In January, Yahoo published a piece by a woman named Lauren Fern Watt titled "I Took My Dying Dog on a Bucket-List Adventure." The piece wasn't really an essay, per se, but some introductory text and eleven photos accompanied by captions that described Watt's relationship with her dying dog, Gizelle, who had been diagnosed with bone cancer. Watt was determined to make the 160-pound English Mastiff's last days her best days (and although the two ate lobster and doughnuts, went on boat and car rides, and cuddled profusely, who can really be sure if a dog with a terminal illness is having fun?).

Jill Abramson, who was unceremoniously ousted last year as editor of the New York Times, has signed a $1 million book deal. Her book's topic will be "the future of media in a rapidly changing world." This development can be interpreted as folly, or farce.

Stephanie Clifford, a New York Times reporter who is 36 years old, has just received a seven-figure book deal for her first novel. It's already been optioned for a movie as well.

How much would you pay Aziz Ansari to write you a book about modern love and the woes of seeing your crush post a photo of their snacks on Instagram rather than reply to your texts? $3.5 million ($3,500,000)? Sounds about right!

A mere two days after finding George Zimmerman innocent of the murder of Trayvon Martin, juror B37 in the case has signed on with a prominent literary agent, as a prelude to a book deal. This juror is a woman who hates the media and went into the trial mistakenly believing there were "riots" over the case.

If you don't have a book contract right this minute, you should very ashamed. Consider: Nathan Harden (pictured), a 2009 graduate of Yale, not only got a book contract, but has already written and published his book, and that book is about how bad it is that kids are into sex things at Yale—a topic that a professional book publishing house presumably considered sufficiently interesting to pay Nathan Harden U.S. currency, to write it.

Yesterday, news broke of a massive ($500K, allegedly) book deal for 24 year-old Ryan Holiday (pictured)—whose name will be familiar to savvy Gawker readers as the spokesman for American Apparel. So what's so interesting about him?

Say what you will about Tom MacMaster, the married American grad student who pretended to be a kidnapped Syrian lesbian on the internet—at least he started his horrible fake blog to create (as he put it) "an important voice for issues that I feel strongly about." Well, that, and to cash in on a memoir written from the point of view of his alter ego, which he was shopping around in May.

Wikileaks founder Julian Assange signed a $1 million deal with Random House for his memoirs to help pay his legal bills and keep Wikileaks afloat. He should call it Julian Assange and the Chamber of Secrets! Or, something funny.

Bed-hopping Puritan Christine O'Donnell has signed a deal with St. Martin's to write a "behind the scenes" account of her 2010 Senate race. Let us know if you need any photos or anything, Christine.

One of the great literary minds of her generation, Jersey Shore's Snooki, will publish her first novel next January. A Shore Thing! is sure to be a keenly observed bildungsroman about a girl looking for love on the boardwalk.

Jennifer Senior has landed a book deal from her recent New York magazine story on "Why parents hate parenting" (Spoiler: because kids suck). Could this be the start of an anti-parenting cultural backlash? Let's hope so! [GalleyCat]

Retired-model-turned-Oprah-wannabe Tyra Banks is writing her first novel, Modelland. It will be part of a trilogy, since Random House signed her to a three-book deal. Oh, goodie! The details sound scary and fierce, like Tyra in a jumpsuit.

In your biased Tuesday media column: a WaPo reporter loses all credibility with hateful Jesus wingnuts, yet another Tumblr-to-book deal, the entire media apparatus struggles to figure out the internet's secrets, and a new poll proves nobody is credible.

Gossip about a book about about gossip about books and whatnot! Lately we've said to ourselves, "What this city needs is another thinly-veiled fictionalized tale of various media types doing their dramatic NYC thing." Hello, we hear one is coming!

In your value-added Tuesday media column: The Onion shuts down a section, SmartMoney may be taken over by Dow Jones, an n+1 guy gets a book deal, and Magic Johnson's still not a media mogul.

Washington Post-approved white humorist Dana Milbank, last seen being handed his own Sunday op-ed column, is now writing a book about Glenn Beck entitled Tears of a Clown. It will feature japes, jibes, jests, jokes, and possibly zingers. [Michael Calderone]

Coming in March: Poster Boy: The War of Art. The kid got a book deal, huzzah! You might say it's "too soon," but is it really? Hopefully the law's not taking all his money, yet. Exciting publisher's boilerplate description below.

Jenny Sanford's husband, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, cheated on his wife with an Argentinean lover. Now, with his political career is in shambles, it's time for Jenny Sanford's star to shine bright! And make a decent buck, too.

The heretofore anonymous founder of Regretsy, the blog that appropriately mocks your dumb arts-and-crafts projects, has been outed. Because she got a book deal! New blog-to-book trend: Saying right up front the book will be more paltry than the blog.