Remember that up-and-coming young Republican who "wowed" the nation recently, on TV? Bobby Jindal? He scored a book deal. Which he's of course quickly ruining, by talking.

(UPDATED) As if it wasn't hellacious enough working customer support for Amazon.com on Easter, the online book store's reps must now explain why gay romances (and other books) are too "adult" to rank.

So are publishing houses sensibly dealing with their beleaguered state by paying modest advances to talented, seasoned authors, rather than throwing huge sums of money at writing neophytes with famous last names in the (likely vain) hope that the ensuing cheap publicity will render whatever crap is stuck between the covers irrelevant? Don't be silly! Meghan McCain has just signed a deal in the "high six figures" with Hyperion, reports Leon Neyfakh, for a book about—well, it's not yet clear what it's about, probably because Meghan's agent Flip Brophy knew that having her client actually write anything wouldn't exactly help with the pitch. None of which is to imply, of course, that the collated thoughts of a 24-year-old spotlight-loving Republican—whose literary disquisitions to date include her noble acceptance of being a size 8 and what a bummer it is trying to date when your dad has lost the election—isn't exactly what the world needs.

Meghan McCain, the vacuous and comically self-regarding daughter of failed presidential candidate John McCain, sold a book to Hyperion for "high six figures" (that's dealspeak for around $750,000) in which she'll lay out—what, exactly?

You may blush at the contents of Gloria Vanderbilt's forthcoming book, Obsession: An Erotic Tale, but Anderson Cooper isn't expressing any embarrassment. The CNN anchor says he's totally supportive of his mom's new tome, since "at 85, whatever she wants to write is fine by me." How sweet! Of course, he may just be relieved that the attention paid to his mom's private life is finally taking a little bit of focus off of his own. [NYP]

It turns out the Out magazine's item on Matt Drudge, which got the internet publisher so riled up last week, was sourced to a onetime gay stripper's memoir. The ex-stripper has more stories.

Reports of Gabriel García Márquez's retirement have been greatly exaggerated, the ancient Colombian magical realist is complaining. Though his agent said he was done, García Márquez claims that he's always writing. Just not publishing.

While writing Next, his last published novel, author Michael Crichton simultaneously (and unexpectedly) wrote Pirate Latitudes, about "a pirate named Hunter and the governor of Jamaica, and their plan to raid a Spanish treasure galleon."

HarperStudio has pushed a seven-figure stake through the hearts of aspiring wordsmiths everywhere by giving a $1 million, 10-book deal to Twitter-abusing videoblogger Gary Vaynerchuk. Does anyone believe in books anymore?

Hold on to your frumpy Chico's fashions: Michael Phelps' mom has written a tell-all book! Star has an exclusive excerpt. Can you guess why that fact alone is very, very strange?

Last year, book-publicist-turned-essayist Sloane Crosley left no promotional stone unturned to sell her book I Was Told There'd Be Cake, including constructing dioramas based on each essay. Now you can own one.

Fashion PR dragonlady Kelly Cutrone has inked a book deal with HarperOne. The impending tome will be "a real girl's guide to the real fucking world." OK!

We heard Hank Paulson will give you $25 billion if you come up with a name for his upcoming book (and you are a former Goldman guy). So let's all pitch in!

Oh, hey there, literati. Remember when that German factory manager took over Random House? Sad. But take heart: The director of Beverly Hills Cop IV is investing in the biz, too. Exciting!

In your sun-dappled Wednesday media column: Newspapers crumble like so many sandcastles at high tide, Rupert Murdoch's still rich, Choire has a contest, and J-school is changing. Not enough:

Gigi Levangie, author of The Starter Wife, has so much of producer Brian Grazer's money after their divorce, that she can write books about her rich divorcée life just to piss him off.

Former editor of this site Choire Sicha is writing a book! Which we knew already. But now he's talking about it! The Platonic Ideal of 'Gawker' is writing about...people like you!

There's now a rumored-price tag on George W. Bush's forthcoming memoirs, "Decision Points:" a $7 million advance from publisher Crown. How does that stack up to other Deciders?

Bill O'Reilly foolishly recorded an audio version of his crappy old novel, and now his sexiest quotes are all over the internet. "Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

We'll concede that former Valleywag Nick Douglas is, in our limited experience, among the wittiest Twitter users out there, and an entertaining chronicler of internet culture. But, really, $50,000 for his book of re-tweets?

That's what our New York publishing source tells us Douglas netted as an advance from his publisher, HarperCollins, for TwitterWit, his collection of other people's microblogging posts. Though he's not writing much original content for the project, Douglas assured us that slogging through submissions — want your tweets to LIVE FOREVER? click here — was pretty, uh, draining, "like watching five hours of porn: your sense of humor dies halfway through."