Russell Brand's house is for sale (so he can move in with Katy Perry?), Pam Anderson pulls a Blanche DuBois, and Robert Pattinson has poor hygiene. Welcome to Tuesday's gossip.

A Daily Show producer got caught listening; McSweeney's got caught exaggerating; and some nerdy erotica got caught being awesome. The Twitterati were sooo busted.

• Lindsay Lohan may be into boys again, at least according to the Sun, since she supposedly spent the night with a male model who she'd been seen making out with the night before and later posted a picture of her new conquest on Twitter. Whether this is a make-Sam-jealous ploy or true love is hard to say, but rest assured her dad will probably weigh in on the matter by the end of the day. [Sun]
• A brazen jewelry thief busted into Amanda Peet's Tribeca loft on Wednesday and said, "What up, bitch? I live here" to Peet's assistant when she happened to walk in on the guy. He quickly fled, but let's hope she got out a "What up, mo fo?" before he was out of earshot. [P6]
• Jessica Simpson likes "spiritual," "artistic" and "intellectual" men because she "can bore out pretty easily." And now it's totally clear why her relationship with Tony Romo didn't work out. [Extra, People]
• CNN's Lou Dobbs says he's been receiving threatening phone calls and his house was shot at due to his views on immigration. But police don't have any any record that he's reported threats in the past and they think the shot was fired by a hunter. So, per usual, Dobbs is probably just full of crap. [P6]
• Michael Jackson's dad says his son is "worth more dead than when he was alive." The world already knew that was the way he felt, of course. But no one was expecting him to come right out and say it. [NYP]

[Demi Moore puts Ashton Kutcher on purse duty while while arriving at the GQ Gentlemen's Ball at the Edison Ballroom in New York last night. Image via INF]

• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler went to Soho House on a date on Tuesday night. Then again, the duo had to be "chaperoned" by friends including Simpson's BFF/hair stylist Ken Paves, which hardly sounds very romantic, does it? [P6]
• It may be over for the most famous lesbian couple in America, Rosie O'Donnell and Kelli Carpenter. Rosie acknowledges the two are having "issues" and says they're trying to work things out. But Carpenter may have already moved out of the home they share in Nyack, which probably isn't a good sign. [People]
• Jill Zarin has no manners. When the "Real Housewife" appeared at the opening of "Memphis" on Broadway the other night, she arrived 30 minutes late and with an entourage in tow and disrupted audience members when they moved into their seats. Then she blabbed for 15 minutes during the show. [P6]

• Lindsay Lohan is having another bad week. At the Whitney Museum of Art Gala last night, the "jelly-legged actress" had to hold on to a fence for "dear life" as she "stumbled out of the glitzy bash." But Mischa Barton was looking surprisingly put together, so that's good news, right? [Daily Mail, Sun]
• It's been a few years since Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi split up, but the author is still obsessed with his ex-wife and talks about her "day and night," says Rushdie's most recent girlfriend, Broadway actress Pia Glenn. She also says Rushdie broke things off with her via email and may have been just using her for sex. [P6]
• Ali Wise, the socialite/ex-Dolce & Gabbana publicist who appeared in court yesterday on charges she hacked into a rival's phone, won't have to mount her defense until January. But there are four women now claiming Wise broke into their voicemail accounts now, not just one. [NYDN]

Child labor activists are aiming for Pam Anderson. Rush Limbaugh, shockingly, loves racist clubs. Jon Gosselin no doubt hates giving up $180,000. And Ashton Kutcher was mean to January Jones. Good morning! It's your Wednesday morning gossip roundup...

A New York Times reporter trafficked in kitten pictures; Julia Allison's fashion scheme spread like a virus; and everyone decided gay people need special handling. The Twitterati were hatching schemes.

Today, Elizabeth Taylor twittered that she was entering the hospital for some experimental heart surgery. That one of the last bastion of old Hollywood superstardom made the announcement on Twitter makes us face some harsh realities.

Sienna Miller walking her dog ... Rihanna getting out of an SUV ... Will Ferrell jogging near Union Square ... Matt Damon filming scenes for The Adjustment Bureau with Anthony Mackie in Brooklyn ... Paul Simon walking on Madison Avenue ... Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore leaving their hotel ... Kevin Bacon walking on 14th Street ... Bruce Willis arriving at ABC for an appearance on GMA ... Calvin Klein eating lunch outside at Sant Ambroeus in the Village ... Angie Harmon carrying her daughter on Madison Avenue ... and John Mayer leaving Gemma on the Bowery after having dinner.

