The last time Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu visited the White House he was coldly received, which freaked everyone out. For today's visit, the White House orchestrated a much warmer photo-op of the two acting like best friends, to show unity!

Despite tough talk from the White House, BP continues to pull in hundreds of millions of dollars from US military fuel contracts, and at least one new contract has been signed since the Deepwater Horizon rig explosion.

Ted Nugent was a special guest on Hannity last night, where he said "we, the Tea Partiers" are sick of Obama "spitting on the U.S. Constitution, the Bill Of Rights, the Ten Commandments, the Golden Rule." You tell 'em, Nuge!

The first major ranking of American presidents to include Barack Obama has come out, and whaddaya know, he's #15. Okay, sure! That's not a bad spot to be very prematurely ranked. But where does your favorite president (Nixon? Coolidge?) rank?

Rise up—it's Tanning Salon Tax Day! All across America, men and women are being persecuted for their choice of skin tone by that commie Barack Obama. Hands off our tan lines, and pass the Banana Boat© spf 0!

Delightfully insane congresswoman Michele Bachmann has found more incontrovertible proof that Barack Obama is the Worst President of All Time: he is creating a so-called "global economy" where countries are "bound" to each other, economically. Who will stop this madman?

Tonight, Jon Stewart bounced back and forth between a few topics during his opening segment, from the United States' World Cup loss to Ghana, to the G20 Summit, to awkward beer bottle clanking moments with President Obama. Video inside.

Last time we saw Indonesia biopic Little Obama, the president was clinging to the torso of a flamboyant man in a pink shirt. Here's the official trailer, featuring schoolyard fights, adolescent flirtation, and a whispery martial arts instructor.

[Barack Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev stuff their faces with (open-faced?) hamburgers at Ray's Hell Burger in Arlington, Virginia this afternoon. Medvedev is now a Real American. Image via AP.]

NBC News reports that President Obama has "relieved" Gen. Stanley McChrystal of his command in Afghanistan. Lucky. He can play golf, drink Bud Light Lime, not be in Afghanistan, etc. And the AP hears that David Petraeus will replace him.

Barack Obama will speak from the Rose Garden at 1:30, perhaps about Stanley McChrystal's fate.

Stanley McChrystal left his secret meeting with Barack Obama today after about 20 minutes, and no one will tell us what happened yet! How rude. McChrystal, however, did leave the White House before a scheduled 11:35 Afghanistan war council meeting.

The New York Forum, a conference focused on the "continuing economic crises," started yesterday! And good ol' Rupert Murdoch, President and CEO of Fox News' parent company News Corp, kicked things off by calling President Obama "irresponsible." Sounds fun, right?

Tonight on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart opened with two different segments related to topics currently in the news—the controversy over General Stanley McChrystal's Rolling Stone profile, and the one over President Obama's frequent golf outings. Videos inside.

[Barack Obama deals with a pesky infiltrator during his briefing about health care reform at the White House today. Maybe they should budget more money for ointment. Image via Getty]

Time's Joe Klein tells CNN that Stanley McChrystal has submitted his resignation, to the president! CNN has yet to confirm this, but wouldn't you trust Joe Klein with your life? Update: Video of Obama commenting on McChrystal, after the jump.

Rolling Stone has published its big Stanley McChrystal "insubordination" piece online now, and he just trashes Barack Obama throughout the whole thing! Well, not really. There's a bigger thing getting trashed here called "the War in Afghanistan."

General Stanley McChrystal, commander of US and NATO forces in Afghanistan, along with aides in an upcoming Rolling Stone profile blasts senior Obama administration officials, like Vice President Joe Biden: "Biden? Did you say: Bite me?" Update: Story is online.

Possibly-bald Office of Management and Budget Director Peter Orszag will step down in July, the first cabinet-level official to leave the Obama administration. Orszag, who oversaw two budgets, is engaged to GMA anchor Bianna Golodryga, and is really tall. [Bloomberg]

This weekend, while terrible things continued happening in America and its waters, BP CEO Tony Hayward went on a yachting race, and Barack Obama played golf. Are you objectively hating them both in equal measures, right now?