Mediate has made a shocking discovery: Obama smooched Diane Sawyer during an ABC News Interview tonight! It was like a current events-themed Harlequin novel over there. What's more, Obama has a history of stealing kisses from powerful ladies.

On Wednesday, the president's first State of the Union address faces off against a geek's infomercial for absurdly expensive pieces of plastic. The jobless, broke, physically ill citizenry of this country is, naturally, way into the shiny plastic bits.

President Barack Obama shakes hands with Khloe Kardashian during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, Monday, Jan. 25, 2010, during a ceremony honoring the Los Angeles Lakers 2008-2009 NBA basketball champions. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)

Barack Obama is turning into a fiery populist! He is a regular Huey Long out there, promising to give the masses whatever they want. As long as what they want is "automatic opt-out contributions to retirement plans."

Barack Obama is a BIG FAN of the blogs! "Offbeat" blogs, even! OMG. So exciting. Shadowy White House spinmasters have finally leaked to the Washington Post the big Obama Fave Offbeat Blog List!

Summoned for jury duty in suburban Chicago, Barack Obama reportedly sent notice that he could not make it. They say the deliberation room was too small for his teleprompter. OR: The prospect of building a twelve-person consensus intimidated him. [AP]

Armed with the knowledge that it might take the '94 Dream Team to get legislation past the senate after Scott "Big Daddy" Brown's victory, President Obama's bringing his political ringers in. Also: raging at the (Supreme Court) machine.

The President is taking questions at an Ohio town hall. He gave a feisty speech.

Democrats should either ram through a vote before Brown is seated or pass the Senate bill and improve it through reconciliation. Barack Obama just took the first option off the table and Barney Frank has ruled out the second.

Barack Obama was sworn in as our first foreign-born Muslim President one year ago today. He gave a pretty nice speech that everyone has already forgotten. It is too bad he was already a huge failure, one week in!

Has it really been a year since Obama was inaugurated? Not yet. In 22 minutes it will be, though. Tonight, Jon Stewart and Larry Wilmore took a look back at Obama's first year. Key lesson: We need new Obama jokes.

[The president visits school kids in Virginia today to see if any of them want to run for senator of Massachusetts in 2012; image via Getty]

Tonight on CNN, a special two-hour edition of Larry King Live is underway. The official point of the broadcast is to raise money for the victims of the Haiti earthquake. Unofficially, it's about the celebrities and their precious "Tweet Suite."

On January 27, the president of the United States will outline plans for pressing issues like the deficit, immigration, maybe global warming. The same day, the CEO of Apple will hold up new, expensive plastic gadget. Who wins?

Barack Obama's first State of the Union address will be on Wednesday, January 27. Just in time to not sign a health care reform bill!

The president has finally tweeted. Barack Obama's first-ever personally-issued tweet concerned disaster relief in Haiti. It's a worthy topic for any sort of communications debut, so we're sure Obama wasn't trying to reward Twitter Inc. for spanking Karl Rove.

Yesterday, Barack Obama announced that George W. Bush and Bill Clinton were going to be appointed to head up a major fundraising effort for Haiti. Bush and Clinton appeared together on Face the Nation after. Cute presidential hijinks ensued.

Obama's upcoming Newsweek editorial ("Why Haiti Matters") is online. Near the end: "In the aftermath of disaster, we are reminded that life can be unimaginably cruel....That "time and chance" happen to us all." He could've just ended it there. [Newsweek]

Barack Obama will "write" a Newsweek cover story on Haiti. That is stupid.

Breaking news from the Washington Post: President Obama says "let me be clear" a lot.