Twitter has already spawned a deal for an appropriately meta book, so you knew that Tumblr couldn't be far behind. Tumblr's is all about animals, because people don't read "words" any more.

In your aspirational Monday media column: Jimmy Cayne's a rat bastard, Scottie McClellan spawns, Liz Smith groks the email, and newspapers do various sad things:

Lanny Davis, the most pathetic of the Clinton primary campaign dead-enders, just reviewed his own son's book, for The Hill's "Pundits Blog." He liked it!

The Kardashians are an entire family of national fameballs—Julia Allison can only dream of achieving their ubiquitous inanity. And America may have a new book from them to look forward to, a tipster says!

Gawker operative Stephen Kosloff went off to the National Book Critics Circle awards last night armed with a banana and a thirst for too much wine. This is what he saw.

HarperCollins will pay $3.2 million for two books from pilot Chesley Sullenberger, according to a story in the Daily Beast. And go figure: the Zen-calm "Hero of the Hudson" is a poet.

If you were one of the dozens of people let go from Simon & Schuster in December, back when CEO Carolyn Reidy lamented that the company had "literally examined our budget line by line to find those areas large and small where we might further economize," you'll be particularly thrilled to hear that S&S imprint Scribner has dropped a ridiculous $5 million on Time Traveler's Wife author Audrey Niffenegger's second novel.

Andrew Keen has gone insane. The author, who has railed against the Internet for destroying our culture, now says we all must become self-promoting, Facebook-friending, constantly Twittering monkeys like unemployed videoblogger Robert Scoble.

Remember when we all got outraged that Rod Blagojevich got a book deal? Well we should've guessed it came from a shady Hollywood publisher with a history of lawsuits and bankruptcy!

Back in the sixties, college kids read books—books about revolution and sex and drugs. Today, college kids read Harry Potter books and whine about cops touching their Macbooks. Who's responsible? Tucker Max.

That upcoming book by the guys who invented the Bacon Explosion"? It won't even have the Bacon Explosion" recipe in it. That was the only consolation prize for killing literature forever, guys. [Pitch]

Permasmiley celebrity Columbia writing student James Franco is going to have a book of his short stories published by Scribner. This, strangely, is the least ridiculous book deal we've written about this week. [Fox]

A couple of barbecue fans concoct a recipe for a bacon-wrapped, bacon-stuffed log of sausage. The media writes about it. Now, they have a book deal. And that's when the idea of 'books' became ridiculous.

HarperCollins paid about $1 million for the U.S. rights to Jonathan Littell's novel, but really what it bought was controversy in a box. That product is working as advertised.

All of the government's pesky market intrusions have people snapping up copies of Atlas Shrugged like they were bailout packages. Since it's not like Ayn Rand's laissez-faire fantasies got us into this mess.

Barry Ritholtz, the feisty stock-market blogger who sparred with McGraw-Hill over a book which criticized its S&P bond-rating unit, has found a new publisher for Bailout Nation.

Someone gave former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich "six figures" to write a book about how he went about selecting a replacement for Barack Obama, in the Senate.

Hey ladies, lock up your vaginas, because Neil "The Game" Strauss—last seen telling you how to pull much vagina—is back, with a new book! It's about how pickup artist-authors can survive hurricanes or something.

The New Yorker's lengthy profile of David Foster Wallace broke some news: Little, Brown will publish the late novelist's unpublished manuscript for "The Pale King" in 2010. Chunks have already appeared online.

Google paid $125 million to settle copyright charges over its scanning of 7 million books. Today authors were told their cut: $60 to $300 per title. Woo?