• Foxy Brown (aka Inga Marchand), who recently completed her probation for attacking a manicurist in Manhattan, was arrested again yesterday for creating a disturbance in a beauty supply store. We're pissed at that eyeshadow too, Foxy! [TSG]
  

There were only two of them, but they made a whole frontage: huge, compelling, pneumatic. They burst out of tight red dresses—preferably red—or teased among feather boas, or flanked a dizzying cleavage that plunged to tantalising depths. These were celebrated, American breasts, engineered by silicon to be as broad and bountiful as the prairie. With them, a girl from nowhere—or from Houston, Texas—could do anything. The body behind them waxed and waned, sometimes stout as a stevedore's and sometimes almost waif-like, matching the little-girl voice; but the Breasts remained.

A reader, impressed by the incredible context sensitivity of Amazon's "related searches" function, pointed out the results of a recent "Anna Nicole Smith" query he made at the site. (We're sure he was genuinely interested in picking up a piece of the illuminating literature concerning her interesting life, like Great Big Beautiful Doll, not just hunting for back issues of Playboy.) Pamela Anderson's name probably only snuck in there only because she's another blonde breast-enhancement enthusiast famous because of her willingness to take off her clothes, not because Amazon's amazing software thinks she's in danger of a "mysterious" demise that may or may not be related to huge bottles of prescription analgesics in her fridge.

Yesterday, 24/7 online Anna Nicole Smith newswire TMZ.com exclusively revealed that in addition to once partying with America's Princess Di at the WeHo Gay Pride in 2005, Dr. Sandeep Kapoor had apparently prescribed methadone to a Smith alias shortly before she gave birth to the daughter whose paternity would later be claimed by not less than forty-five virile men. Since that story broke, the site has plunged ever deeper into his life by following up with a pair of items on Smith's Dr. Feelnothing, revealing his bizarre fetish for entering sport utility vehicles while draped in blankets and discovering that one of his stated areas of practice is Entertainment Medicine, a discipline whose existence was summarily denied by celebrity-frequented St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica. We expect that the always exhaustively thorough TMZ won't be deterred by this obvious attempt at stonewalling their investigation into the shadowy underworld of the ent-med field, whose secretive, utterly discreet practitioners are always available to perform emergency, overdose-obscuring surgical procedures or help the famous manage the pain of celebrity through pharmacological means.

Yes, Yahoo News contextual Valentine's advertising, love is in the air! Or in a sperm bank. Or at least in the air of a medical examiner's office in Fort Lauderdale.

As the Anna Nicole Smith tragedy starts to recede from the forefront of our consciousness, some cheering news: Alfred A. Knopf has acquired the rights to the memoir she was working on at the time of her passing. It's called The Year of Magical Drinking, and will also be adapted as a monologue to be performed on Broadway by Kate Winslet. A brief excerpt, in which Anna Nicole reflects on death and impermanence, follows.

Those obsessive chroniclers of every bizarre, Atkins-baby chapter to unfold since the death of Anna Nicole Smith at TMZ have really gone above and beyond the call of duty this time, tracking down the shadowy Dr. Sandeep Kapoor—who allegedly filled out a methadone prescription for Smith 13 days before she gave birth—to this 2005 photograph, where he sits on the edge of a convertible Saab in the WeHo Gay Pride Parade, with his Mardi-Gras-bead-festooned celebrity patient reclining nearby in a spread-eagled display of her courageous commitment to promoting alternative lifestyles. We're not exactly sure what TMZ is trying to say by choosing to run this photo about the true nature of out n' proud gay doctors-to-the-stars; hopefully, it was the only one available, and not part of some greater plot to paint professional Gays as menaces to society who harbor secret drug-pushing, baby-starving agendas. Interesting to note, however, is that just out of the frame was Howard K. Stern, covered at Anna's request in head-to-toe rainbow body paint, using every ounce of his strength to push the vehicle along the length of the Santa Monica Blvd. parade route.

