Rep. Michele Bachmann has had all sorts of fun adventures on the presidential campaign trail, whether it's by introducing herself to likely voter babies, playing with heavy machinery, or gazing down long rows of hanging animal carcasses. When will she finish losing this race already?
Fresh on the heels of the tenth anniversary of That Horrible and Fateful Day When Everything Changed, a new reason to Never Forget: an unidentified group of shadowy Arabs—or someone familiar with their secret communication codes—has managed to infiltrate our nation's commercial air system once again, and scrawl mysterious unknown gibberish terror messages on the underbelly of planes. Will these messages explode?
Celebrating Oktoberfest? Ashamed of your scrawny calves? Meet Wundersock, the patented rubber foam insert for knee-sock-wearing for men. Lederhosen store owner Herbert Lipah invented the "wonderbra for men." He exports Wundersock supplies to Scotland and Namibia. (Apparently Namibians are really into Oktoberfest. Something about colonialism.) Lipah says his store's wares are very popular with "gays, tourists."
The Federal Reserve's Open Market Committee responded to congressional Republicans' unprecedented letter warning that "further intervention by the Federal Reserve could exacerbate current problems or further harm the U.S. economy" by, well, intervening further anyway! Slightly further. Helpfully further? Eh, probably not.
In your woebegone Wednesday media column: network news is on the ups, The Source magazine remembered, Harper's Bazaar cuts back, the trickle away from The Daily continues, and ad revenue at the NYT is bad (again, still).
Meth-smoking, man-screwing Evangelical pastor Ted Haggard will soon be swappin' wives with none other than Gary Busey on the upcoming "celebrity" version of ABC's Wife Swap.
Doing their part to keep the struggling U.S. Postal Service afloat, Congressional Republican leaders sent a letter a to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke on Tuesday, demanding that he stop doing whatever it is that he's thinking of doing to help the economy, because they said so.
Washington remains obsessed with all of the hot political gossip in Pulitzer Prize-winning author Ron Suskind's new book, Confidence Men, about the inner workings of the early Obama administration. The quote that so far has garnered the most attention is former communications director Anita Dunn's assertion that the White House boys' club atmosphere could have qualified as a "hostile workplace" under law. So why did Suskind omit the possibly exculpatory part of her quote?
Workers in an Amazon.com warehouse were routinely sent to the emergency room because of sweltering, suffocating heat that sometimes exceeded 110 degrees — and because Amazon refused to open warehouse doors, fearing theft, according to a devastating exposé in the Allentown, Pennsylvania Morning Call. After workers, an E.R. doctor and a security guard complained, federal regulators investigated the warehouse and recommended changes. Amazon responded with popsicles, bandanas and finger pointing.
All that Hurricane Irene and Tropical Storm Lee wanted was to smash a few windows, flood some streets, and uproot an old tree here or there. But now they may indirectly end up shutting down the federal government, too! This really is a banner year for the forces of evil.
Liberals can finally stop occupying Wall Street and screeching pointlessly on their insular blog sites: President Barack Obama is going to tax the rich! He's finally standing up to Wall Street and throwing all his weight behind this symbolic gesture which will do little to fill the yawing gap of empire-induced debt! He just announced his firm intentions today. Already, the economy is crumbling.
In your mordant Monday media column: News Corp pays up for Milly Dowler, Janet Robinson tweets in secret, Ted Koppel could head to NBC, Americans think Fox News is "the best," and a Senator's wife finally resigns from a newspaper.
