Scotty McCreery misses his cue. Brad Pitt wasn't always a tragically overweight, dumpy-looking urchin with a comb-over. Kim Kardashian exposes herself to The Poors and learns the true meaning of Thanksgiving. Today's Gossip Roundup is sitting on the couch with some turkeys, playing video games and eating pumpkin pie topped with mashed potatoes instead of Cool Whip.

Steve Jobs, the Zune, and Arista, Jive, and J Records are no longer with us. But in their wake, there is a wealth of new music out on a variety of labels to listen to with Apple and (remaining) Microsoft products. While we're on the subject, we might as well talk about some of it.

William (put the periods in yourself if you want) of stink-pop band the Black Eyed Peas says the group doesn't perform their hit "My Humps" in concert anymore because they think it's silly. "It wasn't lyrical miracles," William said. Luckily "Don't Phunk With My Heart" remains in rotation. [NYM, photo via Getty]

Justin Bieber, a Furbie toy given the ability to sing, held the LA premiere for his 3D concert movie Never Say Never last night. The red carpet was even uglier than usual. Let's take a look at all the atrocities unleashed by The Biebz.

After several years of post-wardrobe malfunction "safe" choices, the Black Eyed Peas headlined/ruined tonight's Super Bowl halftime show. Fergie did a lot of random shrieking (singing?), yelling, and things of that nature, so I edited it all together for you!

Black Eyed Peas frontman Will.i.am was named the "Director of Creative Innovation" at Intel. What will he do? Apparently, Intel doesn't even know. But it will be totally creative. And innovative. Creatively innovative. Directly creative. Creatively direct Boom boom pow!

Like me, you've probably always wondered what it'd look like for a sign language interpreter to perform lyrics like, "My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps," at a Black Eyed Peas concert. Here's your answer.

Fergie is reportedly "on the verge" of leaving the Black Eyed Peas because Will.i.am's ego "is out of control." Also, she wants to get pregnant, which would be disastrous for her stage persona given her infamous bladder control issues. [Radar]

So, Idol Gives Back is going on right now. Earlier, the Black Eyed Peas performed "Rock That Body." It was a train wreck. A complete and utter train wreck. Like, a what the hell type of train wreck. Video inside.

No one buys music anymore. So what to do if you're a pop band trying to make it big? It's simple — whore yourself out to any company that will give you cash. And start flash mobs for Oprah.

We received a text from a tipster at 5.08am saying: "Mike's apt is on fire right now! Black eyed peas and axl!" Which, using our young-people translator, we deduce means a breakfast meeting of musical minds occurred at the hotspot.

Pop music was alive and well this year. From Kings of Leon to Lady GaGa, the year in pop wasn't completely vomit inducing. Here's DJ Earworm (Best. DJ name. Ever) brilliantly mashing it all together for easy consumption.

Take that, Fergie, this lil' guy is gonna make you love drunk on his cuteness!

New photos suggest the White House party crashers were seasoned social climbers and chronic liars; Reese and Jake deny a break-up rumor; Tila Tequila's "energy secret" is not an illegal substance. Monday gossip, here we come.

So, here at SNL Digest, we're trying to have a hopeful, kind conversation about a show—and a tradition—we hold dear, the slope of its decline regardless. But last night's January Jones episode? One word: disaster. How disaster-y?

So here's how Perez Hilton's weekend ended: The gossip blogger ended up punched in the face and bleeding outside a Toronto club around 3 a.m., after calling singer Will.I.Am a "gay... fag." So much for a new, nicer Hilton.

There are several immutable laws of physics: The net force on a body is equal to it's mass multiplied by it's acceleration. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. Will.i.am ruins everything he touches. Don't believe us? Check out his recent Grammy performance. Need more proof? Listen to his lifeless remixes on that 25th anniversary re-issue of Thriller. But just when you thought that Will.i.am was content with debasing the sanctity of the entire recording industry, it appears as if he is about to apply his patented reverse Midas Touch on one of the most anticipated action films of 2009.