"The Instant New York Times Bestseller," trumpets the full-page ad for NYT reporter David Carr's memoir in the NYT today. We'll congratulate him for that, as we are fans of his brutally honest addiction memoir. However, it must be pointed out that Night of the Gun has only hit the expanded bestseller list, which is for the runners-up and isn't printed. (Update: that was the Aug. 24th Times bestseller list. We've just learned that Carr made the regular August 31st bestseller list, at #12 for nonfiction.)

Thriller writer Brad Meltzer has a dorky new book trailer for his upcoming Book of Lies; somehow, somebody convinced God is Not Great author Chistopher Hitchens to be in it. Maybe because they're represented by the same literary agency, Galleycat posits.

The first time Young Manhattanite asked All the Sad Young Literary Men novelist Keith Gessen for an interview, it didn't go so well. "You pussy," the n+1 editor responded in an epic fail of keeping his cool. ("That's pathetic," he responded when we asked him to explain.) But it looks like they've kissed and made up—or maybe Gessen is just wanting to promote his reading tonight—because ol' Keith has agreed to an e-mail Q&A. He's moving back to Russia! Other revelations:Paraphrased: Everyone is wrong, nobody understands, especially in how they interpret his book, people like us misconstrue things, not that they've read it (even though I have, several times); but anyway, "I think I've said this before but it bears repeating, the book I wrote, and the work I do in general, it's meant for a large audience." Neg! (Even though only about 7,500 copies are distributed of each issue of n+1.)

Yesterday, we introduced you to the leaked chick-lit manuscript of mogul wife Leslie Zemeckis, who is married to Forrest Gump director Robert Zemeckis. Our publishing elf dubbed in "exhausting" as well as "derivative... clichéd and unpolished" in a reader's report. When we last left off, 24-year-old heiress/divorcee Natalie was sitting on the floor of her condo wearing a Juicy couture tracksuit, watching Entertainment Tonight and reading tabloids while spilling marinana sauce on herself. Now, we're introduced to Finn, the hottest young actor in town, who lives with his elderly Irish mother: "Finn took a swig from a 1992 bottle of Beaujolais and washed his mouth out as the blonde with the killer fake tits strolled by his bed..."

After Amazon announced an exclusive deal with the publisher of American Prospect editor Robert Kuttner's new book, Obama's Challenge: America's Economic Crisis and the Power of a Transformative Presidency—in which they will be the book's only seller for its first two weeks—Barnes & Noble cut their order of the title. "A spokeswoman for Barnes & Noble later said she couldn't recall another example where a major title wasn't available to all booksellers at the same time." [WSJ]

There seems to be no role left in book publishing that an author can't outsource. Ghost writers are commonplace. Laura "JT LeRoy" Albert pioneered the use of a surrogate in book-tour appearances. And judging by the Craigslist ad after the jump, writers are even hiring forgers to affix their autographs to new releases, because signing books is just way too much work. With all the celebrity titles in circulation, this surely can't be a brand-new phenomenon, but has anyone ever been quite so cheap and brazen about it?

Oh, Cindy. The octogenarian Post gossipeuse confuses the literary agents for Barack Obama in today's column, incorrectly identifying the agent behind his first two books as Robert Barnett. It wouldn't be so remarkable had she not written an entire column back in July about how Jane Dystel sold Obama's first book, Dreams From My Father. Click for the mix-ups.

Remember that curious mini-trend of mogul wives and their literary ambitions? Not everyone has the talent to make it, despite their connections. A tipster forwarded us the manuscript for a chick-lit novel of dubious quality by actress Leslie Zemeckis—wife of Oscar-winning producer and director Rober Zemeckis, who's responsible for Back to the Future, Polar Express, and Forrest Gump. Leslie's manuscript is about "3 friends and their schemes to get on, stay on and survive the red carpet." But: the reader's report from this particular publisher says, "The writing that underscores Walking the Red's derivative plot and characters is cliched and unpolished. Grammatical errors appear occasionally. Zemeckis' obsessive cataloguing of the designer clothes her characters wear and the expensive things they own quickly grows exhausting, as do her attempts at name-dropping..."

