Henry Blodget was a famous Merrill Lynch analyst who got rich by hyping internet stocks in the 1990s until Eliot Spitzer caught him lying. Then Eliot Spitzer got caught choking hookers, and now they're hanging out on the internet together.

Fuck you, Wall Street. Fuck you for being so rich that you have money to spend. But fuck you more for not spending it, so we don't hate you. Thank you, Wall Street Wives—you're still rich, entitled, free-spending terrors!

Eliot Spitzer always felt most comfortable as an outsider crusading against entrenched interests. He felt second-most-comfortable wearing black socks and screwing hookers bareback while choking them. Two is over, but Goldman Sachs' gluttony offers him another shot at Number One.

Bank of America posted a $3.2 billion profit last quarter, and Citigroup earned $4.3 billion. The friend you lent $50 last week so he could afford groceries is showing you his new iPhone. Punch him in the face.

Goldman Sachs earned $3.5 billion in profits last quarter. Also, it earned a huge fucking target on its back.