A long time ago, Bonnie Fuller was the editor of real (if vapid) celebrity rags like Star and Us Weekly. But now she's just the editor of a very pink website called HollywoodLife.com, and the author of bizarre celebrity conspiracy theory columns. And a simpleton pundit for the most gullible elements of the advertising industry!

The Hollywood Life editrix has spent years trying to teach us celebrities are just like us. Well, now she's living like a real celebrity by throwing her daughter a Bat Mitzvah fit for a queen. Marquee, swag, open bar! Wheee!

The hardest part about working for Bonnie Fuller at Us Weekly was pretending to care about the often unknowable, usually banal questions that filled story meetings. Now at HollywoodLife, Fuller's Twitter account allows you to experience her relentess short-attention-span curiosity.

the former editor of Cosmo, Glamour and Us Weekly and now HollywoodLife.com, explaining how stories like "Katharine McPhee, Are You A Serial Flasher?" empower women, to the Globe & Mail via Jezebel.

• It's official: Oprah says she plans to call it quits in September 2011. [ABC]
• Layoffs: The BusinessWeek cuts continue (and include a handful of the mag's more notable names); meanwhile the AP body count now stands at 90.
• Sarah Palin sold 300,000 copies of her book the first day, alas. [TDB]
• Condé Nast and Adobe are teaming up to bring Wired to electronic reading devices. Digital versions of Vogue, VF, and the NYer will follow. [WSJ]
• Vogue's design director is exiting the magazine after a four-year run. [WWD]
• In other Anna news, her de facto stepdaughter, Alexis Bryan Morgan, is leaving the Condé Nast family to take Nina Garcia's old job at Elle. [NYM]
• Cable mogul John Malone isn't happy about the idea of Comcast and NBC teaming up. Meanwhile NBC chief Jeff Zucker is staying mum about the deal.
• Another rumored Playboy bidder is denying interest in an acquisition. [NYT]
• Does Bonnie Fuller's new website stand a chance? [NYP]

• A big round of layoffs landed at the Associated Press today. [BI, NYT]
• Budget Travel isn't shutting down, contrary to rumors. But its owner is looking to sell the magazine or find new investors, however. [AdAge]
• Time.com's managing editor, Josh Tyrangiel, will become the editor of BusinessWeek when Bloomberg LP takes over next month. [BW, WWD]
• The NYPD raided four newspapers as part of a union corruption probe. [AP]
• Is Newsweek's new Sarah Palin cover sexist? Or just funny? [HP, Wrap]
• Because print media is booming and newspapers will be around forever, Mort Zuckerman's Daily News spent $150 million on a new printing plant. [NYT]
• A documentary about media reporters at the Times? Oh, yes, indeed. [NYO]
• Bonnie Fuller's new Web venture launched today. [HollywoodLife.com]
• TV: Oprah GBF Nate Berkus is getting his own daytime show; and Bob Saget will host an A&E reality series in which he'll "explore strange subcultures."
• Rupert Murdoch probably isn't very popular with the blind today. [Gawker]

Bonnie Fuller finally re-launched HollywoodLife.com as a celebrity gossip site in her own image, and it's as nauseating as we feared: In Touch and Life & Style have indeed vomited all over a ridiculously loooong Web page.

Celebrity gossip merchant Bonnie Fuller slammed Michael Lohan for selling celebrity gossip; Gina Tripani was baffled by women, as a group; and a journalist tried to pull rank at a very nerdy ropeline. The Twitterati re-examined their bona fides.

Former Star overlord, Bonnie Fuller, has put up the first previews of her upcoming gossip website Hollywood Life. What do they say about her? In her mind, she is really a 14-year-old princess. Oh, and a liar.

Choire Sicha and Jeff Smith saw very different sweater scenes; Perez Hilton questioned someone's Twitter ethics; and Larry David did a shameless imitation of Larry David. The Twitterati were obsessed with cold-weather clothes and diseases.

