"I'm having my first real Marilyn moment," Lady Gaga told the crowd at the "Decade of Difference" concert (celebrating the tenth anniversary of the Clinton Foundation) last night after wishing Bill Clinton a happy birthday and before launching into a rendition of "Bad Romance" cleverly retitled "Bill Romance." (Technically, the former president's birthday is in August.) That seemed to be where the "Marilyn moment" ended, as far as we know, though President Clinton seemed to enjoy it nonetheless: "I got nervous when Gaga said she was planning to have a Marilyn moment and I thought 'I will have a heart attack for my 65th birthday.'" [Yahoo]

11 Points has a list of gay-rumor-plagued presidents, in increasing order of likelihood. They make a compelling case for Clinton: "You find yourself involved in enough threesome, foursomes, ninesomes and dodecasomes and eventually you're going to cross swords with someone."

Bill Clinton, our most rascally of presidents, may have been out of office for ten years. But the guy can still bring the gravitas when he wants to—as he did today at the unfinished memorial to the victims of United 93, with a speech that's perfect in almost every way.

Here's a fun exercise in "Hey, whatever happened to…?" After seventeen years of nonstop blowjob jokes, Monica is still unemployed and alone, living in her parents' houses and relying on her family's money, according to the National Enquirer. (So take it with a cigar tube of salt.) Since her handbag line never took off, she is reportedly considering a wildly incongruous career in PR. The Daily Mail reports,

Harry is coming to the U.S.! Mark Ronson and Cheyenne Jackson both get married! And Kim Kardashian faces a terrible truth! Sunday gossip is wearing white for the last time this year.

Bill Clinton joked today that he was "tickled" to see Rick Perry, a "good lookin' rascal," enter the presidential contest over the weekend. He sees Perry's entrance, along with his pledge to keep the government as far away as possible from individual lives as president, as only the latest development in the 30-year campaign to discredit the federal government's ability to do good.

Disastrous Broadway musical Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark finally, really, actually opened, believe it or not. No one died, or anything! Guess who showed up? Julie Taymor, the director who was forced out by producers just a few months ago.

Much has been made of the fact that bulge-Tweeting congressman Anthony Weiner (8==D - N.Y.) is married to Huma Abedin, a close aide of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — and that President Clinton officiated at their wedding. But having been through a not entirely dissimilar situation does not seem to have made the Clintons more sympathetic to Weiner's problem:

Were there any compassionate Democrats out there to cheer up America's Accountant, Rep. Paul Ryan, after his plan to eliminate Medicare and replace it with health insurance "premium support" for old dying people won Democrats a conservative-district seat in last night's Gawker Election? Oh, just Bill Clinton.

Today we learned that George W. Bush was just kicking back with a nice souffle when he got the call about Osama Bin Laden. Very interesting! What were other ex-presidents doing when they found out? One commenter knows about one, at least.

Last night the confusing plot lines on Glee came to a head when all the singing youngsters dusted off their cool aunt Karen's copy of a Fleetwood Mac album, stayed up all night doing blow, and screamed at each other. Well, not quite, but it was just as fun to watch.

"I remember everything about it. I saw a hooker approach a man in a gray flannel suit .. I still have vivid memories of it. Romantic, fascinating." — Bill Clinton describing a visit to pre-Disneyfied Times Square in 1964. [NYT]

Charlie Sheen has a nice meal while the LAPD searches his house for firearms. Ashlee Simpson rebounds with her husband's friend. Monica Lewinsky is "still in love" with Bill. TGIFriday gossip.

Former president Bill Clinton only sent two emails during his presidency, he told a crowd in New York. Two! In commemoration of his true confession, we've collected the only eight photos we could find of Bill Clinton Using, Looking at, and/or Pointing at Computers. They are... marvelous!

The Democratic Leadership Council has been a bogeyman to liberals for decades, symbolizing the party's corporate sellout with its philosophy of spreading public welfare through market-based solutions. It was the organization that then-Arkansas Gov. Bill Clinton chaired in the '80s; when he became president, he adhered to its policy goals: welfare reform, balanced budgets, free trade. The DLC would go on to support the invasion of Iraq in 2003, for some reason.

Jim Carrey gets a new, model sweetheart. Bill Clinton hangs with Cameron Diaz. What's Oprah's big secret? Justin Bieber's hair costs slightly less than rumored. Saturday Gossip Roundup is hanging out with a big bowl of waffles.

Former Libertarian congressman Bob Barr, who helped "manage" the impeachment of Bill Clinton, has found his life's calling: He's assisting murderous ex-Haitian dictator Jean-Claude "Baby Doc" Duvalier in his bizarre return to the island, which Barr calls "a personal trip."

Jake and Taylor rendezvous in Nashville—but was it ex sex or postmortem wallowing? Macaulay Culkin parties with a porn star. Jesse James and Kat Von D are engaged. Bill Clinton is Cameron and A-Rod's third wheel. TGIFriday gossip.

Chinese President Hu Jintao is visiting America this week to figure out the best places to install giant hydroelectric dams once China conquers us. And tonight is the much-hyped State Dinner. Wanna know who's sitting with the president?

President Obama introduced his new chief of staff, Bill Daley, at a briefing this afternoon, without any major incidents. Phew! Because the last time a president introduced Daley in this setting, Daley collapsed, and Al Gore had to save him.