We usually expect to read our articles about how today's parents are self-obsessed pieces of shit in New York (which never seems to realize that the subjects they profile are self-obsessed pieces of shit). However, Friday's Wall Street Journal saw New York's douche and said "douch ," with this stunning article about how adults are essentially ignoring their kids in favor of their BlackBerries. It's chock-full of repellent professional-types who should have been chemically castrated before they were ever allowed to procreate, and it should be read in full, but we've culled some of the most poignant parts and placed them after the jump.