"Washington insiders" tell The Telegraph that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel will resign later this year over "frustrations" with the Obama inner circle. Or maybe he'll resign because he's tired of anonymously-sourced articles speculating about his job safety.

That whole uproar about Senator Joe Lieberman's bill to give the president an internet "kill switch?" He says it's all just "misinformation," and only wants the president to have the power to "disconnect the American Internet" when bad things happen.

It was a bloody week in Mexico. On Monday alone, 96 people were killed in drug related violence, and yesterday police found 12 decomposing bodies inside a cave in Cancun. It could easily get worse.

Many liberals were upset with Barack Obama for not using Tuesday's Oval Office address to pressure the Senate into passing a cap-and-trade system or carbon tax. But may he have a "secret plan" in the works, as some are suggesting?

Incredibly narrow, self-centered Washington socialite Sally Quinn still has access to the Washington Post publishing system, apparently, and has tricked an editor into running her latest stupid, hilarious column: why Joe Biden and Hillary Clinton should (and will) switch jobs.

Today, CNN reported that President Obama's Tuesday address failed because it was written at a 10th grade level and, therefore, too smart for us idiot Americans. Tonight, Stephen Colbert dumbed it down in the most hilarious way possible. Video inside.

[Obama met with BP executives at the White House earlier this evening, after spending the past 58 days playing golf and hanging out with Bono.] (via White House Flickr)

Scandal! Republican operatives have obtained Barack Obama's personal planner and leaked it in a new attack ad. It appears that the only thing Obama did during the oil spills' 58 days was hang out with celebrities and golf!

The weak, spineless worst president ever, whose abysmal speech yesterday eliminated any hope for American prosperity for countless generations, is such an evil corporatist that he's... found a way to make BP pay claims. Will he ever "show leadership"?

America's greatest journalism show Fox & Friends had Newt Gingrich on this morning to discuss, among other things, Obama's call for "prayer" in last night's speech. Wasn't it offensive for this notorious God-hating monster to suddenly ask for His help?

[BP CEO Tony Hayward, along with various other BP chairmen, presidents, executives and counsels, enter the White House for their first meeting with Barack Obama. A very tense Rose Garden press conference will take place around 12:15. Image via AP.]

[BP executives will meet President Obama today, after a nationally televised scolding and news that 60,000 barrels of crude are being pumped into the Gulf of Mexico every day. Image via Getty]

Tonight, Jon Stewart called out President Obama for not only not living up to his campaign-era promises to reverse many of the Bush Administration's war-related human rights policies, but also attempting to introduce new, even more harsh ones. Video inside.

President Obama gave a 20-minute address about the BP oil spill tonight, discussing the recovery efforts and the need for new energy policy. So what fun new policies can we expect? Carbon tax? Automatic murder of BP executives? A horse?

Following President Obama's address tonight regarding the Gulf oil spill, Bill O'Reilly welcomed level-headed genius Sarah Palin on the Factor, and Palin said that Obama's top priority is to "use this crisis to increase the cost of energy." Videos inside.

Someone in the White House has finally convinced Barack Obama to do a primetime address about the oil spill. He'll be in the Oval Office. Fancy! But can we expect to hear anything new? Will he "act angrily" enough?

BP CEO Tony Hayward, the guy who's so much fun to yell at, has finally made it big! He'll meet Barack Obama on Wednesday, at the White House, before his big congressional "grilling" on Thursday. Tony knows all the bigshots!

[Barack Obama and Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour enjoy a delicious "snowball" treat in Gulfport, Mississippi today, after looking at the horrible oil spill wreckage everywhere. Doesn't Haley Barbour look tickled! Image via AP.]

When BP executives come to Washington this week to be scolded by xenophobic President Obama, they'll be told to set up an escrow account for oil spill victims' claims. Another week of fuming British editorials will follow. [Politico]

Minnesota's lunatic congressmonster, Michele Bachmann, was on a little radio program this morning talking about our sinister president Barack Obama and she essentially asserted that he is the worst president ever. Then she threatened to karate-kill him. Oh boy.