apologies

Cord Jefferson · 06/21/13 03:45PM

Kickstarter has issued an apology for allowing a user to fund his rapey "seduction guide" through its site. To prove it's serious, the company has vowed to donate $25,000 to the anti-sexual violence nonprofit RAINN.

Paula Deen, in Full Drag Makeup, Begs You For Forgiveness

Caity Weaver · 06/21/13 02:11PM

Rapidly decaying Georgia peach Paula Deen has just posted, removed, and reposted (UPDATE: and removed) a choppy, heavily edited YouTube video statement in which she solemnly begs for forgiveness from "you" (us) (black people?), her children, her team, her fans, and her partners "for the mistakes that I've made."

Cord Jefferson · 06/19/13 11:22AM

Serena Williams has apologized for her "she got too drunk" comments concerning the Steubenville rape victim, but not without suggesting that maybe the reporter made it all up: "What was written—what I supposedly said—is insensitive and hurtful, and I by no means would say or insinuate that she was at all to blame."

Joe Francis To His "Retarded" Jury: Just Kidding!

Rich Juzwiak · 05/23/13 09:55AM

It was not inevitable that Joe Francis would issue an apology for his remarks to The Hollywood Reporter suggesting the jurors who recently convicted him for unlawful imprisonment should be executed. But what was inevitable is that if an apology were to surface, it would be full of assy qualifications, self-entitlement and victim-playing. And so it has, and so it is. Below is the "apology" Francis issued because someone obviously told him to do it, although they failed to inform him how to do it:

Maggie Lange · 04/23/13 03:55PM

Oh you misunderstood Michael Bay: he confirms that Armageddon was perfect, he is sorry for nothing.

Petraeus Apologizes for Having an Affair that Led to His Resignation from CIA Director

Maggie Lange · 03/27/13 08:17AM

In his first public speech since he stepped down, former CIA director David Petraeus apologized for the extramarital affair that led to his departure. "I regret—and apologize for—the circumstances that led to my resignation from the CIA and caused such pain for my family, friends and supporters," he told the audience of 600, including his wife and many decorated veterans, at the University of Southern California's annual ROTC dinner.

Confessions of a Teenage Word-Bully

John Cook · 01/04/13 03:30PM

It is 1986. We are 13- and 14-year-olds, rank-smelling in unwashed teenager jeans, unsupervised and latch-keyed after school, huddled around the face of the future: The screen of a first-generation Apple Macintosh personal computer. Within the machine's non-dairy creamer-colored casing is a malleable visual playground unlike anything we had seen before: Manic fonts, brick-wall patterns summoned with a mouse-click and distorted at will, spray-paint lines of variable size and density.