Tonight on The Daily Show, everything was gay, gay, gay! First, Jon Stewart discussed how President Obama was heckled for not yet repealing 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' (ugh). Then, a crazy man attacked Senator Lindsey Graham's sexuality! Video inside.

He was only using her for her fame. Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt have a flirt-off. Ashton and Demi party with New York's Foursquare fanatics. Sandra Bullock pulls a Tiger Woods. Tuesday's gossip roundup checks in and out.

The White House chief of staff says he will be mayor of Chicago eventually, because Rahmbo gets what he wants every time. Yesterday he told Charlie Rose, "at some point that will be something I'll do." [WSJ, Getty]

Goldman Sachs has hired Barack Obama's old White House counsel, Gregory Craig. Politico hears that Craig wasn't hired "just because he's well-connected." He also has his own car which he can use to drive to himself to the courtroom. [Politico]

Heckling: Like talking, only louder and more disruptive. You do it when you really want to get your point across. Today at a fundraiser for California Senate candidate Barbara Boxer, Obama was heckled... by the good guys!

Reporter Joseph Curl of the sinking Washington Times is tackling the tough subjects, like why President Obama skipped the funeral of the late Polish president. Maybe it's because of the massive ash cloud preventing most European air travel?

I cannot wait for April 26, when Shanghai's Obama Entertainment Club opens. This is surely why Obama constantly bows to Chinese people. Visit the official website (© 2010 Obarma Club) for some awesome embedded music that you cannot turn off.

Bill Clinton says he's too old to be a good Supreme Court pick for Obama.

Fiscally conservative Tea Partiers just can't seem to nail down a message. They hate government spending, but want Obama to shell out more money so astronauts can play with big, expensive toys in outer space. Maybe they're just bored retirees?

Continuing his never-ending quest to undermine traditional marriage, President Obama issued a memo ordering most hospitals to honor patients' visitation wishes, meaning that gay homos can now visit their sick and dying gay homo lovers. Next stop: bestiality. [Pic via]

Thousands of white people descended upon Washington, DC today to protest Kenyan socialism, or something, and where was President Obama? Oh, you know, in Florida, just cold chillin' with Gloria Estefan and talking shit about the Tea Party.

The president's tax return shows he made $5.5 million last year, mostly on book sales. That's not even counting his $1.4 million Nobel Peace Prize purse, transferred to charity. Obviously, he paid more taxes than like 100 teabaggers combined.

A year-old, incorrect story about Barack Obama "canceling" the National Day of Prayer made the rounds today. Meanwhile, in reality, Obama's Justice Department was defending the Day of Prayer to a U.S. District Court that just ruled it unconstitutional.

Hey, there's a Tea Party going on in Washington DC right now. Old white people are responsibly protesting socialism and also the fact that our president is Kenyan. Pic via Dave Weigel. (One more from Ana Marie Cox!)

Tonight, Stephen Colbert did a scathing exposé of President Obama's communist-like bowing via footage of Obama bowing to international leaders (and even his own dog). To Colbert, Obama's bowing is yet another example of how the terrorists are winning.

Tonight, Jon Stewart took Fox News to task for its focus on the Nuclear Security Summit's logo and assertion that it was a crescent moon/nod to muslim countries before giving the network a taste of its own medicine. Video inside.

When we were young, our parents only let us watch one hour of TV a day. We complained and complained. But compared to the technological limits the Obamas put on their daughters, we were living in a crazy futureworld.

American Thinker blogger's shocking discovery: Barack Obama pretended to attend a non-existent soccer game in a crime-ridden neighborhood! Subsequent updates prove President attended real soccer game in nice neighborhood. Lesson: never trust liberal media. (Rush Limbaugh eventually picked it up.)

The President has learned a lot in Washington. But perhaps most impressive is his gift for the age-old DC tradition of political backslapping. Here is NYT photographer Luke Sharrett's time-lapse slideshow of Obama greeting 46 moochy foreign delegates. [NYT, Getty]

Hillary Clinton's people are "warm" to speculation she'll be nominated to John Paul Stevens' Supreme Court seat, says Politico, but the White House says no way, since the idea makes as little sense as it did in May and September.