It's such a headache for authors to think of notable acquaintances and friends-of-friends to needle for blurbs for the back of their book. Arianna Huffington recently got caught in her blurb assembly line, offering the same one twice. Some authors firmly say no to everyone, shutting down their blurb factory. The NYT writes of a new company that lets you buy (or sell) a blurb—but authors should really just ask Thomas Pynchon. "Recently, Post Road magazine published [reclusive author] Pynchon's collected blurbs from the years 1966 to 2003 - more than two dozen in all." [NYT]

We were excited when a researcher exposed a stash of pornography—long ignored by uptight scholars—in the notebooks of dark writer Franz Kafka. The Metamorphosis author apparently subscribed to the naughty illustrated magazines of the day, probably for the articles. Scholars hate the fact that this is now public: "to call the illustrated magazines he subscribed to as hardcore porn, is like comparing a poem by Heinrich Heine with an advertising slogan for McDonald's," said [researcher] Anjana Shrivastava. Yeah, well, his porn does sound pretty strange (not that we're judging):

Literary pseudo-agent Barbara Bauer, who sued Wikipedia for defamation, lost the case against them. "The Communications Decency Act contains provisions that provide significant protections for websites that post user-generated content." Defame away, commenters. [Ars Technica]

Jewel of Medina, Sherry Jone's historical novel about Aisha, wife of Muhammad, was killed by its publisher because of a warning from a crackpot professor who though "widespread violence" could break out, Salman Rushdie-style. Satanic Verses author Rushdie told the AP yesterday that this was basically bullshit: "I am very disappointed to hear that my publishers, Random House, have canceled another author's novel, apparently because of their concerns about possible Islamic reprisals." Jones will probably find another publisher due to all this hype and Random House will be so sorry. [AP via Galleycat]

In response to our call for sightings of Amazon's $400 electronic book-reader, the Kindle: an actual Kindle user makes a video. But then he throws the Kindle. [Threat Quality]

Uh oh! Remember when Time magazine solicited questions for Japanese author Haruki Murakami? Ask him anything, and the 2.0-tards did, wondering "How would your own funeral be like?" etc. (It also generated some pretty hilarious questions from y'all.) Since they didn't learn their lesson about the idiocy of user-generated "content" the first time, they're now looking for questions to ask white-suited Bonfire of the Vanities author Tom Wolfe. Gems so far?Man. It's like, you score an interview with a heavyweight like Wolfe, and then screw it up by subjecting him to embarrassing questions like these:

At some point in your professional life as a media person, have you come into contact with Rielle Hunter, mistress of disgraced ex-presidential candidate John Edwards? Now is your chance to cash in! Hunter, as we've learned, has led a long and storied life among artists, writers, and men she sleeps with in the hopes that they're "powerful." One such man was Jay McInerney, who used a thinly fictionalized Hunter as the narrator of one of his "novels" (like Tumblrs but longer and on paper). That novel, the mostly forgotten Story of My Life, has just been reprinted and is fast climbing the Amazon sales charts. It's currently 226 at the internet bookseller. Last week it was, like, nowhere. Will all these voracious new readers enjoy the book? Michiko Kakutani didn't like it that much back in 1988. (Her review is also an awesome early example of her insane obsession with comparing every jaded young protagonist to Holden fucking Caulfield. Haven't you read like a million books, Michiko?? Find one more example of an adolescent narrator please!)

Rev. Jeremiah Wright: "Nope. I'm not publishing anything. I'm not going on any book tours." [Essence via Wonkette, Previously]

"In the 1960s Esquire was perhaps the nation’s most vibrant magazine — sexy, mischievous, irreverent and hip — and Mr. Hills’s idea of fiction, as well as of the literary life, fit into the ethos of the magazine perfectly." [Times]

Wacky Packages were the Consumerist.com of the 1970s (minus the journalism). They were sold in packs like baseball cards, but each card was some spoof of a consumer product, with Mad Magazine-style humor. Crest Toothpaste? Make that Creep Toothpaste, ha. They are simply mesmerizing. Every product imaginable, from deodorant to tuna fish to magazines, was subject to a vicious, wacky remixing. Now a book telling the Wacky Packages story has come out; making this an opportune time for a 20-part Wacky Packages Gallery Blowout! Click through for 20 of our favorites, which have been helpfully preserved on the internet. Ad criticism this sharp wouldn't be seen again for 30 years:

British Daily Mail columnist Allison Pearson is being sued over for an undelivered manuscript of a chick-lit novel for Miramax, who also had the film rights, reports the Telegraph. (Miramax also paid £700,000 for the film rights for her previous novel, I Don't Know How She Does It—which despite being purchased seven years ago has not become a movie yet.) There's been speculation that critic-pandering Harvey Weinstein—when he was at Miramax—might have been inspired to buy her book because of Pearson's husband is New Yorker film critic Anthony Lane. To add to Harvey's spouse-ingratiating charges, Weinstein Books recently published Kathy Freston's Quantum Wellness—she's the wife of former Viacom head Tom Freston.

Vogue contributor and Bergdorf Blondes author Plum Sykes is co-writing a new TV show for NBC, Mogulettes. It's about twentysomething women who are already successful and jetting their way around the world. We would like to meet them! We can only hope watching it will be less painful than the reading of excruciating Bergdorf Blondes. [Observer via Variety]