Dallas County, population 2.5 million, now officially stands for "monetary and substantial reparations" for black Americans' suffering, after the County Commission summarily approved a resolution by its only black member that the white commissioners never bothered to read.

That short glug of water in the bolo unhappily shaking President Obama's hand is Oklahoma Rep. Paul Wesselhöft, who's lately made his bones calling for Attorney General Eric Holder's impeachment and warning all listeners about the terrors of the National Black Panther Party.

Evangelical conservative radio personality Bryan J. Fischer is a batshit sound-bite machine for the Lord. And he would like you to know how much he loves black men, even if you can't compute that in your "black heart."

After publishing an article advising his children to avoid black people, writer John Derbyshire lost his column at uber-conservative magazine The National Review and weathered a firestorm of outrage this weekend. Nonetheless, after undergoing his regularly scheduled chemotherapy treatment for Chronic Lymphomatic Leukemia this morning, an unperturbed Derbyshire agreed to a Gawker Q&A. His only request: That we publish his answers exactly as he wrote them. We agreed, and have not edited him.

This weekend racist pundit John Derbyshire lost his column at the National Review for being more direct with his racism than that magazine allows. We reached out to Derbyshire and Taki's Magazine executive editor Mandolyna Theodoracopulos, who is ostensibly responsible for publishing Derb's racist article, for comment. Mandolyna, the daughter of Taki's Magazine namesake and "soi disant anti-semite" Taki Theodoracopulos, responded thusly:

Only 39 percent of American voters think black-white relations are improving. And that's the optimists: Thirteen percent of black voters think race relations are getting better. What's the deal, America? Haven't you noticed our black president?

Like the rest of you, we've been deeply disturbed by the recent controversy concerning Kenneth Eng's infamous "I Hate Blacks" column. (Eng was dismissed from his position at Asian Week yesterday.) But then it occurred to us that we have two members of the Gawker family who might be able to help us heal the breach, or at least begin a dialogue, between blacks and Asians. We asked The Assimilated Negro and Spinachdip to get to the bottom of the enmity between the two communities. The results will make everyone feel a little better. Except maybe the gays.