It's the of the line for Steve Rattner, the high-profile financier who once managed Michael Bloomberg's fortune, was once rumored to be a candidate for Treasury secretary, but ended up with responsibility for President Obama's auto task force instead. Back in April, the private equity firm that Rattner co-founded, Quadrangle Group, was tied to the pension kickback scheme now under investigation by Andrew Cuomo; now comes word that Rattner is out of a job and heading back home: "The administration said Mr. Rattner decided to return to private life and his family in New York City." [WSJ]

We should've seen this coming: conservative blog Free Republic fired hate speech off at Malia Obama after this photo of her appeared, letting their commenters go to town. But the journalist who reported this as news isn't innocent, either.

Wow. The New York Times has two sources reporting: C.I.A. director Leon E. Panetta's been testifying to Congress that Dick Cheney ordered the C.I.A. to withhold information regarding a secret counter-terrorism project. And just how sketchy is this Dick?

Unlike former Presidents, former Vice Presidents don't get Secret Service protection. (No one's ever gonna take a shot at Quayle.) Except one! A certain mean old man still gets a taxpayer-funded security detail.

ABC News has come up with video purporting to prove that Barack Obama did not lasciviously check out a woman's ass in Rome yesterday. We undertook a Zapruder treatment and determined that he probably did, but had no choice.

Uh oh. Somebody's sleeping on the White House sofa when he gets home from the G8 Summit in Italy! And Matt Drudge is never going to let this die.

Reporters from roughly 30 television networks, newspapers, magazines, and web sites celebrated the Fourth of July with Barack Obama at the White House last weekend. Why didn't you know that? Because they were sworn to secrecy.

Barack Obama threw an exclusive "backyard bash" on the Fourth of July, with hot dogs, Stoudt's American Pale Ale, and entertainment by the Foo Fighters. Politico's Mike Allen rated an invite, but he doesn't really want you to know that.

Barack Obama can't remember exactly how he met his wife, Michelle, the mother of his two daughters. But he at least remembers that they did meet, which is the thing that matters, right? So leave him alone!

Barack Obama praised Vladimir Putin's "extraordinary work" during a meeting at Putin's home near Moscow.

Barack Obama held a news conference with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev today and if you caught any of it on the news, you may have noticed that Medvedev's translator sounded suspiciously like Borat, so we put together an audio comparison.

Today is Van Wilder sequel star Kal Penn's first day at his new job. His new job at the White House! TV's Dr. Kumar is "an Associate Director in the Office of Public Engagement," working under Valerie Jarrett.

Did you hear about how Alaska's greatest source of shame and humiliation announced that she was going to strike down anyone who takes her name in vain with great vengeance and furious anger, just like God? Oh yes she did!

Probably thinking that no one in America would be watching television on the morning of July 5th, the Obama administration let Crazy Joe Biden out of his cage for an appearance on ABC's This Week.

Instead of taking a present from her Dad, she got him the resignation of Sarah Palin. Not bad. But seriously: this Chicago Tribune profile of where the Obama girls have spent their last few birthdays is ridiculous-cute. Enjoy. [Chicago Tribune]

Another Friday afternoon (in spirit!), another "Obama admin continues Bush admin-era 'national security' policy" story. This one is a mysterious NSA program called, ominously, "Einstein 3."

The White House released a list of all its staffers and their salaries, including the director of African American media, who makes $13,000 per year more than the director of Hispanic media. What would Sonia Sotomayor say?

Barack Obama's bizarre alliance with NBC continued last week when the White House invited network chief/seasoned clubrat Ben Silverman over for a highly publicized meeting just in time for the launch of Silverman's shitty new show, The Philanthropist.

Matt Drudge reports exclusively this morning that President Barack Obama has been employing an African witch-doctor technique known as the "evil eye" in order to impose socialism on hard-working white Americans.

Surely you're wondering what Glenn Beck was up to tonight, no? Oh, the usual, you know, insinuating that Barack Obama is a communist dictator because he condemned the military coup in Honduras, just like Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez did.