Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP garden plan raises eyebrows. Leo and Bar Rafaeli break up. Lindsay Lohan's probation report says she was secretly drunk this whole time. Thursday gossip catches Miley Cyrus' attention.

Jennifer Aniston's key grip ex-boyfriend confesses he was too vanilla for her. Katy Perry's Jesus freak parents banned deviled eggs. Charlie Sheen interviews now cost $1 million. Wednesday gossip is out of touch.

Lindsay Lohan breaks her silence—and denies getting $10,000 to pose for the paparazzi. Bar Rafaeli laments "extremely skinny models." Michael Jackson's kids start school. Samantha Ronson's dog ate another dog. Tuesday gossip can't stop howling.

The perfect storm that is the Jersey Shore boys' Terry Richardson Interview photoshoot is finally out. In the intervening weeks, Richardson's sex scandals made the Jersey Shore pairing more appropriate—and Bar Rafaeli's sandwich fellatio a little grosser.

Israeli nationalist organization Lehava "provides assistance to Jewish girls in relationships with non-Jews," helping "extricate" them from goyim relationships. Their latest target: Israeli supermodel and Leonardo DiCaprio girlfriend Bar Rafaeli.

If a fight broke out, who would survive? Brad colludes with Angelina's kinda incestuous brother. Matthew Fox's stripper may have faulty memory. Madonna's boytoy stands in a corner and cries. Another day, another reality star sex tape. Thursday gossip arrives.

Wedding bells for the stylishly disheveled; Lady Gaga wears a black leotard to mourn McQueen; James Cameron works on Avatar's prequel novel; Prince William sports "suspicious" hair; Gummy Bear gets evicted. Tuesday gossip has two weddings and a funeral.

Joe Francis' tax problems: no more. The Giuliani's make their migration nest nice. Brad Pitt's pot policies. The Eternal Sunshine of Tiger Woods' penis doesn't last. People cares about Michael Jackson's kids. Presenting your Valentine's Day Morning Gossip Roundup:

We knew that newsstands have been treating GQ's July cover, featuring a nude-but-not-all-hanging-out Sacha Baron Cohen is like porn. But a tipster at a Hudson News in Manhattan has noticed the decision has lead to some interesting juxtapositions.