Obama looked damn good at last night's State Dinner for Chinese president Hu Jintao. Maybe a little too good. His salt-and-pepper locks seemed noticeably darker. Did Barack Obama get a quickie dye job?

The State Department has released a list of gifts to federal employees, including President Obama, from foreign governments in 2009. (Diplomats have been playing with them for a full year.) So which foreign dignitary gave our president the cheapest gift?

New Hawaii Gov. Neil Abercrombie vowed to settle the question of Barack Obama's birth certificate last month, and his "investigation" has found that yes, a recording of Obama's birth "exists in the archives, written down." The conspiracy theorists remain skeptical!

The National Enquirer knows why President Obama is "scary skinny": He's "secretly battling stomach parasites." Worms slurping at the lining of your stomach: hot new D.C. diet craze! We hear Joe Biden swears by the festering maggot cleanse. [Previously]

[The red carpet is pulled into place to greet Chinese President Hu Jintao, who arrived at Andrews Air Force Base today and will meet with President Obama at the White House tomorrow. Image via Getty]

[Michelle Obama was all high fives after Barack, Malia and Sasha finished singing "Happy Birthday" to her while observing Martin Luther King Jr. Day at a local middle school. Image via Getty]

As we learned earlier, everyone wasn't happy with last night's memorial service for the victims of the Arizona shooting. And by "everyone," I mean Fox News. Tonight, Jon Stewart knocked down the network's ridiculous criticism of the event. Watch inside.

Insufferable talk radio blowhard Laura Ingraham graced Bill O'Reilly with her appearance on tonight's Factor for a chat about President Obama's speech at last night's post-shooting memorial in Tucson, Arizona. Her thoughts? It was a shameless "campaign rally." Watch inside.

Obama gave a speech today at the memorial service for the victims of last week's Arizona shooting. The debate surrounding the shooting centers on the 'tone' of political discourse, but the tone of this event was pretty damn confusing.

America is healing: Arizona Rep. Ben Quayle will ride Air Force One with the "worst president in history."

A judge yesterday dismissed copyright lawsuits between appropriating "street artist" Shepard Fairey and the non-profit Associated Press over an image of Barack Obama that Fairey lifted and profited from. The judge cited a "suggestion of settlement" for his decision. [Image:AP]

[French President Nicolas Sarkozy reminds us of one of the taunting Gauls from that Monty Python sketch when getting all up in President Obama's grill at the White House today. Like Barack doesn't have enough going on. Image via Getty]

Who is this anonymous author, with "vast" White House insider knowledge, behind the upcoming O: A Presidential Novel? Publisher Simon & Schuster released more information today! But now it seems more like a hoax.

At the end of last night's Family Guy, we're treated to an unusual appearance by "President Obama." He comes out in an Elvis-like suit, singing "You Gotta Be Sincere" to a screaming audience of adoring females.

The AP is reporting that the rumored deal is done: Bill Daley, the "business friendly" Democratic royal who stands for everything liberals hate, will be Barack Obama's new chief of staff. Should you be enraged by this?

Someone in the House gallery during today's Ritual Reading of the Constitution shouted "Except Obama!" and "Help us Jesus!" when they got to the presidential eligibility requirements. Michele Bachmann was briefly worried that the world could hear her thoughts.

Everyone is in a tizzy because Barack Obama dared to wear flip-flops while on vacation. Really? Just so there's never confusion on this matter again, we're going to break down the rules for when it's appropriate to wear them.

Class warrior Barack Obama thinks that 345% of the median household income is "relatively modest pay."

Robert Gibbs, the nation's highest-paid kindergarten teacher, will resign in February, the New York Times reports. He says he'll continue to advise Obama and intends to get working on his 2012 re-election campaign.

Poor President Obama! All of his besties are leaving the White House. Advisor David Axelrod and Press Secretary Robert Gibbs are likely leaving soon, Gibbs as early as Friday, at which point Obama may announce a new Chief of Staff.