New research shows that almost one third of Americans spent at least two months in poverty during the worst years of the last recession. The good news is that their bosses probably came through just fine.

You heard of this fella, Bernie Madoff? Runs some sort of money management place in Midtown. Great guy to work for. The best. If you're job-hunting, that is absolutely the man you wanna work for.

Welcome to Thatz Not Okay, a regular column in which I school inquiring readers on what is and is not okay. Please send your questions to caity.weaver@gawker.com with the subject "Thatz Not Okay."

Great news about your social, political, and economic betters!

The Wall Street Journal today takes on a thorny question that's wracking the collective consciences of corporate boards from coast to coast: when does a CEO's private hobby become too dangerous? As natural leaders driven to excel and seek thrills in both their private lives and their careers, it's no wonder that many CEOs enjoy flying their own small planes, or even sky diving. Considering the responsibilities they have to their employees and shareholders, should CEOs of huge public corporation really be allowed to engage in risky behavior that holds a chance of serious injury or death?

Work. You can either conquer it, or let it conquer you. Amirite? Don't let it conquer you. Conquer it. Yes. Conquering it is preferable. Having survived four full years at Gawker Media—eight-time winner of Forbes Magazine's prestigious "Most Unstable Workplace" award—I have picked up some prudent methods of survival. Don't just work—flourish™.

Yesterday, we brought you a former Keith Olbermann employee's tale of how shitty it was to work for Keith Olbermann, as well as Keith Olbermann's multiple responses. Naturally, all of this inspired more Olbermann associates to write in. We now bring you one detractor, and one defender. [Bolding ours]

The story started in whispers at a party. "You worked for Arianna Huffington?" I asked a new acquaintance. "Got any gossip?"

I know you hate your asshole boss, the one who is always yelling at you and making snide remarks. I hate him too. But guess what, he's actually making you work harder and work smarter. At least that's what science says.

Today we gave you some helpful tips on how to treat your assistant like a slave. Naturally this prompted lots of terrible assistant stories, including one that was extra insane. So insane that our allegiances shifted midway through the story.

This week, Star magazine investigates the perilous lives of celebrity assistants. But what's the point of having power if you can't abuse it? A guide to which underling abuses are reasonable, and which will just get you sent to jail.

A Sri Lankan maid says the wealthy Saudi Arabian family she worked for drove hot nails into her arms and legs after she complained to them about being overworked. There are even X-rays! And you thought your office was tough.

This awesome girl, supposedly named Jenny, got fed up with her disgusting boss and quit her job via 33 photos of statements written on a dry erase board. She then sent them in an email to the entire office.

The memos of CEO Edward Davis: "There will be no more... levity... within the office."

As Memorial Day approaches there are going to be plenty of days when your boss will be jetsetting someplace fabulous while you're stuck in your cubicle. Feel free to celebrate, but here are some rules to make it go smoothly.

Eliot Spitzer's once-trusted confidante Lloyd Constantine wrote a book, out next week, about Spitzer's downfall—and Spitzer's none too happy. But it's practically a hallowed tradition to write a tell-all about your famous boss.

American genius thinker of the first order Mark Penn has produced yet another newspaper column, about a Microtrend, as is his wont. This one is about how We Are All Bosses Now and features many nonsensical space-filling words, namely:

Jared Kushner, boy wonder real estate scion and New York Observer owner: watch, as the young man fumbles his newspaper business and insults his staff! Marvel at his father's family-destroying schemes! And, his secret for attracting Ivanka Trump, below!

Yesterday we told you the nightmarish story of NBC's pooping intern. It was perhaps the perfect embodiment of a mortifying day at work. But we asked you, our employed readers, for your own stories of humiliation on the job, and you obliged. We've picked the five best (worst), which are printed in order of increasing terror. After the jump, read why you should never touch scissors at a library, make fun of hobos, joke about speed, pass out on a plane, or try to catch your boss' towel: 1. The Case Of The Clean Scissors [The following is an email sent out to employees at a library]:

On the safe-for-women news site WowoWow today, octogenarian Post gossip queen Liz Smith weighs in with her opinion of bosses: "My boss is an absolute total shit!" Goodness, Liz! "As I have a lot of bosses in this world just as newspaper, magazine-writing, TV-appearing, Internet-contributing souls all have, I will not identify just which particular boss this is," she adds. But of course, we know exactly who she's talking about.