The Taco Bell lawsuit that caused a nation to stare down at the half-eaten Gorditas in their hands and question the true nature of the oily, meat-like substance that filled them has been withdrawn.

Patriotic American beef is under attack! I mean, not the cows. The cows are actually happy about it. Per capita beef consumption in the U.S. has fallen by a third in the past 35 years. So the National Cattlemen's Beef Association is training ranchers and other assorted beef-friendly carnivores to fight back using the tools of public relations.

Big time beef in the NWU, which stands for Northwestern University, act like you know! Could it be that some bold young upstart is challenging the one and only CHET HAZE for hip hop supremacy? Yes, outlandishly!

Keith Richards may have provided a public service by releasing his autobiography, Life — in which he says Mick Jagger has a "tiny todger." An upcoming Rolling Stones tour is said to be in jeopardy over Richards' remarks about the size of Jagger's dong. Or maybe this is a ploy by a bunch of once-great old timers to sell more $500 concert tickets? We'll have to wait and see.

Taco Bell is facing a class action suit over claims that the company's taco meat is only 36% actual beef, along with "extenders" and other crap. The company has now taken out a "snarky" ad to defend its Secret Recipe.

Just after South Korea's military finished playing with its big weapons today near the border, North Korea's military chief said his country was ready to wage a nuclear "holy war" against the South if they don't chill out. [Reuters]

Taiwanese restaurateur and chef Wang Cong-yuan sells what's generally agreed to be the world's most expensive bowl of noodles—a $324 beef dish that he says people order every day. What, exactly, goes into a $324 noodle bowl?

North Korea backed off its promise to deliver an "unpredictable self-defensive blow" over South Korean military drills today, but the North kept talking shit, saying the South hadn't learned "a lesson from the disgraceful defeat they suffered" last month. [CNN]

The parliament in Ukraine needs to install a fighting cage. There was the '05 WTO brawl, the awesome egg fight, and on Thursday a melee erupted inside between opposition and ruling party MPs. It's the 2010 Parliamentary Deathmatch!

Some staffers at the DC bureau of ABC News aren't happy with the August hiring of "distant outsider" Christiane Amanpour to take over the Sunday talk show, "This Week." They really just wanted a boring DC insider. Boo hoo.

"Her bodice looks like the outside of the rib. Over the shoulder looks like it does come from a shoulder. There are no expensive cuts here, no real steaks. The best you've got is the flank steak on her head."

Still angry after his failed bid for president of Haiti, Wycef Jean hit back at Sean Penn for questioning his ability to handle the job: "maybe he ain't see me in Haiti because he was too busy sniffing cocaine."

The Valley Meat Company in Modesto, California has recalled one million pounds of frozen beef products after six people were found to be sick from E. coli. The beef was supplied primarily to stores on the west coast. [FPJ]

In response to this weekend's joint US-South Korean naval exercises in the Sea of Japan, North Korea today said it will launch a "sacred war" and use its "nuclear deterrent" to crush the imperialists and its puppet regime.

Radio Free Asia this week published a picture of a North Korean poster depicting a sailor punching a warship that reads: "We will smash you with a single blow if you attack!" It was smuggled out by a Chinese businessman.

Washington Post person Howard Kurtz, on his CNN program "Reliable Sources" today got a little heated over Politico's Patrick Gavin calling his show "television's best representation of [the Washington press corps'] clubbiness." Don't cross Howie, he'll blast you on air!

Advice for fast food servers: Don't mess with someone's BBQ Bacon Double Jr Cheeseburger Deluxe, or you might regret it. Just ask the Michigan Wendy's drive-thru employee who fought back against obnoxious customers, and set off a huge brawl.

Popular jihadi website al Samoud has been hacked—at least that's what the web forum's administrator, Abu al-Aina'a al-Khorasani, says. On al Fallujah message board he warns that his online journal has "been the subject of an ‘infiltration operation.'"

On Monday, a US Border Patrol agent on a bike shot and killed a 15-year-old Mexican boy for allegedly throwing rocks at him. When FBI agents arrived, Mexican authorities drew their weapons. Updated: Univision has video of the shooting.

Police in New Zealand are investigating claims that parents in one town are setting up backyard brawls between their kids instead of letting them fight in the streets. Not a bad idea! New Park Slope parenting trend coming?