Poor Elmo: Earlier today, a third man announced a lawsuit against Kevin Clash, accusing the Elmo voice actor of instigating a relationship with the man in 2000, when the alleged victim was just 16. The accuser, who is going by "John Doe" for now, says he met Clash on a gay chat line, where the two talked for several days before Clash invited the teen to his apartment.

For starters, Tim Allen's favorite car isn't a Porsche or a Jay Leno-ish vintage ride; no, it's a souped up 1996 Chevy Impala, which, according to Allen's website (totally worth a visit, by the way), "holds a DOHC 32-valve Corvette ZR1 engine and delivers 446 hp at 5500 rpm." I don't know what that means, but it sounds fast and loud. Also of note: "The rear also includes a "Binford 6100" badge. (Binford is the hypothetical tool manufacturer from Home Improvement's "Tool Time" show.)"

Last night, pop singer Chris Brown, who infamously and brutally beat up Rihanna in 2009, launched a verbal, scatological attack on comedy writer Jenny Johnson. Johnson has made it a bit of a hobby to antagonize the 23-year-old Brown, and last night, after she called Brown a "worthless piece of shit" on Twitter, Brown unleashed a barrage of tweets at Johnson to tell her he was going to fart on her and defecate into her eye. As the internet gathered around yet another Chris Brown temper tantrum, Brown, who has hastily deleted offensive tweets in the past, went further than usual, deleting his entire Twitter account and disappointing his legion of fans, Team Breezy.

Are you still waiting on your personalized email from President Bill Clinton thanking you for your donation to his campaign? Unless you're a maverick of space exploration or prevented a major war from escalating, that email isn't coming.

At the height of his pre-election anti-Obama hysteria, bloviating billionaire Donald Trump was reportedly approached by three of his kids and asked to tone down his risky rhetoric.

Chris Brown makes it hard to forget about his past, doesn't he? Earlier today, the petulant and abusive R&B singer engaged in a Twitter battle with comedy writer Jenny Johnson. As you might expect, Brown was nothing but respectful, offering, among other things, to let Johnson suck his dick and to shit on her eye (at his mother's request, no less). Brown quickly deleted the tweets but not before Johnson retweeted them.

O.J. Simpson spent this Thanksgiving inside of a jail cell. He's currently doing time for armed robbery, but the details of his famous 1994 murder trial have still not escaped him.

Morgan Freeman, the voice of god and storyteller of penguin life, appears in a new ad for the Human Rights Campaign. Freeman's weighty voice washes over you as images of sunrises, Martin Luther King, and the Constitution pass by.

This year's Thanksgiving parade was kind of a heartbreaker after a a Yonkers man died while clowning. But things may be getting a little bit worse.

"Gangnam Style," Korean megastar Psy's infectious "Party Rock Anthem" clone, just became the Internet's most viewed video of all time. This morning, it reached approximately 805 million views on YouTube, beating out the former champ, Justin Bieber's "Baby," which held the old top spot with approximately 804 million views. There's no doubt that the 805 millionth viewer was some kid who ran down his dorm hallway shouting, "you guys have GOT to see this video. C'mere, watch this!"

Because sometimes life is every bit as exciting and riddled with mysteries as you had hoped it would be as a cunning, hopeful child, a man in southern England has discovered the remains of a homing pigeon carrying an encrypted message for a British intelligence agency while renovating his 17th-century fireplace. The man, David Martin, found the remains of the pigeon back in 1982 but the existence of the message remained a secret until earlier this month.

For those who don't know, Gwyneth Paltrow, the world's most perfect human and Beyonce's best friend, has a newsletter called Goop. It's filled with insight on how to be perfect and live your life exactly how the mother of two children named Apple and Moses lives her life.

In this month's elections, Washington state, the land of Starbucks and grunge, elected to legalize same-sex marriage. Washington is also home to Microsoft and Bill Gates (who by the way, gave a total of $600,000 to the Washington fight for same-sex marriage) and a bevy of companies and other executives.

It seems as though spending $100 million on two failed campaigns for Senate has left pro-wrestling magnate/ "self-funding Republican" Linda McMahon light on cash. Either that, or her campaign is cheap and vindictive (or inept).

After three and a half years, Chevy Chase is done at Community. The agreement to part ways was apparently mutual and will take place immediately. Chase's departure won't have much of an impact on the critically-acclaimed show's fourth season - all but two of the season's episodes had already been filmed – but it will likely have a positive impact on the sitcom's morale.

Britain's Got Talent runner-up Susan Boyle has been trying to find her way back to the headlines for some time now. The good news is that she's finally succeeded.

Emma Stone may be the latest celebrity to have their sex life laid bare if a RadarOnline report on a possible pre-fame sex tape is to be believed.

Gilberto Valle, the NYPD cop suspected of planning to kidnap, cook, and eat dozens of women, was probably going to be denied bail again anyway, but it certainly didn't help his case that prosecutors were able to produce a transcript of an online conversation he had about eating "girl meal" for Thanksgiving.

Police in Israel are on the hunt for two suspected terrorists as an apparent bomb explosion aboard a civilian bus in Tel Aviv injured at least 21 people.

In the same way that New Yorkers love eating bagels on a brisk Sunday morning, San Franciscans love reading the morning paper on a park bench with their balls out for all to see. Nudity is just what happens there. It's natural. The Olsen Twins grew up there.