Ben Widdicombe tosses us an extraordinarily puzzling blind item today:

Your tips as to who Page Six's rexy socialite could be were unanimous: the suffering lady whose non-eating has worsened in the wake of a high-profile dumping is, according to you, none other than Olivia Chantecaille, whose ex, Eric Villency, married brunette Kimberly Guilfoyle soon after kicking Libs to the curb. We're not going to make fun of Libby because ano is a sad and dangerous disease. We will, however, quote you making fun of her:

Sigh. Just kidding, unfortunately. But tipsters have brought to our attention that we overlooked a batch of blind items in today's P. 6. They're hot on the trail of the record mogul who signed a girl group because he wanted to bone its lead singer over at Idolator, which leaves us with only two blind item stock types to identify: the socialite so 'rexy that she's got premature bone loss, and the socialite/publicist who's back to snorting coke off the toilet seat:

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We were tantalized by an item in Page Six this morning:

A blind item in Page Six today struck a nerve:

You know that song "I'm Every Woman?" We were mulling this over in the shower, and we were thinking that Britney Spears is, in her retarded way, Every Celebrity. During the course of her career, she's actually tried to nail every single dumb famous-person archetype of the 21st century: the virgin-whore ingenue, the Reesey young wife and mom, and now the LA club-scene vagina-flashing coke slut. So when we're presented with a handful of blind (or, since they're Post-y, mildly astigmatic) items, it's less a matter of figuring out which one is Britney and more a matter of trying to think of a reason that they wouldn't all be about Britney. To wit:

Ben Widdicombe slyly dropped this doozy on us this morning: