baby

Meet Jann's Kids: Ellie and Ennis

Jesse · 03/15/06 01:31PM

The people have spoken, and you've picked a name for Jann and Matt's forthcoming baby: Ellie Wenner if it's a girl; Ennis Wenner if it's a boy. The girls' category saw some action: Hunter started in the lead; Jan took over first place for a while; and then today — probably boosted by the National Magazine Award announcements, Ellie pulled ahead for the win. (Which is sort of too bad: Jann has some Ellies already, but he doesn't have a Hunter anymore.) On the boys' side, however, there was never any doubt: Ennis was always on top.

You Can Still Name Jann's Kid

Jesse · 03/15/06 09:54AM

Don't forget that the polls are still open to pick a name for Jann and Matt's bouncing bundle of joy, expected this August. (Even better, our tech guys promise the polls server will be working all day today.) So if you haven't yet voted on your favorite names for the kid — one boy's name, one girl's name — go do it now. It seems clear a boy will be Ennis Wenner-Nye, but it's still tight in the girl's race: Will it be Hunter Wenner or Jan Wenner? Cast your ballot now, and let your voice be heard.

Papa Was a Rolling Stone: Jann and Matt Will Definitely Be Daddies

Jesse · 03/14/06 04:30PM

Finally, confirmation. Someone within Wenner Media backs up Liz Smith's claim: Jann and Matt are indeed expecting, and the due date is in August. It's not an adoption, we're told, but rather a surrogacy. In which case we've got to presume — not that we have any direction knowledge, thank God — that Matt gets to be the father, as Jann already has a few kids of his own. And the mother? We got no idea. "Probably some very well-compensated, genetically-blessed woman," theorizes our source.

Name Jann's Kid: Choose or Lose!

Jesse · 03/14/06 11:30AM

Liz Smith says Jann Wenner and his boytoy, Matt Nye, are expecting a baby this summer. (Has anyone other than Liz Smith said this? Which is to say: Do we have any reason to think this is actually, you know, true?)

Name Jann's Kid

Jesse · 03/13/06 11:43AM

Jann Wenner has an eye for what America wants. (See: Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, Hunter Thompson, Annie Leibovitz.) But these days it takes more than just hunches to run a successful magazine company. There are focus groups, there's cover testing, there are MRI studies — there are all sorts of ways to quantitatively measure what's going to work. And what's a more important decision than naming your kid?

Neat Freak Jann Wenner's Immaculate Conception

Jesse · 03/13/06 09:33AM

Jann Wenner and Matt Nye are having a baby. Or at least so reports Liz Smith, who says the baby will arrive this summer and then says nothing more. What might she have said?

Baby Brangelina Will Have a Vagina

Jessica · 01/25/06 04:48PM

Only because we feel obligated to keep you abreast the important matters of national conversation, we'll relay the following: According to today's spanking-new issue of Life & Style, the inevitably sexy lovechild of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will be a girl. The information was accidentally revealed by Pitt's younger sister, who is now dead to them all.

Remainders: Baby Violet Affleck's First Headshot?

Jessica · 12/07/05 06:00PM

• We've no idea if this is even halfway accurate or not, but the picture at right is circulating the internets as that of recent celebrity spawn Violet Affleck. If it turns out that this is just a civilian baby, we don't care: we just wuv the cutesy-poo baby cuddle-bug. Crap, now our ovaries are twitching... [Violet Ann Affleck]
• Bad news for fans of the Cartoon Network — no, not that Cartoon Network, but the one that delivered pot to your door. Seems your delivery dude got busted. [Newsday]
• Downtown auteur love dies another death, as the rich-hipster romance of director Spike Jonze and Yeah Yeah Yeah's lead freak Karen O. ends in a miserable implosion. [Productshop NYC]
• Available at the CNN store in the Time Warner Center, it's the CNN Holy Cross Necklace. Get it for a Fox News fan you love. [Encyclopedia Hanasiana]
• Okay, fine: Here are the Jennifer Aniston topless photos. We found her GQ side-boob shot to be far more flattering. [Save Manny]
• Rapper Foxy Brown is almost completely deaf. Frankly, we always assumed most hardcore rappers were. [Starpulse]

'Us Weekly' Develops Magical Powers

Jesse · 12/02/05 11:20AM

No wonder Us Weekly was first with news of the Bennifer Garfleck baby. Apparently the constant pressure for celeb scoops has forced Janice Min's staff to develop clairvoyance.

Bennifer Garfleck Have Boring Baby

Jessica · 12/02/05 08:30AM

Yeah, we know, the Starbucks-endorsed Hollywood couple of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner had their baby girl yesterday. We just didn't care, really: a new life born into the pantheon of celebrity offspring? Bah. They had to induce labor — yawn!

Donald Trump Fires His Unborn Child

Jessica · 09/27/05 10:00AM

Look outside, Manhattan; is it not positively gorgeous outside? It's a beautiful, innocent fall day — MARRED BY TRAGEDY. Sound familiar? It should. Donald Trump has managed to ejaculate, yet again, in the womb of a beautiful woman. And today's Post insensitively reports the "happy news," as if we're to celebrate the impregnation of Melania Knauss, as if the spreading of that man's bombastic seed is a good thing?

BREAKING: Britney Spears Has Baby Boy

Jessica · 09/14/05 04:41PM

All over Manhattan, celebrity weekly editors are losing their shit: Us Weekly wins the Federletus Cup, reporting that Britney Spears gave birth at 12:15 today to a healthy baby boy. Sadly, the pop star and her houseboy husband have not decided to name the child Federletus, but are reportedly leaning towards dubbing the seedling Preston Michael Spears Federline. Because names like Preston help to gloss over the hard reality of a baby born wearing a wifebeater.

BREAKING: Britney Giving Birth!

Jessica · 09/14/05 01:45PM


OMGOMGOMGOMG — could it be true?! Right now, in a cheetos-filled room at Cedars-Sinai, the Federletus is quite possibly rearing its ghetto head from a hastily-carved opening in Britney Spears' womb. We'll keep you updated as soon as we know more, but right now we have to go retrieve hubby Kevin Federline from Starbucks before he misses this beautiful moment.