Shocking news out of Argentina’s seething, sweat-streaked strip club of a country—the woman who led Obama in a sultry tango last week at a State Dinner had been expressly forbidden from rubbing her harlot body against him, and she did it anyway.
The Obamas are in Argentina, where they both gamely danced the tango last night at a state dinner. Parents are so embarrassing.
An Argentine steelworker and his wife were awoken early Friday morning by a gang of armed burglars looting their house. Two of the three men had guns, but they didn't get a chance to use them before the sleepy homeowner took a samurai sword off the wall and savagely "smote them in the arms" with it.
An Argentine judge issued a warrant for the arrest of Justin Bieber on Friday, making the jet-setting petty criminal a wanted man in South America and prompting widespread pleas of "go ahead and take him, then."
A lonely Argentine shepherd was found dead in his bed Tuesday, lying next to what initially appeared to investigators to be another person, but was quickly determined to be a scarecrow outfitted with "special features," including jeans, lipstick, a wig, and a 6-inch plastic sex tube.
In the course of doubling down on his widely-disputed claims about what exactly he was doing in Argentina during the Falklands War, Bill O'Reilly also managed to threaten a New York Times reporter.
Disgraceful—though not yet disgraced—Fox News loudmouth Bill O'Reilly's reputation-burnishing lies have taken another hit as CBS journalists who were in Buenos Aires with him contradict his description of events there, CNN reports.
A draft of a warrant ordering the arrest of Argentine president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner and foreign minister Héctor Timerman was found at the apartment of Alberto Nisman, a prosecutor who was shot to death in his home last month. Nisman was set to testify the next day in front of the country's congress that de Kirchner had conspired with Iran to cover up the cause of a 1994 bombing that killed 85 people in Buenos Aires.
For the past 10 years, an Argentinian prosecutor named Alberto Nisman had been investigating a 1994 bombing at a Jewish community center that killed 85 people in Buenos Aires. This past Sunday, he was found dead in his high rise apartment with a gunshot wound to his head. Originally, the Argentinian government claimed Nisman committed suicide, but yesterday president Cristina Fernández de Kirchner reversed course in a bizarre letter that intimates Nisman was murdered.
The Daily Mail reported today that a high school teacher in Santiago del Estero, Argentina had been suspended after sleeping with a 16-year-old student who made a sex tape and leaked it to his friends. The story has been going viral on Spanish-language news sites since last week. It's (mostly) fake. Let us explain.
Clinton-era Secretary of State Madeline Albright is now working to help billionaire hedge fund mogul Paul Singer legally extort money from the people of Argentina, because ultimately even "respectable leaders" are for sale, and never forget that.
Angelito Ribero, dressed as folk saint Gauchito Gil, stands outside the San Cayetano church in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Legend holds that Gil was a 19th century outlaw who robbed the rich to give to the poor. His spirit is believed to perform miracles. Image by Natacha Pisarenko via AP.
A polar bear named Arturo, who lives in a hot enclosure at Mendoza Zoo in Argentina, has not been having a great two years. After his best friend Pelusa died in 2012, Arturo has responded by exhibiting strange behavior, such as rocking side to side, baring his teeth, and collapsing into a pile with no will to get up. It can reach up to 104 degrees Fahrenheit in his enclosure.
The New York Times gets in on the World Cup honey-shot action.
The vice president of Argentina, Amado Boudou, has formally been charged in a corruption scandal where it is alleged that Boudou abused his power as economy minister to assure that a company he allegedly controlled was given the contract to print Argentine currency.
Scientists in Argentina have uncovered the bones of a creature believed to be the world's biggest dinosaur. The big guy would have weighed 77 metric tons, seven heavier than the previous record holder, the Argentinosaurus. Truly a sad day to be the ghost of an Argentinosaurus.
The focus of this week's episode of the U.K.'s Secrets of South America was Argentina (last week's, featuring the clip of the beauty queen with mesh sewn to her tongue, was Venezuela). The show, a sort of modern imagining of the Prosperi/Jacopetti Mondo movies as hosted by a perky cross between Alexa Chung and Fiona Apple (Billie JD Porter), focused on the seeming contradiction between a society so liberal about sex (Argentina was, for example, the first Latin American country to legalize gay marriage) yet guided by the Catholic church.
A swarm of carnivorous fish attacked a group of swimmers at a popular beach in Argentina on Christmas Day, injuring more than 70. Seven children lost part of their toes or fingers in the attack.
Pope Francis is a different kind of pontiff, a friendly and humble Jesuit who loves to hang out on the corner with his people. But what's that bowl-pipe thing he carries around and frequently takes a hit off? It's a mate cup with a silver straw. And it's how you drink the caffeine-loaded "national infusion" of Francis' homeland, Argentina.
Justin Bieber continued his shithead streak in South America this weekend, getting caught on video mistreating Argentine flags on stage. Insulting Argentina's flag is a crime punishable by up to four years in jail, but unfortunately he made it home safe without being imprisoned.