· TMZ got their hands on a mindblowing document: Quethlie Alexis, Smith's Bahamian nanny, testified in a sworn affidavit that she was ordered to underfeed Dannielynn because Anna Nicole was "obsessed with making sure that her baby was 'sexy.'" She'd enforce the order by keeping the baby monitor on at all times. Also: She threatened to "shoot her" if the baby were to ever call Alexis "Mummy." Also: She tried to kill herself twice, once with a bottle of sleep aids, another by drowning herself in the pool. Also: Upon rescuing her from the pool, Stern said, "If anything happens to you, I would go to jail." Also: She was in all probability doing the Bahamian immigration minister six ways from Sunday. [TMZ]
· The ever helpful folks at ET/The Insider released some previously unseen footage from their exclusive first interview after Daniel died, in which a vengeful Anna Nicole hints at "stories" about "all the things [my mother] did to me." Apparently, she had the audacity to accuse Anna Nicole of being a drug user who put herself and her family at risk! [YouTube]
· Here's an unearthed video of Anna Nicole frolicking naked in a bathtub for an Italian journalist, rendered even more erotic by the automaton announcer narrating in German. Highlight: When she vacuum-seals her breasts in a shower curtain liner. Very NSFW. [DrunkenStepfather]
· Everything you didn't want to know about the current state of Anna Nicole's body: As a judge has granted Larry Birkhead's request to keep her body in Florida until accurate DNA testing occurred, she remains in refrigeration. Howard K. Stern and her mother want her released and embalmed as quickly as possible, for fear that "it will not be suitable for viewing or funeral purposes." [AP]
· And just as quickly, the judge changes his mind: Cleared for burial! [Extra]

• Factory Girl director George Hickenlooper was "forcibly ejected" from oily heir Brandon Davis's hotel room for... not being French or medicated enough? [Transom]
  

Give the girl credit: She didn't care what she put in her mouth while she was in this world and she went out of it the same way.

· Hollywood Police Capt. Tony Rode has since deflected all inquiries back to Seminole PD, saying "This investigation belongs to the Seminole Police Department. You are looking at the extent of our role." If you're anticipating a botched, inept investigation, fear not: They own at least one helicopter! (But they are trying to unload it to the highest bidder.) [AP, SeminoleSheriff.org]
· Anna Nicole's "lifeless" body, reports TMZ (guess she's still dead!), is currently being held at the Florida morgue, and mother Virgie Arthur wants to claim it as soon as possible for burial. But, they report, a tug-of-war is underway, as "Anna's people" (i.e. the Howard K. Stern camp) are trying to negotiate a deal with Larry Birkhead's lawyers: release your hold on the body, and get a DNA sample of Anna Nicole. The catch? No DNA sample of the baby. [TMZ]
· Bahamian Immigration Minister Shane Gibson response to allegations that he sped through Anna Nicole's citizenship application: "Absolutely not." He then spent the rest of Monday snuggling fully clothed in bed with every other applicant, to prove he shows no favoritism.
· Larry Birkhead says he attended infant-care classes on his own in anticipation of Dannielynn's birth, as well as baby CPR classes, in case "there was an emergency." [NY Daily News]

• Larry Birkhead, one of Anna Nicole's many possible impregnators, tried to get her off drugs while she was up the stick, but his efforts were met with resistance. [NYDN]
  

Much has been made of a photo revealing Anna Nicole Smith's final refrigerator contents—in particular a Costco-sized bottle of methadone and several cans of Slim-Fast meal replacement shakes. (The French's Worcestershire Sauce and spray-on butter sitting in the door were for some reason ignored, despite well-documented evidence that suggests they cause hearts to instantly explode when ingested together.) [CORRECTION: A representative from Reckitt Benckiser, the parent company of the French's brand of quality, heart-safe condiments, wrote in with this correction: " There is no such documented evidence." We regret this error, and promise that all future—and wholly inaccurate!—jokes involving Worcestershire sauce will be made at the expense of Lea & Perrins.] TrimSpa CEO Alex Goen—who hasn't been this fidgety since an interviewer called to find out who won that Viper in the Million Dollar Makeover Challenge—recently talked to Court TV about the mysterious death of their public face, Anna Nicole Smith:

