The Secret Service detained a man at a Maryland town hall yesterday carrying a sign reading, "'Death To Obama, Death To Michelle And Her Two Stupid Kids." Why don't Republicans at least say, "Don't threaten to kill the president"?

Barack Obama is fed up with the crazy stuff people are saying about health care on the internet, so he's decided to unleash the power of viral e-mail and put everything straight with a highly forwardable fact-check.

Just before midnight, a "note" was posted on Sarah Palin's Facebook page titled, "Concerning the 'Death Panels.'" Predictably, the media latched onto it and reported her thoughts. However, there's a problem: there's no way in hell Sarah Palin wrote it.

As we learned during the Bush administration, the only legitimate role the federal government can play in stimulating the economy is sending everyone in America a check. That's always fiscally responsible, too. So why do Democrats hate simple economics?

The AP has a report out tonight containing some sobering but entirely predictable information: according to ATF sources, militia groups concentrated in the South, Midwest and Northwest are growing rapidly as wild conspiracy theories fuel the spread of paranoia.

The protesters at America's health care town halls are scary, what with their guns, apocalyptic posturing and talk of blood. The footage continues to come in, and we continue to sift out the especially disturbing bits.

[On most days a photo like this would be simple pandering to Obamaphilia. Today, when deranged lunatics have hijacked the slow August news cycle, we'll call it fair and balanced. The president at his New Hampshire rally, via Getty]

MSNBC just aired video of a man with a pistol strapped to his leg waiting for Barack Obama to arrive at a townhall in New Hampshire.

In the event you or someone you know happens to be one of the jaded naysayers who still doesn't believe that Barack Obama is actually Adolf Hitler, this website should dispel any lingering doubts. [ObamaIsLiterallyHitler]

Go Utah! Only a fraction of you are crazy! It is initially surprising that conservative, lily-white Utah is less nuts than, say, Virginia. But when you think about it for a minute, it makes sense.

Do you buy the cover story about the New York Times firing heroic famous person Ben Stein over a "conflict of interest?" You are so naive. This was a preemptive hit, to protect Barack Obama, our dictator.

Fox News posted an astonishing 50% jump in profit last quarter amid a disastrous advertising recession, and it's basically the only thing making money in Rupert Murdoch's empire. Why? Because the GOP has cratered.

Oh, look, a picture of Bill O'Reilly's Valentine to Obama. Look at that hilarious multiculti group of kids he is with! Is this a college admissions brochure? FreeRepublic commenters are making loofah jokes! (Adorable, guys, but it's "falafel.") [Mediaite]

Peggy Noonan likes Barack Obama, she really does. But he should know, she writes, that he is terrifying everyone. And that is why they are all shouting at congressmen, now. Because Obama scared them.

As Glenn Beck, Lou Dobbs, Rush, and other wackos compete to be the loudest and most hysterical opponent of Barack Obama, one former boogeyman has toned it way down. Bill O'Reilly just wrote the President a nationally syndicated birthday card.

Jake "The Octagon" Tapper has updated his Twitter avatar to this photo, which pretty much says it all. We'd be proud too if we could elicit a glower like that from the president, but we'd probably go about it differently.

Barack Obama invited the entire Democratic Senate Caucus to his house for his birthday lunch, yesterday, in order to charm them into getting some fucking work done. And they had a wonderful time!

Here's Jeremy Piven on the Tonight Show last night telling Conan about how Barack Obama gave him his phone numbers, all of his phone numbers, and Piven then failed to save them into his phone. Maybe it was the sushi.

So today's Barack Obama's birthday, that is, if you believe the information provided on that fake Hawaiian birth certificate of his. So to commemorate the occasion, Glenn Beck put together a loving tribute to our black, Muslim, communist czar.

White House Press Corps doyenne Helen Thomas turned 89 today! Coincidentally, today is also the day Barack Obama's grandparents chose when they forged Obama's birth certificate 48 years ago. Obama gave her cupcakes!