Gwen Stefani getting out of an SUV in the meatpacking district ... John Mayer walking in SoHo ... Adam Levine and girlfriend Angela Bellotte going through security at JFK ... Steven Spielberg walking with wife Kate Capshaw in SoHo ... Lindsay Lohan leaving the Bowery Hotel, and later changing her shirt on the street in SoHo ... Ed Burns hanging out in SoHo ... Ashton Kutcher arriving at his hotel ... Venus Williams walking with her mom in front of Bloomingdale's ... Colin Powell leaving his hotel ... Smokey Robinson walking by himself ... Rachel Zoe getting out of a car in front of her hotel ... Shia LaBeouf standing with Frank Langella and Oliver Stone on the set of Wall Street 2 in Central Park ... and Rihanna sitting in an SUV in front of Soho House.

Demi Moore won't respond to the British Prime Minister's wife. Victoria Beckham won't respond to questions about her tits. And Hugh Hefner doesn't respond well to his wife's infidelity. Oh, yes, it's your Thursday morning Gossip Roundup!

Demi and Rumer enjoy some male stripper action, Jessica Simpson angles for an American Idol gig, the fate of Michael Jackson's corpse remains a creepy mystery, Lady Gaga abuses men, Britney sports a new bikini, and Hugh Grant contemplates retirement.

Gwyneth Paltrow getting into her SUV in the Hamptons ... Calvin Klein walking in the West Village ... Elle Macpherson walking in Tribeca ... Antonio Sabato Jr. leaving his hotel ... Michelle Trachtenberg standing outside her trailer on the set of Gossip Girl, and later posing for photographers with an umbrella ... Jon Hamm leaving ABC Studios ... Eric Bana walking out of the Trump International Hotel with wife Rebecca Gleeson ... Justin Long on the set of Going the Distance ... Rihanna partying at Greenhouse in SoHo... and Ashton Kutcher standing on the set of A Beautiful Life downtown.

Whitney Port walking home from the gym ... Famke Janssen walking downtown ... Beyonce leaving dinner at Nello on Madison Avenue ... Rihanna going shopping at Barneys ... Mischa Barton filming scenes for The Beautiful Life in SoHo, right before Elle Macpherson showed up to shoot her scenes, too ... Ed Westwick arriving at JFK ... Alessandra Ambrosio arriving at MTV Studios in Times Square ... Kate Hudson sitting with CC Sabathia's wife, Amber, at a Yankee game ... Ashton Kutcher holding hands with Demi Moore while walking in the East Village ... Kate Gosselin leaving her hotel en route to ABC Studios ... Taylor Momsen and Connor Paolo eating lunch on the Gossip Girl set ... and Oprah leaving Phillippe with Gayle King and Alicia Keys.

• Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore suffered a big scare when the plane they were on was forced to make an emergency landing in Las Vegas shortly after take-off. Fortunately, neither actor was injured and they could return to tweeting within minutes of the incident. [People]
• Leonardo DiCaprio appears to be moving on now that he's no longer with Bar Refaeli: He was seen with SI model Anne Vyalitsyna in Ibiza. [P6]
• Bethenny Frankel was seen in the bathroom of a restaurant with a pregnancy test, so it appears she's looking to reproduce. You've been warned. [P6]

Has any celebrity tied himself so closely to a technology product as Ashton Kutcher with Twitter? It's doubtful, and yet Kutcher hasn't received a dime for his defacto endorsement. That's not lost on the actor.

Michael Jackson's doctor is still just as sketchy as before. Tom Cruise will raise your kids for you. Jude Law's new baby's name, rappers, witches, Heroes, Gossip Girls, and Ashton Kutcher's fake life. Presenting an epic Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Jon Gosselin's pissed Kate Major's lying about them being together. Another parent peddles her kids for money when really, she should be a Spider Man villain. Lindsay Lohan gives me Gwyneth's GOOPy runs. Happy Saturday Morning, here we go:

Britney Spears spent two days in Atlanta with some mystery dude, Michael Jackson's doctor is being investigated for murder, Brad Pitt puts Ashton Kutcher in his place, Renee Zellweger prepares to get fat again, and Madonna's tour suffers a tragedy.