]

Is Kanye West considering rehab? Would Michael appreciate Janet's mournful gesture? Should we all just forget Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic ways? So many questions! Get some answers in your Tuesday morning gossip roundup....

• Mischa Barton went to see "Tosca" at the Metropolitan Opera the other night. Naturally, when she showed up and saw a red carpet, she started walking it... until she realized it was for the screening of Michael Moore's new documentary at Alice Tully Hall. It was then that the light bulb went on and she ran across the street. Pull it together, woman! [P6]
• Jessica Simpson can't catch a break. Tony Romo ditched her; her dog got snatched by a coyote; her friends keep dishing to the media; and now her ex, Nick Lachey, appears to be reuniting with his ex, Vanessa Minnillo. Poor Jess. [E!]
• Tyra Banks appeared on Larry King Live last night and talked about how she dealt with packing on some lbs (again), her real hair (again), and how she loves being naked (unless the lighting in the dressing room sucks). [CNN, ET]

[Amy Winehouse is spitting mad as she rages around North London yesterday. Image via INF]

Nuns don't understand Lady Gaga. Small children understand Michael Jackson and Heath Ledger's deaths. And Martha Stewart can't comprehend Jessica Simpson's dead dog surprise. Welcome to your Friday gossip roundup!

The man to blame/credit for turning the city into one big set for the new Sex and the City movie is celebrating his birthday today: SATC director/producer Michael Patrick King is 55. Singer/professional trainwreck Amy Winehouse is 26. The rapper Nas is 36. John Gutfreund, famed '80s financier and Mike Bloomberg's old boss, is 80. Tyler Perry is turning 40. Renowned architect Renzo Piano is 72. Model Carmen Kass is turning 31. Actress Faith Ford is 45. Dan Cortese is turning 42. Actress Melissa Leo turns 49. And Ashley Roberts of the Pussycat Dolls is 28.

• Are Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez engaged? The actress was spotted wearing a big diamond on her ring finger this week, which means "either A-Rod is making it official, or Ms. Hudson made some very careless jewelry choices." [NYDN]
• It's the battle of the Bravo reality TV stars on Twitter: Bethenny Frankel says Rachel Zoe is "self-important." Zoe claims Frankel is "insane" and "desperate for attention." Of course, you may find it hard to take sides here, since both of them seem to be making perfectly valid points about one another. [NYDN, Jezebel]
• Poor Gwyneth Paltrow suffered a little wardrobe malfunction while going through security at the Barcelona airport yesterday. [Sun]

• Is Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend, planning to move to New York? Possibly! [DM]
• A coroner has ruled Michael Jackson's death was due to lethal levels of the anesthetic Propofol in his body, which may very well pave the way for prosecutors to file manslaughter charges against Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray. [MSNBC, People, NYDN]
• In other Jackson family news, Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with LaToya Jackson, which will air on September 11. Exciting, huh? [ABC]
• Jessica Biel is the most dangerous celebrity on earth—at least when it comes to computer viruses. People who seek out info on Biel online stand a one-in-five chance of visiting a site "designed to damage their computer." [Us]

Melanie Griffith's drying out, an Amy Winehouse love letter sparks a lawsuit and Robin Williams may channel Susan Boyle. That — and more — in your Tuesday morning Gossip Roundup. Delicious!

Emma Roberts left her mark on her boyfriend, Amy Winehouse can't kick her ex-husband, Paris Jackson took Las Vegas and Candace Bushnell doesn't like the c-word. Good morning! Here's your Monday Gossip Roundup...

Speidi acts the ass at the Miss Universe pageant, Sting's status as a sexual God is bullshit, Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush reconcile, Jason Schwartzman got married, Marc Jacobs is getting married, and Amy Winehouse goes on a 48-hour bender.

• George Michael is back in the news and, as usual, it has nothing to do with his music. The singer was arrested on Friday for driving drunk when he crashed his car into a truck. Michael, however, is insisting he was sober at the time. So maybe he's just a bad driver? [NYDN, E!]
• Is Joe Simpson trying to push the producers of American Idol to hire Jessica Simpson to replace Paula Abdul? That's the rumor. [P6]
• Amy Winehouse's soon-to-be ex-husband, Blake Fielder-Civil says the singer has been "begging him to get back together." Uh oh. [DM]
• Beyoncé has been brushing up on her dance skills by "secretly" enrolling in ballet lessons at the Alvin Ailey School of Dance. [NYDN]