• Twitter is close to raising $100 million in new funding. And despite the fact it makes no money, the deal will value the company at $1 billion. [WSJ, CNN]
• A new survey finds that 86% of the public thinks the news media tries to influence public opinion. One reason to discount the data: Fox News came in as the country's most-trusted and least-trusted news source. And Bill O'Reilly ranked as "the most-trusted news anchor on cable TV." [THR, Poynter]
• MTV reports that it plans to go ahead with the drug-intervention reality series featuring DJ AM that was shot just before he died. [THR]
• Michael Moore's new documentary is off to a strong start, alas. [LAT]
• Tim Knight, Newsday's publisher, has handed in his resignation. [NYT]
• Corynne Steindler of "Page Six" is joining Bonnie Fuller's new website. [NYO]
• NBC Nightly News' audience is growing, believe it or not. [HP]
• Yahoo is spending $100 million to remind you it still exists. [BrandChannel]
• CBS has a brand new viewer today. Chief exec Les Moonves and CBS Early Show anchor Julie Chen had a son named Charlie this morning. [ET]

Bonnie Fuller just hired TMZ's New York bureau chief, Will Lee, as executive editor of her soon-to-be relaunched HollywoodLife.com. Fuller is known for taking underlings' underwear and making them wash breast pumps. Our thoughts and prayers are with Lee tonight.

Editor Bonnie Fuller turns 53 today. David Carr of the New York Times is turning 53, too. Real estate mogul Howard Lorber is 61. Kerry Kennedy, the daughter of Bobby Kennedy and ex-wife of Andrew Cuomo, is 50. Pink turns 30. David Arquette is turning 38. Singer Aimee Mann is 49. Swimsuit model and former E! host Brooke Burke is 38. Ex-NBA star Latrell Sprewell turns 39. Food writer Amanda Hesser is 38. Former Congressman Mark Foley turns 55. And '90s teen heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas turns 28 today.

John Batelle couldn't promote his Web summit, for want of a working website; a Wall Street Journal reporter ogled her own book and Bonnie Fuller undermined Angelina Jolie's body image. The Twitterati took self promotion to new places.

Just asking: Is it odd that deposed car czar Steve Rattner poured $35 million into Jay Penske's dubious internet adventure Mail.com in October, and then arranged for Jay's father Roger Penske to buy Saturn from General Motors nine months later?

Tonight Paula Abdul announced that she's leaving American Idol. Bonnie Fuller then stepped up to call shenanigans on Paula. All of this salacious drama played out on Twitter, naturally.

Lately it seems like everyone on Twitter is dropping the ball. Too little chatter and too much "living" of "lives." So we ran a very scientific survey and discovered that, yes, basically everyone missed their numbers this month. The shamed:

• Bad news for NBC Universal: second-quarter profits dropped by 41%. [MW]
• Good news for NBC News: Susan Boyle's first in-depth TV interview will take place with Meredith Vieira on the Today show next Wednesday. [NYT]
• Alpha Media, the company that owns Maxim (and used to own Blender and Stuff)—and which was sold to Steve Rattner's Quadrangle Group in 2007—has changed hands again: Steve Feinberg's Cerberus now runs the show. [NYP]
• Rumor has it Pamela Fiori may be leaving Town & Country. [P6]
• Bonnie Fuller is taking over Hollywood Life, the website controlled by Jay Penske, who owns Movieline and recently bought out Nikki Finke. [NYT]
• More Finke: Days after the LA Times ran an article on Hollywood's most powerful blogger comes pretty much the same piece in the NY Times. [NYT]
• All that bad press for CNBC a few months ago must have refocused the network on the things that matter, right? Nope. [Gawker, Zero Hedge]

Well, Jay Penske is assembling quite a stable at his burgeoning online media company; first he bought Nikki Finke, Winchellian Hollywood blogger, now he's bringing on Bonnie Fuller, the notorious diva celeb-mag editor. Watch for sparks.

The Twitterati ended the week punchy: Kevin Rose was plundering sofware; Anil Dash gleefully promoted the term "Facesquatting" and Mark Glaser lost his Kindle to a teenaged girl.