Hottie banker Debrahlee Lorenzana, who says Citigroup fired her for being too hot, really was quite hot, reports the New York Daily News, which joins the scandal of Debrahlee's hotness with eyewitness testimony. And another gallery of sexy pictures.

Christina Hendricks won Esquire's "best-looking woman in America" poll, thereby landing on May's cover. But now Esquire's editor says Scarlett Johansson "completely screwed" the mag by refusing that cover. Did the arbiter of female attractiveness lie about America's loveliest lady?

"Everything about Debrahlee Lorenzana is hot. Even her name sizzles," writes the Voice in a profile of the hot banker fired for being "too distracting for her male colleagues to bear." Her lawyer even has photographic evidence of said hotness.

Colombian beauty queen Angie Sanclamente Valencia was arrested in today Argentina for running a smuggling ring wherein she recruited other models to deliver drugs via commercial flights. The Argentine press dubbed her "Narco Queen." And, well, boobs, drugs, etc.[BBC]

Have you ever wondered what it would look like if an attractive girl popped a water balloon above her chest and the still-shaped bubble of H20 made its way down in slow motion? Well, wonder no more—video's inside.

Who has the money to buy drinks anymore? Luckily for all you unemployed men out there, it appears there are many easy and free ways to get girls to show you their boobs.

Japan, the land of completely normal things, has invented a bra that's also a small rice farm. Bra manufacturer Triumph has created the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder because "young Japanese women have taken a tremendous interest in agriculture." Suddenly, so have the men!

Miley Cyrus gave a 44-year-old gay director a lap dance. Isaac Mizrahi grabbed Scarlett Johansson's boob. Gay men and straight girls: Keep stray hands, butts, and body parts to yourselves. Just because there's no sexual tension doesn't mean it's OK.

Do you love to have your boobs almost hanging out, but not at work? Why not buy this product, "Cami Secret?" It's basically a napkin you put under your sweater to cover your boobs. What next, flying cars? [Adrants]

After an Iranian cleric said earthquakes were God's punishment for scantily-clad women, the pro-scantily-clad lobby of womanity declared today Boobquake, a day to flout and disprove the cleric by baring your boobs. And then a 6.9-magnitude earthquake occurred in Taiwan!

Charlie Sheen was just like, "Screw it, I'm moving in with my hooker." Lindsay Lohan is no longer marketable. Britney Spears' nipples cause consternation. Jon Gosselin would like to sell you a car. Saturday's Gossip roundup is learning the ropes.

A supermodel says she's "praying over Kate's boobs." Spencer Pratt says they're still too small. Everyone's got an opinion on Kate Hudson's boobs—but are they really fake? Or is she pregnant? An photographic investigation featuring celebrity witness testimony.

Kathie Lee and Hoda discussed the banned Lane Bryant lingerie ad this morning, and Kathie-Lee expressed her belief that its censorship was due to the fact that it did not promote the marital values that she and others hold dear.

Today we looked at the strange economy of boob jobs, and many of you had many things to say. Most important of all these comments, though, was hilarious economist Thomas Friedman. Heed his words.

Sharon Osbourne is getting her implants removed, but long-time pancake-chest Kate Hudson sized up. Females are either returning to a natural state, or evolving into a half-silicone half-human cyborg race. Which is it? A report on the State of Breasts.

Breasts-in-the-media news: former NY1 reporter Adele Sammarco "loved to talk about her boobs," according to court coverage by our city's trashiest tabloid. But! Sammarco is suing NY1 over alleged boob-related harassment. What else have we learned about boobs today?

Buzz Aldrin, the second man on the freaking moon, is shown here at Howard Stern's studio ogling Porn Star Jesse Jane. I guess there's nothing more American than an Astronaut staring at a pair of breasts.

Important political news or whatever: Spitzer superfriend Ashley Dupre's Playboy shoot is out, and here is a respectable, newsworthy sample. Smut peddler Foster Kamer has a more NSFW version at the Village Voice. Commence puns now. More censored shots below.

The Hamptons are a real drag, as everyone knows except the people who like to go there. Until now: A Hooters restaurant has opened in Bridgehampton. Finally, somewhere fun for Ron Perelman to hang out. Video evidence below. OR NOT?

Martha Stewart and Raquel Welch compare boobies! This is the most chemistry Martha has ever had with any guest on her show. They should work together more, perhaps in an out of this world dance video.