army

Ex-Soldier Seeking Psych Help Takes Hostages

Sergio Hernandez · 09/06/10 01:03PM

In a drastic (but effective?) attempt to prove he needed psychiatric help, a former Army soldier took three hostages at a military hospital in Georgia this morning to demand "treatment for behavioral problems."

Aging Child Star Goes to D.C.: A Comedy

Maureen O'Connor · 05/14/10 01:34PM

Silver Spoons star Ricky Schroder went to Washington, D.C. last week. "I met with the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe and with the guys at the Pentagon to see if I could help them with anything entertainment related." God help us.

Sniper Sets Record with Kill at 1.5 Miles

Max Read · 05/03/10 08:27PM

British soldier Craig Harrison killed two Taliban machine gunners in Afghanistan at a distance of 8,120 feet, setting a vaguely depressing record. The previous vaguely depressing record, set by a Canadian sniper, was 7,972 feet. [Sky News]

U.S. Soldiers in Afghanistan Made a Lady Gaga Music Video

Maureen O'Connor · 04/29/10 05:15PM

This video shows a group of nimble-footed U.S. soldiers remaking the "Telephone" video. The result is magnificent. Alternating between regulation camo and spangled leotards, our men in Afghanistan swing their hips, snap their wrists, and twinkle their toes like pros.

Pentagon's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Survey Hits Snag

Jeff Neumann · 04/01/10 06:39AM

The Defense Department is worried that gay soldiers may not want to participate in a survey that will ask for their thoughts on repealing DADT. Perhaps that's because the law, which bars gays from openly serving, is still in place?

Homosexual Army Responsible for Massacre, Says Retiree

Jeff Neumann · 03/19/10 04:17AM

A fondness of handcuffs and openly gay "socialization" in lazy European armies led directly to the killing of thousands in Bosnia, a retired US general told a Senate committee. The Dutch aren't happy about it.

Join the Austrian Army, Get Hot Austrian Tail

Mike Byhoff · 02/03/10 09:47AM

This ad may be a tad unbelievably sexist, given the prolonged, gratuitous shot of a girl's cleavage, but when it comes to the matter of protecting one's country, all bets are off.

Jumping Jacks Lesson Further Befuddles World's Most Uncoordinated Soldier

Frank Cozzarelli · 01/22/10 10:17AM

The LOL platoon is a bit special, and this particular soldier cannot make jumping jacks work today. A slow-motion demonstration by the general only seems to make matters worse, adding further confusion to an increasingly hopeless situation.

Hands and legs together...hands and legs apart. Not happening today. Hopefully it will be a while before this guy is allowed near any live ammunition.