The Internet's been buzzing all day about "Fuck You," a new track from Cee-Lo Green. The only negative here is that it didn't come out in time to be dubbed "Song of the Summer," because it's criminally catchy. Listen inside.

Justin Bieber is very popular. Lots of people love her songs! One of Bieber's most popular tunes is called "U Smile." But what happens when one slows it down by 800%? Well, it becomes a haunting, 36-minute Enya-like thingy. Seriously.

Master of subtle rationality Rush Limbaugh took to the airwaves today to discuss the Ground Zero non-mosque (just like Newt Gingrich did this morning) and, in the process, called Barack Obama "our first anti-American president." Audio of Limbaugh's rant, inside.

Yesterday, Dr. Laura Schlessinger shocked her radio show audience when she argued with a black woman about racism and—among other things—said the word "nigger" six times. Today, Schlessinger apologized for her incredibly offensive rant. Audio and transcripts, inside.

Lindsay Lohan once recorded a song "from daughter to father" saying her deadbeat dad broke her heart. Four years later and with his daughter conveniently in jail, Michael's got a response: a horrifying cringeworthy muzak tribute to "daddy's little girl."

Hey, pull up your pickup and sit on this hay bale and listen to ol' windswept Gwyneth Paltrow sing you a country ballad. It's called "Country Strong", and is from her new movie of the same name.

Will this plague of Mel Gibson phone rants never end? In the latest, Gibson tells his "glum cunt" ex-girlfriend that she is free to date others: "You can get it on with anybody else and your son can watch it."

We've heard Mel Gibson tell Oksana Grigorieva she "deserved" getting punched. Now, a fight about his daughter: "You hit me and you hit her, while she was in my hands." Mel's response: "You need a fucking kick up the ass."

"You know what mean is now, don't you?" Mel Gibson taunts ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva in the latest phone recording. Then, a revelation: "I don't have any fucking money... I have to sell my box at the Lakers game."

Remember the jacuzzi fight from Mel Gibson rant #2, in which he threatens to kill ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva over a hot tub date? Gibson's latest phone recording returns to the topic, with Gibson demanding a blowjob before he commits arson.

The third prong of Mel Gibson's phone-recorded self-immolation has arrived. A phone call in which he uses the word "wetback"—as well as calls Oksana Grigorieva a "cunt," "bitch," "whore," and every other abusive epithet in the books—has surfaced.

Last week, a jaw-dropping phone recording of Mel Gibson using the N-word surfaced online. Today, a second recording emerges: Eight minutes of Gibson threatening to kill ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva and saying she "fucking deserved" to be punched in the face.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness the end of Mel Gibson's career: The recording of Gibson telling his ex-girlfriend she resembles a "fucking pig in heat" and would be "raped by a pack of niggers" has emerged online.

Nicole lives in Manhattan. She met Stu at Soho House, a members-only meatpacking district club catering to overgrown frat boys, strivers, and i-bankers. Stu seemed "normal, funny, and nice." So she gave him her phone number. Hilarious horror ensued.

Glenn Beck has never been very tactful, but his four-minute tirade against Malia Obama this morning over her "Did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?" question regarding BP's oil leak represented a reprehensible new low. Audio inside. Update: Beck responds.

Would you like to hear Gloria Vanderbilt, 85-year-old mother of CNN silverfox Anderson Cooper, talk about "sucking cock"? Good, because you can! Vanderbilt's naughty book called Obession: An Erotic Tale has an audio version. Here's a sample via Newsweek.

As governor Mark Sanford's rhapsodizing about his affair mostly sounded like the back of a dull-ish romance novel, we thought it could use some spicing up. So, video guy Mike Byhoff synced it to steamy telenovela Sin Senos. Enjoy!

Movie mogul Harvey Weinstein has always resented the fact that peers made more money than him with what he deemed to be inferior films. These days, he's obviously overcome this problem by milking reality shows for millions to prop up his more artsy products; but he couldn't always be so sanguine. Here we have a priceless and EXCLUSIVE classic from the archives: a recording of a phone call between Weinstein and Disney exec Joe Roth, taped shortly after Michael Ovitz-a spectacular failure as head of Disney-was paid more than $100 million to leave the company in 1996. Weinstein is galled beyond belief (and perhaps a bit envious). "Let's quit today!" he jokes. Why, he works his ass off and what does he get? A fucking lecture. "Joe, you're a success, so therefore you're a failure in this business," Weinstein complains. Then he insults his fellow moguls: "Between Peter Guber and Mike Ovitz and everybody who fucked up...Everybody got wealthy on failure." Weinstein just cares too much about the films, you see; "We have character flaws that must be overcome," he sighs. Thanks to Project Runway, he's done so. Click to listen to the titan of Hollywood in all his expletive-spitting glory.

You think you have mommy issues? Meet Alexander, a 23-year-old teacher who just barely eked his way into a Thursday speed dating event at 230 Fifth featuring wealthy 35+ women all of whom had to show proof of at least $4 million in liquid assets or divorce settlements. Classy enough for you? Okay! As Dealbreaker tells it, Alex felt the $50 entry fee for "A Speed Date for Rich Women and Hot Men (Sugar Mamas and Boy Toys)" was a little steep, so he planned on skipping the whole sordid affair. His gross cougar stepmother was having none of that, so she called up the event's coordinator to strong-arm the guy into letting her cheapie stepson in. We got our hands on the voicemails. Take a listen to the first-we've removed identifying phone numbers to protect the twisted:
Click to view

The motivation for this selfless act of advocacy? After the jump, listen as many times as you like!