Today, the New York Post ran a short item about Ashanti's Twitter stalker. As ridiculous as that sentence is, it's not the most ridiculous aspect of the piece. No, it's that in the headline, Ashanti was misidentified as "RiRi," which is Rihanna's nickname. Apparently, the New York Post thinks all black male R&B singers are rappers, and all black female R&B singers are Rihanna.

Last week, CBS emailed all the stars attending the Grammys and asked them to cover their breasts with fabric before they arrived.

Does Tom Cruise have a crush on Jeremy Renner? Are Kat Von D and Jesse James engaged? Was Shape wrong to put LeAnn Rimes on their cover? Friday gossip is full of perplexing questions.

In Dubai, Carrie and the girls flout their steepest recession yet. Dr. Conrad Murray films a show, Brittany Murphy could cry out of one eye at a time on command, Carrie Underwood flaunts her engagement ring. Wednesday gossip is decadent.

• Lindsay Lohan landed in India yesterday where she's taking part in a BBC documentary on child sex trafficking. And she's already making a difference! Just hours after landing, she hopped on Twitter to proclaim that "over 40 children" have been "saved so far." What she did to save these kids isn't clear (especially when she could use some saving herself), but why quibble over details? [Us]
• In other (and more dubious) LiLo news, the Daily News reports that Lohan has a new man: "Lindsay Lohan is covering all her bases before she ships off to India—and that includes kissing several boys goodbye." Given she's already left the country, you may want to ignore what follows from there, but the guy she's supposedly seeing is Adam Senn, the model and bad boy from first season of The City, who met LiLo during Fashion Week and is someone Senn is hoping to "get to know even better." [NYDN]
• Have Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel broken up? Who knows, but he was supposedly seen flirting with a bunch of women the other night. [P6]
• Today in Tiger: The number of women Woods has been cheating with hit 13 yesterday afternoon, just as racy text messages that Tiger sent Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel surfaced. In other Tiger mistress news, a video featuring porn star Holly Sampson bragging about having sex with Tiger Woods also turned up yesterday. And Uchitel is supposedly planning to get tested for STDs now that she's found out how many women Tiger has been hooking up with.

Sacha Baron Cohen turns 38 today. Ashanti is turning 29. Paul Simon is 68. Kelly Preston is turning 47. Kate Walsh of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice is 42. Model Beverly Johnson is 57. Ivan Bart, the head of IMG Models, is turning 46. Billionaire Tom Tisch turns 55. Mega art dealer William Acquavella is 72. Sammy Hagar of Van Halen is 62. Access Hollywood's Billy Bush is turning 38. George Bush's former spokesman, Ari Fleischer, is 49. Marie Osmond is 50. Retired NFL star Jerry Rice is 47. Serena Altschul, the former MTV VJ and CBS News correspondent, is 39. Margaret Thatcher is 84. And Donald Trump's least famous child, Tiffany Trump, celebrates her 16th birthday today.

Karole Armitage's Armitage Gone! dance company held its annual benefit last night at Capitale. The honorees at the Think Punk! event, Jeff Koons and Earle Mack, celebrated with their wives, Justine and Carole, as well as with attendees like Rufus Wainwright (left), Andre Balazs, Calvin Klein, Fabiola Beracasa, Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson, Nicole Miller, Lauren duPont, Allison Sarofim, Peter Marino, Mary Boone, David Salle, Michael Musto, Dominique Levy, Sandy Brant, Tom Sachs, Todd Eberle, Francesco Clemente, Michele Zalopany, and Jamie Niven. [PMc, VF, WWD]

Natalie Portman walking her dog in the West Village ... A bundled up Scarlett Johansson walking with friends ... Ashanti posing outside the Early Show ... Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts grabbing coffee ... Julianne Moore walking in the East Village ... Ed Westwick leaving a photo shoot for K-Swiss ... Whitney Port standing under an umbrella with a friend ... Jessica Alba on the set of her new film in Brooklyn ... Jessica Szohr trying on clothes at a French Connection store ... country singer Brad Paisley waving outside the Letterman show ... Kate Winslet talking on her phone in the meatpacking district ... and Katie Holmes and Suri walking under an oversized lady bug umbrella.

♦ A "crazed" Madonna fan stormed the set of Guy Ritchie's new movie this weekend and threatened to kill him with a 12-inch knife before the 16-year-old was arrested. [Mirror, Daily Star]
♦ Is Ashley Olsen planning to marry boyfriend Justin Bartha in a secret wedding on the French Riviera? That's what the National Enquirer claims! Also: She supposedly wants Karl Lagerfeld to design her dress. [Daily Express]
♦ Joaquin Phoenix was acting "odd" and wobbly at an event in San Francisco last week, and now his friends are worried he's back to drinking and doing drugs. [P6]
♦ Beth Ostrosky and Ryan Reynolds both finished the NYC Marathon yesterday, along with about 35,000 other people. [NYDN]

Tiffany Trump, the Donald's fourth child and the only member of the immediate family who shares his hair color, turns 15 today. Also celebrating: Sacha Baron Cohen is 37. Ashanti is 28. Paul Simon turns 67. Kelly Preston is 46. Van Halen's Sammy Hagar turns 61. George Bush's cousin, Access Hollywood's Billy Bush, is 37. George Bush's former spokesman, Ari Fleischer, is 48. Modeling legend Beverly Johnson is turning 56. Modeling honcho Ivan Bart is 45. Art dealer William Acquavella is 71. And billionaire heir Thomas Tisch is 54.

• Ashley Dupre seems to have found a new married man to take her to expensive hotels and treat her to drinks from the minibar. After spending the day shopping in Midtown (left), she checked into the Gramercy Park Hotel with Thomas "TJ" Earle, who owns a New Jersey asphalt company and lives in a "McMansion" with his wife and two kids. [NYP]

Eight bottles of perfume/cologne and the eight celebrities to blame for unleashing them on the naive public: Recognize the hands or the shapes of the bottles? The answer key after the jump.

Keri Russell and her son River going grocery shopping in Brooklyn ... Lindsay Lohan showing up for work on the set of Ugly Betty ... Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly at a parking garage ... Meg Ryan and her son taking a stroll through SoHo ... Ice-T shooting a scene for Law & Order ... Gwyneth Paltrow taking a walk in the Hamptons while Madonna pushes Apple in a stroller ... Ashanti posing for photos in Rockefeller Plaza.

(1) Attendees at Sephora's party at the Angel Orensanz foundation last night included Lydia Hearst, Kelly Osbourne, Kat Von D, Nicky Hilton, Dani Stahl, Ali Wise, Jason Preston, Mike Satsky, Olivia Palermo, and Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss. The crowd, though, was more impressed by the presence of out-and-proud couple Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson (above, with half-sister Annabelle) than by performances by Ashanti and Natasha Bedingfield. [Elle/PMc]

The soft-voiced R&B singer has a good girl reputation, a string of pop hits, and an on-again off-again thing with hip-hop star Nelly.