The House of Representatives just approved the $858 billion tax package brokered between Republicans and President Obama! How will Americans in the lowest, highest, and median income brackets be spending that money? We break it down in a handy chart.

Barack Obama and his regal wife Michelle are not on the invite list for Prince William's wedding next year. The royal says he wants to invite "ordinary citizens." French president Nicolas Sarkozy will get invited, however. Ordinary indeed!

A lot happened in Washington, D.C. on Thursday night! In the House, representatives passed President Obama's huge tax package, while in the Senate, Republicans embarrassed Democrats, again. Let's take a look at the fortunate and the unfortunate:

President Obama Jon Bon Jovi to the White House Council for Community Solutions. What will Jon do? Just shake his mane and talk about how great charity work is. Still, it's good to be wanted—dead or alive.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with another harsh—and funny—segment about President Obama. Stewart spouted off a laundry list of Obama's "mistakes," before zeroing in on his biggest one: letting Bill Clinton take over a press briefing.

Because of you people and your endless legislative demands — gays in the military this, tax cuts that — President Obama may have to delay his Hawaiian vacation a few days so he can sign all this stuff. Happy, America?

The Senate is voting on whether to move forward with President Obama's tax compromise, and will likely approve it. But how is this grab-bag of taxcuttery even polling? Quite well! Not necessarily for its contents, though.

[The Obamas had front row seats alongside Santa at the National Christmas Tree lighting in D.C. last night. Image via AP]

Shortly after Barack Obama and Bill Clinton finished their meeting today, Obama left for a Christmas party, and Clinton held a Q&A in the White House briefing room by himself. Sure, why not? Here's a clip of Obama ditching him.

Barack Obama has invited Bill Clinton to the White House for a political strategy session today, where Clinton will teach the president how to move to the center. Or at least they'll have a nice lunch together and catch up.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs hasn't "seen or witnessed evidence of any smoking" on Barack Obama's part "in probably nine months."

Tonight, Jon Stewart tackled the increasingly prominent issue of, well, the fact that President Obama is pissed off. Obama's pissed off at Republicans, obviously, but—as Stewart pointed out—it seems he hates his own supporters now, too! Watch inside.

On last night's Mythbusters, our beleaguered commander in chief visited to lay down a gauntlet for Jamie and Adam. Their task? Build a working version of Archimedes' solar ray to defeat terrorism... or teach kids about science or something.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with a segment about the recent deal in Congress, aided by President Obama, that extended the Bush-era tax cuts. Specifically, Stewart mocked Democrats and Obama for their hyperbolic vilification of Republicans. Watch inside.

Yesterday, Democrat and Republican lawmakers—guided by President Obama—reached a deal that extended tax cuts for all Americans (including the rich). Congress also agreed to continue its spending. Tonight, Jon Stewart pointed out the inherent incongruence of this.

Barack Obama gave a definitive press conference this afternoon — excoriating Republican "hostage takers" and "sanctimonious" Democrats alike, and outlining a clear strategy for centrism. And he kicked it off by getting angry.

Barack Obama is giving a press conference right now defending his tax deal and taking questions. Write mean things here!

President Obama's lip has quickly healed from his terrible basketball injury, which required 12 stitches to repair. His lips are once again both supple and divine, so you can stop worrying. Phew! Click to see an extreme close-up, perverts.

Barack Obama just announced his final deal with Republican leaders on extending the Bush tax cuts, unemployment benefits, and other issues, after secret negotiations. Here are the details. In short: There won't be much government revenue next year.

Americans approve of George W. Bush's presidency over Barack Obama's now, since the latter hasn't fixed the damage from George W. Bush's presidency yet.