• Friday night, finally, is your chance to meet some of New York's favorite anonymous bloggers, including the Bouncer and the Lawyer. We hope Chris Mohney is still invited, even now that he's nonymous. [Clublife]
• No you're froky: The equally irritating ex-girlfriend of the irritating guy from Sunday's Times Modern Love column today tells her side at The Black Table. God willing there will be no further rejoinders. [The Black Table]
• Bloomberg has a listed phone number, which he answers. (Bloomberg, Michael R.: 212-772-1081) [NYT; Switchboard]
• A U.S. congressman — a Republican, natch — thinks Tim Russert should be shot. [E&P]
• Former Worldcom chief Bernie Ebbers gets 25 years in prison in fraud. He'll get three squares a day — each one to be interrupted by a guard asking if he's happy with his current long-distance service. [NYT]
• The new CBS News website is out, and it's so revolutionarily different that it took us an extra day to process it all. [Reference Tone]

Today's Times Metro section introduces us to the Carnival of the New Jersey Bloggers, a weekly, curated roundup of Jerseyana found on Garden State weblogs. This Carnival, argues Peter Applebome, makes perfect sense:

Far be it from silly Gawker to suggest the best possible way to start your day, but we do think that a video of a woman putting the smack down at the Chase on 57th and 6th is up there with coffee and antidepressants.


Chase: Where the Right Relationship Is... [PR. Differently.]

• "From the billboards of Times Square to the graffiti murals of Queens" to, we presume, the oceans white with foam, Monday's the start of Type Week in New York. We're counting the minutes, and we think a dramatic reading of Bloomberg's proclamation announcing the week might be just the way to pass the time. [fawny.blog]
• The Observer's Politicker breaks the news that Howard Dean, before becoming DNC chair, considered running for mayor of our fair city. He probably should have done it: The last angry, screaming crazy man to have the job is now a multimillionaire national hero. [The Politicker]
• Misty oil-painted memories of the way things could have been: Libeskind's vision comes true, if only in a painting in a bar. [Curbed]
• Egotistical, "highly esteemed intellectual and literary critic" lives in Park Slope, seeks assistant, uses Craiglist. (Just how egotistical? "Pays very little, but may prove to be the adventure of your life.") We're shocked. [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]

• It's springtime for Bloomberg, and no German-speaking New Yorker will go un-campaigned-to. [The Politicker]
• After 85 years of "temporary" closure, a new park opens at the far west end of Canal Street. [Downtown Lad via Curbed]
• Introducing the "Harper's iPod," which proves Andrew Hearst has too much time on his hands, and too few obsessions. [Panopticist]
• Bed, Bath & Beyonc , in Chelsea, natch. [BlogChelsea]

• Determine, if your calculator has sufficient decimal places, how insignificant a bombing must be to be reported only on Blottered. Now make it twice as insignificant, to reflect that Blottered felt compelled to cover this East Village bombing twice. [Blottered and Blottered]
• Why does a bouncer choke a customer? Because he has to, dammit. [Clublife]
• But, really, does the date on the newspaper matter? Oh yeah, guess it does. [This Is What We Do Now]
• Mmmmm... free Nobu sushi... [Unbeige]

It's Friday and, as we're sure you know, Friday means Lowest Common Denominator Day 'round these parts. Unfortunately, we don't have a Britney Spears picture for you, but we do have the next best thing — poopy talk! From Overheard in New York:

• More incestuous ... West Virginia, Part 3: Estranged stepfather Daily Transom is obsessed with last night's debacular Fantastic Four premiere on Liberty Island, and so he consults with our cousin on the Coast, Defamer. [NYO]
• The dastardly Times rips off another blogger! You know, except with, like, reporting and stuff. [GalleyCat]
• Hoboken is great!!!!, says, natch, some deluded individual who is forced to live there. [This Is What We Do Now via Curbed]
• When we hear about pussies on public-access cable, we usually think of something else. But, in this case, it's actually a reality show about housecats in Brooklyn. Frighteningly, we know people who will love this. [Verbose Coma]

Why you shouldn't necessarily depend on only blogs and new media for hard news coverage:

Because we've come to believe that media bloglord Jim Romenesko exists on a level beyond reason or understanding, we've not paid too much attention to news of his crazy-ass salary. Anonyblog Mediacrity, however, was more or less the first "publication" to detail the salary and, as such, is mighty pissed that the Times has failed to give proper credit. Yeah, well, welcome to Life, grasshopper. Nevertheless, reading angry blogrants are fun:

