Funny man Bill Maher, on his show Real Time with Bill Maher, said he's scared of a hot new trend in Britain: naming babies Mohammed. That's the most popular name for a baby boy there now, and Maher is "alarmed."

Florida mother Alexandra Tobias has pleaded guilty to killing her infant son after shaking him for crying while she was playing FarmVille on Facebook. She shook him, "smoked a cigarette to compose herself," and then shook him again. Yeesh.

Here is an odd, elderly-looking (2,000 year-old?) baby in church, dancing as if possessed by the Jesus Spirit. Give that baby a cigarette and tape it to a wall, it'll be the biggest thing on the internet!

Radioactive cancer! Marathon runners! Allergic Raisinets! Bad doctors! Deadly medicine! Teens fucking! Depressed moms! Tasty lungs! And whooping cough that never goes away! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but only if that baby shuts up!

A woman in France killed her child when she and 11 other members of her family jumped from their third-floor balcony because they thought they saw the devil. There had to be drugs involved in this, right?

Two British men today face sentencing for running an illegal DIY online sperm bank out of a home basement, after a woman filed a complaint over receiving a supposedly anonymous donors full name along with a syringe of his sperm.

The abortion debate has devolved to the zygote version of a LOLCat. A lady got an ultrasound, and her unborn child looked like it was smiling. Thus, "a baby can experience feelings such as happiness" earlier than previously thought.

Today we told you that the majority of babies are on Facebook. But should they be? Should babies be using the computer at all? Naturally reactions were polarized. So here's an argument for and an argument against.

Back in our day, you didn't get your first social networking presence until you were at least old enough to walk. But a new study shows 92 percent of American babies under 2 have a social networking presence.

Fitness infomercial lies! Fat blasters! Exercise time! America's depression! Infant sleep killers! Low fat cancer! ADHD genes! And stupid cats are bad! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—from a safe, fetal position!

Abbott Laboratories, the makers of Similac baby formula, have voluntarily recalled "fewer than five million" formula containers after beetles were found by two consumers and in a manufacturing plant. A little extra protein never hurt anyone, right? [Reuters]

Oh dear. Cincinnati police have released cellphone video of a 21-year-old mother coaching her two-year-old daughter to smoke what appears to be a joint. The tape was sent to Family Services by a concerned person who witnessed the incident.

A 54-year-old Parisian is either a modern Casanova, a fraud, or the French incarnation of the "anchor baby" bogeyman. He claims to have fathered 55 children, each with a different foreign-born, welfare-collecting mother. Expect this story on Fox News tonight.

Doctors in the Philippines say a newborn baby is OK after being found inside an airplane's trash can on a Gulf Air flight from Bahrain. An airport nurse said: "After he was cleaned, he let off a soft cry." [NYDN]

"Baby Lady Gaga Bunting Costume" including "1 Red baby vail [sic]": $39.99. The hell-baby nightmares you will inflict in everyone who sees your child: Priceless. Another picture after the jump.

The Pampers™ division of the mighty Procter & Gamble corporation has spent this entire year engaged in a harsh battle with angry diaper fundamentalists over its Drymax™ diapers. Now, Pampers has been vindicated! Will the war end peacefully?

Ladies: Have you been "bitten" by the "baby bug?" If so, blame those bitches at your work, for messing with your mind. A new study says that women are helplessly influenced by that baby-having of their social betters.

The Jones family wanted a second child and got quintuplets. Life is hectic as they try to move to a smaller home, but amidst all the chaos with the kids and finances, they feel blessed and show so much love.

House musician Riva Starr has released a new video for European club favorite "I Was Drunk." The video for the popular house song features a baby wearing a mustache and singing along to the song. Does this kid have parents?

A new study says that less than one-third of baby boys in US hospitals last year were circumcised—down from 56% in 2006, and about two-thirds in the 80s and 90s. Just letting you know, lest anyone get surprised. [NYT]