Julian Assange, under house arrest in England, hosted a "lavish 40th birthday party with celebrity guests" on Sunday. Which celebrities? Not Angelina and Brad Pitt. They were invited, but apparently took a pass.

A German teenager named Thessa forgot to make sure the Facebook "event" for her 16th birthday was set to private. So 15,000 people confirmed their attendance, and more than 1,500 showed up on her doorstep.

Do you know what today is, in addition to being a tragic day of global devastation? It's Rupert Murdoch's 80th birthday! No need to comment on any issues of karma. Born into a newspaper-owning family in Melbourne in 1931, Rupert parlayed a single small newspaper in Adelaide into a national—and then global—media powerhouse. Who among us can say we have not had our lives affected by Rupert and his properties? Every time you watch The Simpsons or Bill O'Reilly, read the Wall Street Journal or a London tabloid, or watch a rerun of Napoleon Dynamite, you are, in your own way, being touched by the News Corp empire. It's amazing and not a little bit scary.

Justin Bieber turned 17 last night, and celebrated by flipping off the paparazzi. [Image via Pacific Coast News]

We were told ahead of time that "colorful events will take place" for Dear Leader Kim Jong-il's birthday on Wednesday, but we could have never guessed just how awe inspiring the celebration of his 69th year of life would be. According to the Korean Central News Agency, a "mysterious natural wonder" took place above Kim's magical mountain birthplace, Mount Paektu:

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il turns 69 today—that is, it is the 69th anniversary of his glorious birth on sacred Baekdu Mountain. What kind of events will take place? "Colorful events will take place," Korean News Service helpfully informs the curious. And that's not all!

Ronald Reagan would have turned 100 years old today, and there are celebrations galore across the country. How are you celebrating the life of the Greatest American Who Ever Lived? Let's remember the Gipper today with this classic straight-shooter moment.

Even though her birthday was yesterday, today's Ellen DeGeneres Show featured one last celebration: a surprise call-in song from Lady Gaga! After the serenade, Gaga and DeGeneres discussed the singer's new album, upcoming Grammy performance, and frustration with NYC weather.

Ellen Degeneres turned 53—that's right 53—today and her show was filled with birthday fun. There was a performance from the "Double Dream Hands" guy and Colin open-mouth kissed Ellen while Portia de Rossi watched.

North Korea's heir apparent Kim Jong-un turned twentysomething today but it's a rather quiet affair, with "no special rations or celebrations" for the people. South Korean hackers also posted birthday greetings on the North's official Twitter and YouTube pages.

Conservative deity Ronald Reagan would have turned 100 next month, so the entire Free World will celebrate with bronze statues, museum exhibits, a conservative retreat to the Reagan Library and even a "special tribute" at the Super Bowl. Get excited!

Bill Clinton's 65th birthday party may be held at LA's 20,000-seat Staples Center, where the likes of Paul McCartney, Mary J. Blige, and Jay-Z could perform. And "every A-lister in town will be scrambling to get an invite," allegedly.

Meet George Lippitt, who turned 10 at 10:10 a.m. on 10/10/10. If this were a book, he would become a wizard, or something, but it's real life, so he just got a cake in the shape of the number 10.

[A female hippopotamus named Mali celebrates her 44th birthday at Bangkok's Dusit Zoo today with a feast of fruit and bread. Image via AP]

Today is the 62nd anniversary of the founding of North Korea, but it's been a tough year: Kim Jong-il's bourbon stash is shrinking, they were creeped out by Facebook, and blew it at the World Cup. There's always next year!

[Funi the Panda bear turned four years old today in her new home at the Adelaide Zoo in Australia. Funi and cagemate Wang Wang are the only Giant Pandas living in the Southern Hemisphere. Image via Getty]

Yesterday, we told you about the 12-year-old girl from Queens who was arrested for selling drugs. She turned 13 yesterday. Nothing like celebrating your first year as a teen in jail on charges of selling crack. Happy Birthday, young one!

Courtney Love celebrated her estranged daughter's eighteenth birthday a day late on Twitter: "youve done a dammed good job frances of destroying anything i could build." She's a "sell out," and Courtney knows how to "ruiinher." Happy birthday! [Buzzfeed, @CourtneyLoveUK]

Frances Bean Cobain, daughter of late grunge-god Kurt, is 18 today. Meaning: you are old.

Not-ethical congressman Charlie Rangel's birthday bash last night must've been really fun... for him. The other Democratic politicians there, though, were probably anxious about upcoming attack ads. Below: video of Rangel dancing, alongside the GOP's inevitable first attack ad.