When we last checked in on Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham, she had started working at an Austin, Tex. strip club as "research" for some unannounced book or movie she may participate in at some point in the theoretical future—just like Jennifer Aniston! Well, it's apparently not just research anymore: Both Farrah and the club report she's signed six-figure contract as a celebrity dancer.

Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham is reportedly working as a dancer at an Austin, Tex. strip club, but she swears it's not what it looks like. She took the gig for "research" purposes, "in the same way Jennifer Aniston researched her role as a stripper."

Backdoor Teen Mom Farrah Abraham is spending her 14th minute of fame promoting the first book in her Celebrity Sex Tape trilogy(!) of erotic novels, based on the "private" sex tape she made with porn star James Deen. Advance reader copies of In The Making have arrived, and they confirm what you already suspected: Life is suffering and everything is terrible.

If Teen Mom returns for a season 5, it will be without its most notorious star. Previous cast members are currently in negotiations to return for season 5, but Farrah Abraham, who leveraged her Teen Mom fame into two sex tapes, isn't among them. Apparently, MTV felt she "set a bad example."

Teen Mom alum and "sex tape" maker Farrah Abraham is on this season of VH1's Celebrity Rehab replacement, Couples Therapy. Except she's not in a couple, so for her this show is therapy therapy, which is to say theater (she's into that less-is-more style of acting where you start to whisper at times of heightened emotion). She apparently conned producers into letting her on the show without a significant other. I'm sure producers were willfully conned, though, figuring that having her on the show solo in any capacity would make for good TV. They weren't wrong.

Farrah Abraham continues her it's-not-a-porno media tour regarding the porno that she did with porno god James Deen, which includes a quintessentially porno shot of her porno vagina squirting porniferously. Abraham maintains that Backdoor Teen Mom is a sex tape, something originally intended for her own private use that should never require, oh you know, a media tour. She maintains this, you see, because Farrah Abraham thinks she is smarter than you. What a clown.

As number-one-mom Farrah Abraham continues to act like her "secret private sex tape" with porn giant James Deen was leaked to Vivid Entertainment against her will — "I KNOW WHAT'S OUT- Don't talk to me about it:) Thanks #XXX," she just tweeted — the company best known for making Kim Kardashian a thing has finally unleashed upon an unsuspected public the full force of Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom.