94-year-old Australian Phyllis Johnson was attacked by a rampaging, psycho "Big Red" kangaroo while she was hanging laundry in her backyard on Sunday. Johnson told the Courier-Mail that she "bashed it on the head but it kept going for me," and she was only saved when cops showed up and pepper sprayed its ass. Then her son, who clearly underestimated his badass mother, wanted her to go to the hospital:

Thanks to a a record rainfall and windstorm, there was a waterfall south of Sydney that started flowing backwards. It's hotter than hell all across America and now the water is flying up into the air in Australia? It seriously is the end of the world out there.

The only thing of note Mel Gibson has done in the last few years is get caught delivering racist, homophobic, and anti-Semitic rants. Well, now he has a gay brother to help defend him from critics. Meet Andrew Gibson, everyone.

Scientists are worried that Australia's koalas could become extinct due to a combination of global warming, being hit by cars, being eaten by dogs, and the rampant spread of Chlamydia among the koala community. And now you know.

Recently on Australia's version of the Today show, anchor Karl Stefanovic sat down for an interview with the Dalai Lama, during which he attempted a joke about the religious leader going into a pizza shop. That's when things got really awkward. [via Reddit]

Technology! Without it, we'd never be able to immortalize huge penises drawn on school lawns with weed killer. But thanks to the efforts of Google, a 2009 prank at Fairfield College in New Zealand lives on, much to the chagrin of principal Gerhard van Dyk, who says he plans to contact the internet search giant about the lawn dongs now appearing on Google Maps. Penis discoverer David McQuoid, who was looking for property when he stumbled across the phallus, says "at first I thought it was a large piece of art work." Well, yes, David.

After searching for two months, Australia's Department of Defense claims to have "lost" all but one of its files concerning UFO sightings, which were requested by a newspaper through the country's Freedom of Information laws. This leads us to two, equally plausible theories:

A reader sent in this clip from an Australian newscast last night. It begins with a short item about a lotto winner who showed up in a terrible Spider-Man costume to collect his prize, so he could remain anonymous. Pretty amusing already, but it gets better. The two anchors then share a few laughs over the eccentric guy, who happens to be Chinese, before the elder one launches into a cringe-inducing description of a Chinese person. Then watch how the other guy handles it. It feels like an episode of The Office, but it's real.

It's been a good few days for death stares in legislative sessions! Just a week after Rep. Patrick McHenry (R - N.C.) accused consumer advocate Elizabeth Warren of lying, provoking one of the great angry-shock faces of American politics, Australian opposition senator David Bushby meowed at his colleague, Labor senator Penny Wong. Meowed! Like, the actual noise. As you can see in the video of the incident, Wong was not pleased. If anyone ever asks you what the phrase "if looks could kill" means, please direct them to this GIF:

Being from New Jersey, I didn't even know waterspouts existed until today, and now, having seen this footage — captured from a helicopter by Australia's Channel 7 news — I don't think I'm ever going to go out onto the ocean again. These reportedly reached 2,000 feet, though they never touched land.

Planking, the "Internet craze" that's not really an Internet craze, is now spawning copycat moves like "pillaring" and "teapotting." How long until the media gets sick of puffing up the fake meme they created?

Everyone's freaking out about "planking," after an Australian kid died while attempting to lie face down on a balcony railing seven-stories up. How did a years-old meme become the hottest new deadly internet thing? It wasn't the internet's fault.

After ditching his jockey, jump-racing horse Banna Strand proved to be a little too good at leaping over tall barriers when he leaped over an 8-foot fence and landed in a crowd of spectators at the Warrnambool May Racing Carnival in Victoria, Australia.

A 17-year-old boy who threw eggs at Justin Bieber during a Sydney concert was arrested. He was charged with "breaking and entering, trespassing and malicious damage," because he had broken into the arena via the roof. [Yahoo]

Poor Stefan and Erika Svanstrom! The newly-married Swedish couple and their infant daughter set out on a four-month honeymoon in December and managed to come into contact with six different natural disasters.

John Travolta was rumored to fly Oprah and all her guests to Australia aboard a Qantas jet, but the airline's actual pilots are upset that the actor now appears in an in-flight safety video wearing a Qantas uniform.

Holy shit, Prince William and Kate Middleton might have a honeymoon destination in mind! The dashing prince, on a tour of cyclone-ravaged Queensland, Australia said he enjoys scuba diving and complained about the "dreadful" weather back home. Then, according to the Telegraph, he dropped the big one on a crowd in the coastal city of Cairns: "I will have to come back, maybe we'll have a honeymoon in Cairns?" And the crowd went wild.

Thanks to Phil Plait of Discover Magazine's Bad Astronomy blog, who flagged this amazing photo, we are now freaking out about bioluminescence, because what could possibly be cooler than algae that light up like this? Australian photographer Phil Hart took these photos in 2008-2009, after intense bushfires, torrential rain, deep flooding, and one algal outbreak in the Gippsland Lakes in Victoria all finally led to the arrival of the algae Noctiluca Scintillans, which produces light (well, bioluminescence) when the water moves. So Hart did the smart thing and took pictures. Lots of them. You can read the story here, and enjoy more of his photos here. Bioluminescence! Right?

Every year the Economist Intelligence Unit looks at all the cities in the world and ranks their livability based on stability, health care, culture and environment, education, and infrastructure. Which city came out on top?

On the Australian Today Show, innocent conversation about home invasions took a raunchy turn as the anchors described the various "long, stabby things" each keeps in their bedrooms. If only the American Today Show was this sexy!