In a move to boost tourism in Southern California, respected character actor James Woods guarantees that he'll meet with each and every single tourist. Woods said, "A lot of people come out here hoping to see somebody famous. So, why not cut out the middleman? I'll meet with anybody. Pose for pictures, pound fists or whatever the kids are doing these days. Just as long as they come out to Los Angeles." Woods kicked off the promotion with a sight seeing bus in West Hollywood and was greeted with an enthusiastic response. A tourist from Iowa said, "I'm in LA for a few days and I already met the guy from The Hard Way. How great is that? You can't get that kind of memory with a staycation, I'll tell you that much."

While out with friends in Venice over the weekend, Vince Vaughn was brought up to speed with celebratory hand gestures. The Rudy star felt the need to high five after joke he made, but his friend told Vaughn that all the kids pound it or bump knuckles these days. The friend quickly taught the basic elements of pounding to Vaughn which he enjoyed. Vaughn said, "I can see why everybody likes this. Cuts down on the germs."

Hunky actor Josh Hartnett stopped by the New York Stock Exchange hoping to boost morale. Hartnett had noticed that the market recently has taken a tumble and thought maybe he could cheer up the men on the floor. Hartnett said, "I just saw that things were going rough and I thought maybe I could turn the market around." Hartnett hopes his appearance at the exchange will make investing seem cooler to a younger demographic. Hartnett added, "It's okay to save for the future, guys. That trip to Cabo can wait."

[It's been said before but... Dag. British singer and drug-filled umbrella stand Amy Winehouse at a club last night. When she left, she was inexplicably holding a red lamp and a cardboard box. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Actress Gwyneth Paltrow outside the Waverly Inn last night; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Click to viewboomp3.com

[Kirsten Dunst in the West Village yesterday; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

[Actress Sarah Jessica Parker (who is lovely! it's just a joke! cool it with the outrage, please!) in New York City today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

Comedian's comedian and actor Louis C.K. was spotted by a paparazzi photographer while out in New York City. C.K. asked for the real reason why the photographer was taking a picture of him. The photographer thought for a minute and debated between saying something polite ("Hey, I loved you in that one show!") or being honest. The photographer ended up going the honest route and told C.K. that he had heard a scoop that Lance Armstrong and Kate Hudson were in the adjacent area and that he just wanted to make sure his camera's focus was still working. C.K. nodded and said, "Well, just don't let Dane Cook steal this bit from me and you, okay?"

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

No blog, talking head or alcoholic British songbird can compete with PETA when it comes to snark. For decades, the animal lovers have verbally beheaded countless starlets for their fur and snakeskin accessories, but only recently have their targets bitten back. After seeing a recent photo of plumper-than-usual Jessica Simpson sporting one of those so-last-season message t-shirts reading "Real Girls Eat Meat," we wondered how many of her peers have boldly set themselves up for one of PETA's trademark white powder massacres. Having called Nicole Richie "an incredible shrinking woman with the heart to match," advising Ashley Olsen that "wearing fur does add 20 pounds, but if [she] wants to fill out her frame, we suggest using a fork instead," and telling Lindsay Lohan "there's no road to recovery for the foxes who are anally electrocuted so that you can look skanky," has PETA inspired any other starlets to publicly react just as vehemently? We take a look at the ongoing battles after the jump.

[Kristin Davis in Jerusalem today; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Actor Alec Baldwin with his born again brother Stephen at the Tony Awards last night; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]