• Vanity Fair Germany goes with odd choice of actor Til Schweiger—could you forget his turn in "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo"?—with his eyes closed and holding a lamb for their first-ever cover. [Vanity Fair Germany]
  

· Don't fault CNN's Jack Cafferty for asking a seemingly snippy question of the network's Master of Mysteriously Deceased Celebrities Ceremonies Wolf Blitzer. Given the staggering pace of the updates following her death, the answer to "Is Anna Nicole Smith still dead, Wolf?" easily could have been, "Actually, Jack, we're hearing that she may have been revived by a voodoo priest and is currently fleeing for the Bahamas on a stolen yacht." [YouTube]
· Having failed thus far to obtain Anna Nicole's autopsied stomach from an insider at the Broward County medical examiner's office, TMZ momentarily settles for posting pictures of Smith's refrigerator in the Bahamas (contents: Methadone, Slim-Fast, yogurt, just like your fridge at home) and of her snuggling with the Bahamian immigration minister, which we're sure is just part of the naturalization process down there. [TMZ, TMZ]
· Cause of death rumors update: MNSBC's Rita Cosby cites the potentially lethal combination of too many pills and too many breast surgeries. [NY Daily News]
· An ET/The Insider crew coaxes tears from lawyer/husband-like companion/Danielynn paternity hopeful Howard K. Stern, while on a plane—had they waited for him to land, Access Hollywood might have scooped them for "first celebrity TV newsmagazine to make Hollywood's most suspicious baby-daddy weep" bragging rights. [YouTube]

• These days, everyone keeps methadone in the fridge! [TMZ]
  

The tabloid T.V. get of the week is Howard K. Stern, Anna Nicole Smith's lawyer and potential baby-daddy—already Entertainment Tonight has him locked down.

· Virgie Arthur, Anna Nicole's mom and strong proponent of the "I think she had too many drugs" theory of death, arrived in the Bahamas today to explore all her "options" (translation: ask Bahamian authorities what, exactly, they know about this Howard K. Stern creep) with respect to her impending custody battle over Dannielynn. [TMZ, Extra]
· TMZ has saved us all the trouble of having to draft our own flow charts to figure out how much, if any, of J. Howard Marshall's billions might be coming Dannielynn's way. [TMZ]
· An L.A. judge rejected Larry Birkhead's request of an emergency DNA test on Anna Nicole's remains. His attorney claimed this was to prevent a "bait and switch" during paternity testing, but we suspect it has something to do with cloning another Anna Nicole. [Reuters]
· Speaking of Larry Birkhead, his website has a poetic tribute to her passing, in which we learn he called her his "sweet potato." [LarryBirkhead.net]
· TrimSpa is so beside themselves, they can barely eat. [TrimSpa]
· The AP provides a handy compendium of the legal messes she left behind. [AP]
· But what about the final, Z-movie performance? Illegal Aliens director David Giancola is "shell-shocked" at the news. Citizens of Johnstown, NY: We'd call ahead to see if that sneak preview at the mall is still happening. [ABCNews]
· Surprisingly, this unearthed 2004 photograph reveals that Marilyn Monroe held a fascination with the doomed, ditzy blonde bombshell. [EOnline]
· In a touching tribute to their future celebrity pupil, Anna Nicole's former high school teachers "vaguely recall the unspectacular student." [Reuters]
· Goodbye, Mexia's yellow rose...[YouTube]

The news that Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, Prince Frederick von Anhalt, might be the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn seems like a blatant play for the riches that soon may rain down on young Dannielynn, not to mention some sort of sick reality show—but, hello, people, what about the PARIS HILTON CONNECTION?! Zsa Zsa is Paris's sort-of-step-grandmother, thanks to her four-year marriage to Paris's grandfather Conrad in the 1940s. This is a shocking turn of events; we had no idea that Paris might be involved, but cannot, in fact, say that we are surprised, since she does seem to get her size-11 feet mixed up in all kinds of shit lately.

As tributes continue to pour in to tragic victim Anna Nicole Smith, we thought we'd share a few. They leave us with more questions than answers. Here's Playboy photography director Gary Cole: