"Where's the beef?" That will likely be exclaimed when you learn that our nation's fast food industry is facing a new crisis: beef is not so cheap these days. Not to worry! Fast food chains have many other "delicious" options.

In your competitive Tuesday media column: the fashion mag ad race is heated, GQ manages to sell electric doo-dads to people somehow, Michael Wolff's beef parade marches on, and the NYT rocked by "getting a good political story" scandal.

The more popular Shepard "OBEY" Fairey gets with the Obama poster crowd, the less popular he gets with the hardcore street art crowd. Shep just finished up a huge, highly publicized legal mural on Houston Street. How's that looking now?

Yesterday the disgraced ex-governor said he was "stolen from the people of Illinois," by U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, then got all Chicago Guy for the cameras and said: "Why don't you show up in court tomorrow?"

New Jersey Guidos now in full control of New York politics.

In your cool-person Thursday media column: Neel Shah's style secrets exposed, a job appears in the media(!), the NYT's web delay explained, and Donald Graham doesn't give a fuck about your hit pieces.

You know this Guy Fieri guy? He's got a Food Network show/career putting him somewhere between Jesse James and Rachel Ray's flipped chromosomes. At this weekend's New York Food and Wine Festival: called out by David Chang and Anthony Bourdain.

Megan Fox was being cute by calling Michael Bay a "Nazi" regarding the Transformers 2 shoot. Some Michael Bay crew members wrote a letter about Awful Megan Fox on Michael Bay's site, which has since been censored. Just awesome.

Keith McNally—proprietor of media commissary Balthazar—also owns New York's restaurant of the moment, Minetta Tavern. It's an elusive reservation, because the place is packed with celebrities. But what happens when Gawker Alumnus Jesse Oxfeld tries to get in?

So, Mediaite's Rachel Sklar did a piece about cars. What? Yes: cars. Ray Wert at Gawker Media car blog Jalopnik posted on it. Sklar dove in the comments. Car people are insane. What do you think happened? Results pictured. Enjoy.

Go to any function where advertising "creatives" gather, and you will see that guy: the one wearing some old Converse, or crazy purple-yellow-red-green Adidas he designed himself, online. The average old person would not think such a cool guy could be such a corporate hack, but they would be wrong! We're not here to give you list of facts about Alex Bogusky's career (he's the chairman of Crispin Porter + Bogusky, the supercool ad agency that brought you the weird Burger King ads, Microsoft's current ad campaign, and many others—basically the EDGY agency that's not too edgy for corporate behemoths)—we're just here to demonstrate to you that, yes, Alex Bogusky is that ad guy. Okay:

Former Huffington Post media reporter and Dan Abrams' henchwoman Rachel Sklar is pissed at her friend, blogger-journalist Jeff Jarvis. Jarvis posted a now-infamous email of hers to his blog and absolutely lit her up in the process. Sklar fired back.

The most exciting beef of the weekend has arrived: Mugatu inspiration Karl Lagerfeld and Heidi Klum are having a war of words.

In your flammin' Friday media column: Lola Ogunnaike's out of a job, the LAT's web editor's into a job, a WSJ writer brings da ruckus, and the secret newspaper meeting was not a secret we swear so don't ask any more about it or else:

Hooray for this: wonderful quote-machine and buffoonish RNC head Michael Steele is picking a pointless, hilarious fight with Rush Limbaugh.

Did you stuff your face with enough beef over the holiday weekend? If not, Matthew McConaughey is gonna be mighty pissed off. Check out the new radio spot he recorded for the National Cattleman's Beef Association. You know, the dudes who came up with that "Beef, it's what's for dinner" slogan? Well, they got themselves a brand new golden-haired, A-list pitchman and the results have become a bit of an obsession here in the Defamer offices. Why does it fascinate so? Maybe it's because McConaughey plays up his every vocal tic for maximum effect, like he's trying to lure a small child into a windowless van with some candy. Or maybe it's because their new tagline, "Discover the power of protein in the land of lean beef," is so impossibly vomit inducing (and also a little homoerotic). Or perhaps it's because at the end of the day, Matthew delivers his most convincing performance since A Time To Kill. Whatever the reason, it totally works. I ate like 15 burgers this weekend and couldn't be happier. Listen to the ad after the jump.