• A dude took pictures of everything he ate for a year, and we're finding ourselves strangely intrigued and impressed. [Gothamist]
• Meanwhile, another dude catalogued all the coffeehouses in Park Slope, which for some reason we find merely utilitarian and not at all charming. [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn]
• And brigades of hipster cartographers are devoted to determining which Orchard Street bar David Cross now owns, which we find amusing, irrelevant, and sadly characteristic. [Curbed]
• Finally, it seems a good time to check in our New York's favorite tabloid copy editor-cum-fundamentalist wackjob-cum-blogger. Today: News headlines today, lobbying for pro-life justices by night. Swell. [The Dawn Patrol

• The new blog "How to Marry an Investment Banker" is, we're pleased to say, not at all what we thought it was going to be — and is therefore much more intriguing. [How to Marry an Investment Banker]
• Did you miss the debut last week of Being Bobby Brown. Yeah, us too. But thank God for screengrabs and excessive subtitling. [fourfour]
• Ladbroke's currently has 25-to-1 odds against New York's bid for the 2012 Olympics winning tomorrow. Frankly, we're finding that disconcertingly close. [The Politicker]

In a review of the 'net writer compilation Bookmark Now: Writing in Unreaderly Times, Wired News mentions Mediabistro EIC Elizabeth Spiers'* tongue-in-cheek take on last year's wave of "blogs are over" articles, in which she discusses internet jackanapes Andrew Krucoff's decision to make his Other Page blog into a print magazine:

• To stalk or not to stalk: Paul Auster in Park Slope. [Only the Blog Knows Brooklyn via Curbed]
• Start digging out all your Helvetica and Times New Roman and burning it like the chametz it is: July 18-24 will be Type Week in New York City, and you don't want to be seen with such pedestrian fonts. [Unbeige]
• We're kind of happy Jeff Jarvis's new Dell is so fucked up. Because it's hella fun to watch him act out all our customer-service revenge fantasies. [BuzzMachine]

...and polish your prose, because your chances of scoring that book deal based on your ilovecats.blogspot project are growing increasingly tangible. A new UK publishing house called The Friday Project is looking for web content that will easily translate into old fashioned ink and paper:

• Was the BTK killer hiding in plain sight all those years, hosting a national TV show right in our central-Village midst? [Blottered]
• And, while we're at it, what do Jessica Cutler and Judy Miller have in common, beyond a fondness for wildly fantastical stories? [The Local]
• Mary Kate and Ashley, free for the taking. [Verbose Coma]
• The Tom Cruise-meets-APA mashup. [The Muk Report]

• Last night was the first reading of Martha! The Unauthorized Musical, which featured "a lot of good things" and songs that "take pot shots at Enron executives, the SEC, New Jersey, Connecticut and a number of races and religions." [NewYorkology]
• In New York, you're never too young to be a media critic. [Tales of the Cupcake Mafia via FishbowlNY]
• Getting tired of Lindsay Lohan? The Politicker nominates Al Sharpton — and how could you be tired of him?) as her replacement. [The Politicker]

• It's even worse than showing up on an Urban Outfitters t-shirt: Old Navy has introduced a "Williamsburg" t-shirt. [Andy's Chest]
• You think cyberstalking is easy? Lovely Lindsay would beg to differ. [Lindsayism.com]
• And we were always told the gays were such neat people. [The Tin Man]
• With so many people visiting the High Line now, why even bothering making it into a real park? [Verbose Coma]

• How dare Tom Cruise come to New York — of all places — and suggest that our brains aren't chemically imbalanced? [Young Manhattanite]
• We told you it's not easy being a summer associate. [Anonymous Lawyer]
• The mag beauty-department hierarchy, from assistant ("salary roughly equivalent to a janitor in Iowa") to beauty director at Vogue ("more powerful than God, attitude to match"). [Jolie in NYC]
• How will you score? The Metrosexual or Gay Vague Quiz! [two-twenty]

• Memo to Dan Doctoroff: No matter how great your desire for (literally) flag-waving support, it is not a good idea to give wooden sticks to runners who will soon be pumping their arms furiously in close quarters. [BuzzMachine]
• God we love this perfect subway map for fucking with tourists. [Work Magazine Blog via Panopticist]
• No fireworks in the Hamptons this July 4. You wouldn't want to disturb a piping plover, would you? [Amy's Robot]
• Verlyn Klinkenborg saves the Times from itself. [Eurotrash]